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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29746482">The Worst Way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessionist/pseuds/Obsessionist'>Obsessionist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, Gen, Golden Age of Camelot, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Post-Episode: s04e08 Lamia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Temporary Character Death, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:02:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>64,508</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29746482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessionist/pseuds/Obsessionist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Merlin's magic begins spiralling out of control, his secret is revealed in the worst possible way. The repercussions of Arthur's discovery are further reaching and far more dire than either of them could have anticipated. For when an enemy learns the truth about the serving boy she so despises... it becomes her weapon.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin &amp; Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Numerous OTPS Infinite Fandoms</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Worst Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story was originally posted on my fanfiction . net account under the name "Revhead" in 2015, and is being reposted here.<br/>Chapter 1 "The Worst Way" was originally a stand-alone fic, but grew into a much larger story. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Terror pounded through his veins.</p><p> </p><p>He ran, legs burning, breath coming in harsh, searing gasps, bruised ribs screeching in protest. He was frantically trying to blink blood out of his eyes as he hurtled around corners and through unfamiliar corridors, knowing nothing but the desperate need to <em>run</em>, to escape.</p><p> </p><p>He could hear them gaining on him, relentless in their hunt.  The rapid thuds of their booted feet, the jangle of their armour, echoed ten-fold, driving him ever onward.</p><p> </p><p>Her words echoed in his ears; her deceptively beautiful, manipulative, smug face swam before his mind’s eye.</p><p> </p><p><em>Kill him,</em> she’d said.</p><p> </p><p>And they had tried. Oh god, they had tried.</p><p> </p><p>They were still trying. If they caught him…<br/><br/></p><p>He redoubled his speed, ignoring the tears that blurred his vision. It wasn’t their fault. They weren’t in control; she was, and he <em>knew</em> that. He blamed himself for not being able to break the spell that held them in her grasp, bent them to her will. But it still hurt, to hear their sharp words, see the hatred burning in their eyes, feel their rough hands slamming him into the wall, pinning him by the throat, their booted feet slamming viciously into his back… to know his cries for them to stop would go unheeded.</p><p> </p><p>It hurt to have to run from people he had considered his friends. To fear them.</p><p> </p><p>“Mer-lin…”</p><p> </p><p>It was a taunting, jeering call, telling him his efforts were in vain, that he couldn’t out run them.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mer</em>-lin…”</p><p> </p><p>Closer this time, ever closer.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mer-lin</em>…”</p><p> </p><p>Oh god, they were going to kill him. He was going to die at the hands of the knights he had trusted more than anyone. Arthur’s knights.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was supposed to protect him. He was supposed to keep him safe. Supposed to stay by his side as he became the greatest king the world had ever known, supposed to help him and guide him. It was his destiny.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin didn’t want to fail Arthur. He didn’t want to die, not like this, not in some rundown castle miles from Camelot and Arthur and everything actually worth dying for.</p><p> </p><p>He could almost consider it his responsibility to make sure that he did not die here, to make sure he lived to return to Arthur’s service.</p><p> </p><p>But he wondered if he could do what was necessary to defend himself, if he could wield dangerous magic against men he had laughed with, fought alongside… cared about.</p><p> </p><p>He stumbled on an unseen rock and crashed to the ground, skinning hands and knees but scrambling forward despite the streaks of blood he left in his wake.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to stand, to keep on running, but his strength failed him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Merlin</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>He spun to the threat, wide-eyed.</p><p> </p><p>As they bore down on him, menace in every step, malice in every grin, his mind flooded with panic.</p><p> </p><p>And his magic, realising that the time for flight was over, flooded his body with power. It roared to life, guided by instinct and desperation and the part of him that was wholly Emrys. It was furious, ready to do whatever it took to keep him alive no matter the destruction it would wreak.</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly he realised that using his magic against the knights would not be the problem. Holding back would be.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t do this,” he warned tightly, in that moment both terrified of them and terrified of himself. He knew they would not listen. They were not going to back down, not if he tried to reason with them again and certainly not if he threatened them.</p><p> </p><p>There were only two ways this could go.</p><p> </p><p>“Percival,” he tried, one more time, as the others dropped back and Lamia’s most loyal stepped forward. He did not even draw his sword, flexing his considerable muscles with the clear intention of ripping Merlin to pieces with his bare hands. Never a man of many words, Percival growled: “Die,” and seized him roughly by the shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>He started shaking him. Harder, and harder, until his teeth rattled and his ribs screamed and his neck felt as though it would snap. At a particularly violent shake his head smacked into the solid stone wall behind him, and his vision flashed white.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin cried out, in shock, in pain. The motion was only repeated, like a dagger being driven to the hilt through the back of his skull, again, and again.</p><p> </p><p>It would kill him if he let it go on any longer.</p><p> </p><p>His mouth opened in a roar of agony, of terrible power about to be unleashed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“…Merlin… idiot… wake up…”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He slapped a hand against Percival’s chest, feeling the concussive force building up inside him until he thought he would explode.</p><p> </p><p>“…Mer<em>lin… get up, you no-good, lazy…”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Percival shook him one more time, and in the same moment that his head struck the wall Merlin let go of his restraint.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes flashed gold. Magic ripped through him –</p><p> </p><p>And seemed to tear the world asunder.</p><p> </p><p>Because he was no longer in a castle, he was in the woods. And it was not Percival shaking him. It was not Percival who caught the full brunt of the enormously powerful blast of magic that Merlin had deliberately allowed to slip through his bonds. It was not Percival who grunted in pain and surprise, nor Percival who went flying thirty yards across the clearing to slam bodily into a tree with a sickening crunch.</p><p> </p><p>It was Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Arthur woke that morning of his own accord. As soon as he realised that his servant had once again failed to rouse him on time the irritation that had reluctantly lain dormant overnight flared anew within him, building rapidly into a raging temper.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin!” he yelled, leaping to his feet. His eyes scanned the clearing where they had made camp, and he discovered that everyone else was awake already – everyone except for Merlin, who slumbered at the foot of a tree in an awkward, half-propped up position as though he hadn’t intended to sleep at all.</p><p> </p><p>For the moment, Arthur decided to ignore the fact that his knights were just as quiet and subdued this morning as they had been throughout the entire ride yesterday. They were moving about, preparing breakfast and packing up gear, readying the horses – all servant duties that Merlin should have seen to – and they were doing so in virtual silence. No words passed between them, no laugher, not even meaningful looks. They kept to themselves, and deliberately avoided making eye contact with anyone.</p><p> </p><p>If he was honest with himself, he was more annoyed with them than he was with Merlin. They had refused to explain their behaviour, even under his direct questioning last night, instead staring at the ground and mumbling apologies before retiring – retreating, more like – to their bedrolls. He struggled to read them, when they would not explain outright; their expressions bore traces of an emotion he was not accustomed to seeing on the faces of his knights, and it had taken him long, sleepless hours to recognise it as shame. He could not fathom what could have happened to make them all feel that way, though he knew something must have.</p><p> </p><p>Guinevere had been easier to decipher, despite the fact that she was no less reticent in her speech than the men were. She was upset, and furious with the knights for some reason. She glared at them with alarming regularity, and he had been surprised to note that not even her brother was spared from her unspoken wrath. She seemed to hold no anger for Merlin, however. When she glanced at him, her gentle eyes displayed only concern, worry, and sympathy for him.</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, Merlin was at the centre of all of this. Although all the evidence pointed to the knights being at fault in this instance, Merlin had failed to wake him and so it was Merlin that Arthur currently wanted to throttle.</p><p> </p><p>Never mind that Merlin had barely spoken a word since the company had set out from Longstead, or that he in his posture and demeanour resembled nothing so much as an abused puppy, or that those eyes that usually sparkled had become dulled by hurt and betrayal. Never mind that he looked more fragile now than ever, or that he appeared deeply troubled even in sleep, or that god knew he deserved the rest. Arthur was not known for his sensitivity or molly-coddling. Merlin should have been awake long before now, and Arthur was going to rectify the situation.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mer</em>lin!” Arthur snapped, striding determinedly towards his servant.</p><p> </p><p>A soft hand caught his arm. Guinevere. “Arthur, don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” he retorted irritably, shaking her off. “He has work to do. Merlin!”</p><p> </p><p>“No, don’t wake him.” It was Gwaine this time, his expression still as sombre and guilt-ridden as it had been yesterday.</p><p> </p><p>“At least give him a little while longer,” Elyan suggested, glancing toward Merlin’s sleeping form before looking hurriedly away again.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” he demanded, and still no explanations were forthcoming. “Right, as I thought. <em>Merlin</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>The disobedient imbecile refused to wake at the call of his master, although he did stir slightly and mumble something incoherent. His features were twisted in distress.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur refused to admit to anyone, including himself, that he was worried about his friend. He refused to admit that he had missed Merlin’s cheerful prattle since the moment he had ridden out from Camelot without his King, or that he had been overjoyed and overwhelmed with relief to find Merlin safe, or that it bothered him deeply to think that he had come to the rescue too late. Something terrible had happened, and Merlin was the walking wounded because of it.</p><p> </p><p>It occurred to Arthur that Merlin never hesitated to express his boundless enthusiasm or seemingly unquenchable joy for life and infect the people around him in doing so, but he closed up tighter than a clam when he was hurting. He always coaxed Arthur into sharing his hardships and his troubles and his grief with him, but Arthur had never really taken the time to return the favour. It wasn’t as though he never noticed when Merlin was down, because honestly it was fairly difficult to miss, but inasmuch as he had sometimes tried, Arthur had never quite managed to be the friend that Merlin could open up to.</p><p> </p><p>And this, right here, could be the reason why. But Arthur wasn’t admitting it to himself, and so he was going ahead with his plan to disturb the sleep that his manservant all too obviously needed.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Merlin!”</em> he yelled a final time, and when the raven-haired man still obstinately refused to get up, Arthur bent over his form and roughly seized his shoulders. He started to shake him, but Merlin was so deeply unconscious that Arthur’s gentle efforts had no effect. He shook him harder, and harder.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t mean for Merlin to knock his head against the tree trunk behind him, but even that failed to rouse him as his eyes rolled madly under their lids and whimpers of terror escaped his lips.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe he was trapped in a nightmare.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, you idiot, wake up!”</p><p> </p><p>To his surprise, and initial elation, he felt Merlin’s hand slap against his chest, as though to push him away. He thought it meant that his servant was finally awake, but his eyes were still closed.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was getting sick and tired of this.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mer</em>lin, get up, you lazy, no good, layabout, incompetent, idiotic, clumsy-”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was building up for a nice long rant, when the impossible – the <em>unthinkable</em> – happened.</p><p> </p><p>At long last, Merlin’s eyes flashed open.</p><p> </p><p>Flashed gold.</p><p> </p><p>And a blast of magic – <em>magic – </em>slammed into Arthur’s chest, flinging him violently across the clearing.</p><p> </p><p>He barely even felt the shock of the impact as his powerful momentum was brought to an abrupt stop by a tree in his path. He didn’t feel the pain that shot through his back, or the hard earth beneath him when gravity reclaimed him and he collapsed to his knees.</p><p> </p><p>The shock of what had just happened swamped everything else.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Consciousness returned to Merlin like a slap to the face.</p><p> </p><p>In an instant he remembered everything about what had happened with Lamia, how Guinevere had defended him and Arthur had rescued them both, the return to Longstead, the recovery of all the men who had been affected, the half company containing Gaius and Lord Agravaine that had set out for Camelot before them, the uncomfortable ride with the knights who remembered everything but would say nothing, and his inability to fall asleep for hours into the night. Fear, irrational as it had been with the creature gone, had plagued him, forcing him to maintain a state of hyper alertness that his terribly fatigued body could not possibly sustain.</p><p> </p><p>He had not thought he would be able to fall asleep, but fallen asleep he apparently had, because a nightmarish combination of actual memory and what could easily have been had assaulted his mind as he dreamed. The powerful instinct for self-preservation had torn down the walls of his iron control over his magic, initiating a reaction that he would never have permitted of himself if he had been conscious.</p><p> </p><p>He had attacked Percival, aggressively, with his magic.</p><p> </p><p>But it hadn’t been Percival.</p><p> </p><p>The shock in Arthur’s eyes had been what truly woke him, though he had seen it only for a split second before Arthur’s body had shot off across the clearing.</p><p> </p><p>It was too late to recall the magic.</p><p> </p><p>Too late to change what had happened.</p><p> </p><p>Too late to stop himself from hurting Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>There was a circle of shocked faces surrounding him that he saw out of the periphery of his vision, but he only had eyes for Arthur, only cared about Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was crumpled at the base of a tree, and for a heart-stopping moment of absolute terror, Merlin thought that he had killed his King.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin stopped breathing, and he could have dropped dead on the spot from the horror and guilt and grief and eradication of destiny, if in that moment Arthur hadn’t stirred, and then slowly begun to climb to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s breath exploded out of him, and he very nearly laughed in relief. Arthur was alive!</p><p> </p><p>But then he caught sight of Arthur’s expression, and he realised that Arthur knew. He <em>knew.</em></p><p> </p><p>This was not how it was supposed to happen.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had imagined the day that Arthur finally found out the truth about him. He had considered so many different scenarios, ranging from a heroic rescue of his King that required an unavoidable and undeniable display of powerful, miraculous magic, to a quiet evening when Merlin finally felt that Arthur was ready and he told him at long last. He had tried to picture Arthur’s reaction in his head, and he had always known that his friend would be shocked by the revelation.</p><p> </p><p>He had hoped for amazement, awe, and eventual acceptance. He had dreamed of a continued friendship that only grew stronger for the lies that were no longer between them.</p><p> </p><p>But this…</p><p> </p><p>This was the worst possible way for Arthur to find out.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had <em>attacked</em> him. With magic.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter that he hadn’t meant to, or that if he had known who it was he would never, ever, have even considered using magic against him like that, <em>hurting</em> him like that. He had sworn to himself that his magic would only ever be used to protect people, to protect Arthur most of all. Merlin would die before bringing Arthur harm.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he gasped out. Tears sprung to his eyes. “Arthur, I’m <em>sorry</em>.” He scrambled to his feet clumsily, and stepped toward his friend in heart-felt supplication.</p><p> </p><p>The cold ring of steel rent the air as Arthur’s sword was drawn from its scabbard. Arthur levelled it at him, the sharp point aimed directly at his chest, and Merlin stopped short.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s face twisted with disgust and loathing.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorcerer,” he spat.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s heart splintered at hearing such hatred in the voice of his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, I’m sorry,” he tried. “I didn’t mean to-”</p><p> </p><p>“To use magic when you know it is expressly forbidden in my kingdom?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin hesitated, and Arthur barked a harsh laugh that was anything but humorous.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t bother lying to me, sorcerer. You cannot deny what you just did. There are witnesses.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin didn’t dare to look at the others in the clearing. He couldn’t bear to see the expression that Arthur wore mirrored in all of their faces.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t – I don’t deny it,” Merlin stammered. “But I swear to you, Arthur-”</p><p> </p><p>“How <em>dare</em> you!” Arthur thundered, taking an aggressive step toward him. “How dare you call me by my name? You will address me as King, Sire, or Your Majesty. You are no friend of mine, you filthy traitor!”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em>am</em> your friend. Please, sire, please believe me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never – I could never-”</p><p> </p><p>“You threw me across the clearing!”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know it was you – I was asleep, having a nightmare, and you just – you just-”</p><p> </p><p>“You are trying to blame me for your treachery, sorcerer?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m just trying to explain – I thought I was being attacked, and I reacted, instinctively, but if I had been properly awake I promise I wouldn’t have-”</p><p> </p><p>“Now you claim it as an accident! The use of magic is no accident, sorcerer; it requires spells and potions and other such despicable things. It is a deliberate, seditious act of pure evil.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s emotions flared with annoyance at hearing Arthur parrot the foolish, ignorant beliefs of his father, and the retort snapped from his mouth before he could consider the wisdom of his words. “Magic isn’t evil. People who have magic are <em>not</em> evil!”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think I have forgotten all of the witches and sorcerers that have tried to kill me and destroy my kingdom? Do you think I am unaware of their pestilent filth staining my land, harming my people?”</p><p> </p><p>“The actions of a few cannot be used to judge-”</p><p> </p><p>“A <em>few</em>? Every being I have come across that uses magic has used it for evil.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you have had bad experiences with magic, but so have you been injured countless times by mortal blades and spears and arrows. In and of themselves, those weapons are not inherently evil. In the hands of the wrong people, they can be used to murder and destroy, but in the hands of a great king, or a noble knight, they can be used to defend innocent people; they can be used for <em>good.</em> And magic is the same! It can be used to help people. <em>I</em> have used magic to help people.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you confess to using magic more than this once!”</p><p> </p><p>“Well – yes – but-”</p><p> </p><p>“You have been practicing sorcery and witchcraft, all the while living inside my palace and pretending – <em>pretending! </em>– to be my loyal servant. My <em>friend</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>And Arthur’s voice broke the slightest bit. In his eyes, Merlin caught a glimpse of the raw pain and deep hurt that Arthur’s anger had been masking.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had wounded him more than just physically.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur thought he had betrayed him, just like Morgana had. When her duplicitous nature had been revealed it had broken Arthur’s heart, but he had managed to carry on, leaning on Merlin for support more than ever. And now he thought that everything between them had been a lie.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur,” Merlin said gently, aching for his friend, reaching out to him.</p><p> </p><p>The shields snapped back into place. Arthur snarled and strode forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Kneel,” he growled darkly. His face was set in a hard expression, and his eyes were as cold as ice.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin felt a tear slip down his cheek, and made no attempt to dash it away. “Sire, please… I have never been anything but loyal to you. Everything… everything I have ever done since coming to Camelot has been for you. To protect you. To help you. I am your friend. Please… please trust me. I have never given you reason to doubt me before now. Please, give me a chance…”</p><p> </p><p>“Kneel.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin closed his eyes, and the tears spilled over freely.</p><p> </p><p>He dropped to his knees.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything for you, Arthur. Anything.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur brought his sword up, and Merlin heard the whistle of steel through the air.</p><p> </p><p>For a split second, he wondered if it would hurt to die. But he realised nothing could hurt so much as Arthur’s rejection. Dying could bring only relief.</p><p> </p><p>He braced himself.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s blade was bearing down on the traitor’s neck, the strength of his arm fuelled by anger and hurt and betrayal. He had trusted Merlin more than he had trusted anyone in his entire life, and once again his trust had proven to be horrifically misplaced. He had trusted a sorcerer. He had been friends with a sorcerer. He had <em>cared</em> about a sorcerer! He had defended, confided in, fought alongside, engaged in playful banter with and sought advice from a <em>sorcerer</em>!</p><p> </p><p>He was the world’s biggest fool.</p><p> </p><p>The traitor needed to die, right now. There could be no trial, and no carefully constructed pyre for a public dawn execution. If Arthur didn’t kill him right now, then… then he might lose his nerve. He might succumb to the weakness that stirred within him even now, crying out at his intention to kill this man who had been his first and only true friend.</p><p> </p><p>His blade arced toward the stupid, ever-present neckerchief and he felt an irrational moment when he suddenly, desperately didn’t want to damage the most precious article of clothing that his servant owned. He hardened his resolve –</p><p> </p><p>And his arm jarred painfully as his sword clashed against another that had appeared as though out of nowhere, blocking the blow that should have taken Merlin’s head off.</p><p> </p><p>He felt a rush of relief but ruthlessly crushed it, dragging fury back to the forefront. His eyes flashed up, looking for the source of the interference.</p><p> </p><p>It was Gwaine, and he looked as determined as Arthur had felt when his blade first began its descent an eternity ago.</p><p> </p><p>“No, Arthur,” Gwaine said, his voice calm and for once completely serious. “You don’t want to kill Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur flinched ever so slightly at the name. “Sorcerers must die. It is the law.”</p><p> </p><p>“To hell with the law!” Gwaine snapped, flicking his hair back unconsciously so the steel in his eyes could not be hidden. “This is Merlin we are talking about.”</p><p> </p><p>“The person we thought we knew is a <em>lie</em>. An insidious fabrication designed and maintained so he could slip through our defences and infiltrate my inner court to take Camelot down from the inside. You saw it with your own eyes, and you heard him admit it – he has used magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“So? Does that change who he is?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course it does! Magic is <em>evil</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if someone like Merlin can have magic, then I would say that magic cannot be evil after all.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur narrowed his eyes at the man. “That is treason.”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Gwaine argued stubbornly. “Treason, princess, is plotting against the crown. I have no intention of harming you. But if you want to kill Merlin you will have to kill me first, because I will die before I let any harm come to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Conspiring and consorting with a known sorcerer,” Arthur hissed, “is also punishable by death. By defending him, you share in his guilt.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine gazed at him levelly. “So be it.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur gritted his teeth, and prepared to strike down one of his most loyal knights.</p><p> </p><p>But another blade inserted itself in his path, blocking the blow.</p><p> </p><p>Percival.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t do this, Arthur,” he said. “The pain it will bring you will tear you apart.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is my duty to defend Camelot from those who would bring it to ruin!”</p><p> </p><p>“As it is mine,” Percival countered. “But you have no evidence of that here. You have a man, defending his friend. And you have-”</p><p> </p><p>“A sorcerer,” Arthur interrupted sharply, but Percival continued on over the top of him.</p><p> </p><p>“-you have Merlin, who as far as I have seen has only ever striven to protect you and your kingdom at great personal risk. I thought he went into battle at your side completely defenceless, and he won my respect for his courage long ago. But his ability to command magic only makes him all the more admirable, because he would use it to save your life in the full knowledge that you might well kill him for it if you found out. He has stood by you, as your steadfast and loyal servant and defender, despite the laws and despite your father and despite your attitude toward people like him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Loyal,” Arthur echoed, disbelievingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Sire…” Leon ventured, stepping forward cautiously. “While I understand why you feel you must do this, I have to admit that it doesn’t make any sense. If Merlin was a traitor, surely you would already be dead by now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe he is as an incompetent assassin as he is a servant.”</p><p> </p><p>Leon’s eyebrows rose. “Sire, he threw you one hundred yards across the clearing while he was half asleep. If he can wield that kind of power without effort, do you really think you would still be alive and Camelot would still be standing if he truly intended you harm?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s conviction wavered.</p><p> </p><p>Leon’s attention drifted into deep thought for a moment, and realisation slowly dawned on his face. His eyes widened. “He could have killed us,” he breathed, and some sort of shared epiphany seemed to run through the knights that made them stare down at the sorcerer in fear, amazement… and respect?</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Arthur said, wondering why Leon was not now trying to help him kill the sorcerer. “He’s dangerous. He’s a danger to all of us.”</p><p> </p><p>Leon shook his head. “But that’s just it, sire. He could have killed us, but he didn’t. Even though he would have only been acting in reasonable self-defence.” He looked away, suddenly ashamed.</p><p> </p><p>“Even though we deserved it,” Percival continued quietly, and his voice was laden with a similar guilt.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?” Arthur asked, intrigued almost despite himself.</p><p> </p><p>For a long moment, no one answered him, so he flicked his sword point to Gwaine’s neck. “You had better start to talk, or I will end your ability to – permanently.”</p><p> </p><p>To his surprise, Gwaine’s eyes filled with tears. Unable to turn his head away for fear of the blade, he turned his gaze skywards so he wouldn’t be looking down at the sorcerer as he spoke. “We were hurting him. We tried to kill him.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. “Because he attacked you?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Arthur, Merlin didn’t do anything,” Guinevere insisted. “He disagreed with their decisions, and tried to reason with them, but he never did anything to deserve-” She cut herself off, falling silent.</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“A brutal beating,” Percival confessed.</p><p> </p><p>“The likes of which we, in our right minds, would not inflict even on the worst enemy of Camelot,” Leon added.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had no idea what event they were referring to. He had no knowledge of his knights beating up his servant, and without this disturbing revelation of his true nature Arthur couldn’t fathom what would have incited it. “What are you all going on about?”</p><p> </p><p>“We were terrible to him,” Gwaine whispered. “My best friend… And the things I said to him… the things I <em>did</em>… Oh, god…”</p><p> </p><p>Guinevere seemed to be fighting within herself, glancing repeatedly at the sorcerer as though expecting him to say something, but he remained still and quiet, kneeling at Arthur’s feet. So she spoke in his stead. “It wasn’t your fault, Gwaine. Any of you. It was Lamia.”</p><p> </p><p>The scraps of information he had been getting clicked into place alongside the odd behaviour of his company ever since Longstead – or, more accurately, ever since the incident with the Lamia creature – and he realised what they were getting at.</p><p> </p><p>“The creature was controlling you,” he said to them, and they nodded in confirmation. “It ordered you to hurt my servant.”</p><p> </p><p>“To kill him,” Gwaine corrected hoarsely.</p><p> </p><p>“And you obeyed?”</p><p> </p><p>A few moments of silence.</p><p> </p><p>“We tried,” Percival whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“It is no wonder that he reacted so strongly when you tried to wake him, sire, after what we put him through,” Leon said. “I have seen stronger men than he suffer less and be affected far worse.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s anger was simmering. “Show me.”</p><p> </p><p>They seemed puzzled, so he stated more firmly, “Show me what you did to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, reluctantly, Gwaine crouched down beside the sorcerer. “Merlin?” he asked, his voice as gentle as one that would be used on a scared child. He received no response.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine reached out, hesitation evident in his every movement. When his fingers touched the sorcerer’s back, the frail body flinched and Gwaine winced with empathy and guilt. “I’m sorry, Merlin. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I promise, I won’t hurt you anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>The body tensed, but no efforts at resistance were made as Gwaine carefully lifted the shirt and pulled it up, over his head.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur gave a sharp intake of breath at the sight.</p><p> </p><p>Dark, mottled bruising showed up in stark relief against what little pale skin remained unscathed. Arthur could see that the contusions slipped around the curve of his torso, and expected that his chest would look far worse.</p><p> </p><p>Fury and protectiveness flared up within him in equal measure, pounding in his veins, roaring in his ears.</p><p> </p><p>“You did this?” he demanded of them. “You tried to kill my servant? You. Hurt. <em>Merlin</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, sire,” the knights murmured in unison.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re saying sorry to <em>me</em>? I am not the one you have brutally abused! I am not the one half crippled by deep bruises that you inflicted! You owe your apologies to Merlin!”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire,” Leon agreed. “Merlin-” he began to address the figure that knelt at Arthur’s feet.</p><p> </p><p>Cruel reality rushed back to him. The memory returned, of eyes turned golden, of being hit by a blast of magic, of hurtling back through the air and slamming against a tree. Of betrayal.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Arthur interrupted. “No. You were right to do what you did. You were right to treat him that way. He is a sorcerer, after all. In this case, I would consider it premature punishment.”</p><p> </p><p>A gasping sob came from Merlin – the first sound he had made since declaring that he would do anything for Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Blue eyes, awash with tears, looked up at him. “You really feel that way?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Arthur said firmly, refusing to feel pinned by those blue eyes that always seemed to gaze straight into his soul.</p><p> </p><p>“You hate me that much?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you could never find it within yourself to forgive me. Even though this was not something I chose, it was something I was born with.”</p><p> </p><p>His resolve faltered at this new piece of information. It was something he had never heard of before. Was it possible? Could someone be born with magic?</p><p> </p><p>The memory flashed by his mind’s eye again, and he could not remember seeing any potions or hearing any spells. It had been a defensive reaction, pure instinct. Impossible if the talent for sorcery had merely been learned. If it was ingrained from birth, though… as natural as breathing or blinking…</p><p> </p><p>But magic was magic. And magic was evil.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he said. “You will not be forgiven. You broke the law, and you deceived your king. I cannot let that go.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded, visibly trying to hold back his grief. Arthur could see the pain in his eyes, though, as clear as day and as piercing as an arrow to the heart.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>He bowed his head, pulling away his neckerchief to make it easier for the blow to kill him.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin-” Gwaine started to protest.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Merlin said quietly. “Do not defend me. Do not interfere with what has to happen. Thank you for your words, all of you. Your support means more to me than you will ever know, especially since I am so wholly undeserving. I am sorry that I have been lying to you all this time. In a way, I guess I am like Lamia. I am a creature of magic, and there is nothing I can do to change that. I will accept the consequences.”</p><p> </p><p>His voice shook, though he made an effort to still the tremble in his battered body. “I am not afraid to die.”</p><p> </p><p>“Step back,” Arthur ordered.</p><p> </p><p>The knights and Guinevere obeyed, however reluctantly, leaving a wide berth around them until it was just Merlin and Arthur in the middle of the clearing.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur raised his sword, and began the swing that would end the life of his friend.</p><p> </p><p>But his blade stopped short. This time, of his own accord.</p><p> </p><p>He frowned down at his servant.</p><p> </p><p>“Defend yourself,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin made no move to do so.</p><p> </p><p>“You have powerful magic, don’t you? Defend yourself!”</p><p> </p><p>“No, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur couldn’t understand it. “Stand up!” he snapped, grabbing Merlin by the arm and hauling him roughly to his feet. He stumbled, but managed to regain his footing.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur tried not to choke on the bile that rose in his throat at the state of Merlin’s chest.</p><p> </p><p>“You are a sorcerer, and I intend to execute you. Defend yourself!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin gazed levelly at him. “I won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur lashed out with his sword, and although Merlin flinched he made no attempt to get out of the way. The blade sliced his cheek. Blood ran.</p><p> </p><p>“Defend yourself!”</p><p> </p><p>“No.”</p><p> </p><p>Even angrier, Arthur lashed out again, cutting a thin slice across Merlin’s upper arm.</p><p> </p><p>“Defend yourself! Use your magic against me!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to.”</p><p> </p><p>His blade flashed through the air for the third time, inflicting a shallow slash across Merlin’s ribs.</p><p> </p><p>“Defend yourself!” he all but shrieked, infuriated by the stupidity of his servant who had tremendous power but wouldn’t even lift a finger to save his own life.</p><p> </p><p>“I will not.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Why</em>?!” Arthur yelled, throwing down his sword and punching Merlin in the jaw.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin staggered back from the blow, but caught himself and gave his response with steady conviction.</p><p> </p><p>“Because I will not risk your life for the sake of my own. It is my job to protect you. I have done so, to the best of my ability, since that very first banquet when I pulled you out of the way of that witch’s dagger using the enhanced perception and speed my magic granted me. I have been there, behind the scenes, defending you against the many dangers you faced that could not be combated by mortal weapons alone. When my magic was not enough, I have been willing to lay down my life for you.</p><p> </p><p>“I did not think that it would end this way between us. I hoped that, when the time came for you to discover that I had magic, you would be ready to accept me for who I am rather than for who your father, in his bitterness and his grief, had made me out to be. I hoped that I could remain by your side, and that together we would see Albion united and at peace. But perhaps that was not my destiny after all.</p><p> </p><p>“I have brought you this far. I hope it is enough, and that you will stay safe when I am gone. I hope you will grow into the great king I always thought you would be. I regret that I will not be there to see it happen for myself.</p><p> </p><p>“But if you want to strike me down, I will not defend myself against you. What happened earlier was truly an accident, and if I could take it back I would. I have never meant you harm, and I have never used my magic to hurt you or your kingdom. I would never. Despite my powers, Arthur, and despite the fact that you have always been a prat and a dollop head, you were never in any danger from me.</p><p> </p><p>“Someday… maybe someday you will be able to recognise my words as the truth they are.”</p><p> </p><p>A tear escaped, slipping down his cheek and capturing a droplet of blood along the way to run along his jaw line and drip down to be lost on the forest floor.</p><p> </p><p>“All I ever wanted was your acceptance. If I cannot have that… then there is no point in living anyway. Take care of yourself, Arthur Pendragon.”</p><p> </p><p>He knelt, and once again offered his neck to the executioner’s blade.</p><p> </p><p>Proving wrong all of Arthur’s accusations against him. No evil sorcerer bent on murdering Arthur and destroying Camelot would willingly submit to death when he had the means of defending himself.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had no doubt that Merlin could kill him where he stood with a single word.</p><p> </p><p>But he knew, finally knew, that he wouldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Really, Arthur had known it all along.</p><p> </p><p>He had never known someone more loyal, more brave, more honourable and more trustworthy than his idiotic manservant Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had been protecting him all along, just like he’d said.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was willing to die for him.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin wasn’t dangerous to Arthur, only to his enemies.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was the most powerful ally that Arthur could possibly have.</p><p> </p><p>More importantly, though, Merlin was the best friend that Arthur could possibly have.</p><p> </p><p>And he had nearly thrown all of that away, out of fear and prejudice.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m an idiot,” Arthur said. The admission was one he had never thought he would utter out loud; usually he was the one decrying Merlin’s stupidity.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin risked a look up at him, confusion creasing his brow. The fact that he didn’t leap on the opportunity to laugh at or insult his King showed how much their friendship had fractured. Arthur intended to make it right.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m an idiot,” Arthur repeated. To prove his humility, he dropped to his knees in front of Merlin; he would not stand over him as a king, but rather knelt as a servant would to show that they were equals. “Only a fool would see a loyal friend as a traitor. I brought this deception upon myself by giving you every reason to fear how I would respond if you told me the truth. That you remained true to me despite my attitude towards those with magic proves that you are a far better man than I.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin stared at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I know an apology cannot begin to make up for what I have done to you.” Nearly executing him in a fit of blind rage was only the latest in a long list of crimes Arthur had committed against Merlin and his kind. Looking back, he could hardly believe that a powerful sorcerer would have borne such treatment. “I do not know what I can possibly say, except that I am sorry. After all that I have done, I cannot ask for your forgiveness. I do not deserve it, just as I have not deserved your steadfast loyalty, patience and friendship over all these years. If you wish to strike me down, you would be well within your rights.”</p><p> </p><p>“I would never harm you, Arthur,” Merlin said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur closed his eyes against the grief he felt. “I know. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to tell you. I have wanted to tell you for years. But you have shown that I was right to hold my tongue. You are not the king, or the friend, that I thought you were.”</p><p> </p><p>The words stung. Arthur had always aspired to be a fair and just King who truly cared for his people, but his true nature had been revealed in the appalling way he had treated his closest friend. What kind of man would lean on another for support without ever offering so much as an ear to listen in return? He had laid all of his burdens on his servant, but Merlin had never been able to confide in him in the same way. Merlin had never felt <em>safe</em> with him. Merlin had asked for nothing but acceptance and a place to belong, and Arthur had given him neither.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur forced himself to meet Merlin’s gaze. “I was wrong. I cannot change what has happened in the past, but I would like to build that future you spoke of… if you are still willing to stand by my side.”</p><p> </p><p>“Things cannot be as they were.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Arthur knew he would have to make a significant gesture to restore the faith Merlin had in him. “It is time for a change. That is why…” Maybe it was crazy, and maybe his late father would never forgive him, but “-I intend to lift the ban on magic.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s eyes widened.</p><p> </p><p>“You are a good man, Merlin. If a good man can have magic, magic cannot be inherently evil. I am willing to trust that there are others like you; people who would use their magic to protect, to serve and to heal. Henceforth, such people will be welcome in my kingdom. It is not enough, I know…”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin placed a hand on his shoulder, the faintest hint of a smile appearing on his face. “It’s a start. It’s definitely a start.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hope someday that we can find our way back to being friends,” Arthur ventured, not sure if he was pushing his luck. “I will do all I can to earn your forgiveness-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head. “Forgiveness isn’t something you earn. It has to be given freely.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur tried to hide his disappointment, but Merlin wasn’t finished. “If you can forgive my deception… I think I can forgive your mistrust.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s forgiven,” Arthur assured him.</p><p> </p><p>“Then we’ll be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>The heart of this man. Arthur had always known there was something special about Merlin, but he had never realised just how lucky he was to have this man in his life. He was stunned by all that Merlin had done for him and he could hardly believe that Merlin could forgive him so easily.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” He meant it with every fibre of his being. “I promise that, this time, I won’t let you down.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I’ll take a chance on you, Arthur Pendragon.” Merlin stood and offered him a hand. “Friends?”</p><p> </p><p>A simple handshake would probably have sufficed, but instead Arthur pulled Merlin into a gentle, but very manly, embrace.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I thought you were going for a hug,” he quipped, surprising a laugh out of Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>“Group hug?” Gwaine called out hopefully, and Guinevere swatted him on the arm.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur and Merlin broke apart, looked over at the knight who was exaggeratedly cradling his wounded appendage as Guinevere scowled at him, and laughed together.</p><p> </p><p>It was a joyous sound, and it heralded a new age.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the other knights joined in and laughter filled the clearing, the tension that had strained relations within the company almost to breaking point began to dispel.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t know of a time when he had been more overwhelmed with relief than he was in that moment. He was relieved that Merlin was not a traitor after all; relieved that his trust had not been misplaced; relieved that, of all the people in the world, magic had chosen such an inherently good and kind-hearted person to imbue with great power; relieved that his knights and future queen had been both willing and able to defend his servant while rage had been clouding his judgement… But most of all he was relieved that Merlin was alive.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur knew that if he had allowed his blade to fall he would have regretted it for the rest of his life. The loss would have devastated him, even though he would never have let his grief show. But the experience would have changed him for the worse and that much the people <em>would</em> have seen.</p><p> </p><p>Although Arthur rarely acknowledged it, Merlin’s arrival in Camelot had been the catalyst that began his transformation from an arrogant, pompous prince, craving nothing but the approval of his father and caring little for anyone but himself, to the man he was today – still flawed, he knew, but a better person and a better king for the influence that his manservant had had on him. In a world without Merlin, especially if his death had been at Arthur’s own hand, Arthur feared he would be grim and unfeeling, harsh and unforgiving, brutal and ruthless, and that never again would he have cause or desire to laugh.</p><p> </p><p>So he laughed now, less because Gwaine’s and Gwen’s expressions were funny and more because Merlin was alive and safe so he <em>could</em> laugh, knowing that everything was alright.</p><p> </p><p>The hilarity gradually faded as each of them regained their composure. Arthur noticed Merlin swiping at his eyes but decided not to call him a girl – just this once – given the gravity of what had just happened, and what had almost happened. He figured Merlin had the right to be feeling a little emotional. But one sappy, sentimental hug was Arthur’s limit for the day… week… month…possibly year. So he fell back to what he was good at.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, <em>Mer</em>lin, thanks to your sleep-in we are once again behind schedule. My presence is required back in Camelot post haste, so let’s everyone get a move on.”</p><p> </p><p>The knights nodded and went to saddle their horses, but Guinevere lifted an eyebrow and Merlin surveyed the campsite with shocked dismay.</p><p> </p><p>“What…?”</p><p> </p><p>It was the same expression and tone that Merlin had displayed when he came back from one of his regular disappearing acts to find Arthur’s chambers in a state of missing-servant-induced chaos. Arthur frowned as he mentally re-examined Merlin’s claim that his absence was because he had been ‘dying’ in the light of his recently acquired knowledge of Merlin’s magic and supposed tendency for saving Camelot. He wondered what had actually happened, and not just that time but all the other times that Merlin had skived off from his duties with poor excuses. He was prevented from asking by Gwen’s wry comment,</p><p> </p><p>“They were trying to help you, Merlin, so you wouldn’t have as much work to do when you woke up. I didn’t have the heart to tell them they were doing it wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine and Elyan blushed, and even Percival and Leon looked sheepish.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, thanks guys,” Merlin said dubiously, running a hand through his hair in a gesture that Arthur recognised to mean ‘There is no way I can get all this done before Arthur yells at me’. He actually felt a bit sorry for the younger man.</p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t there a way you could do it faster?” Arthur asked, waving his hand in the air in a vague reference to Merlin’s abilities. Merlin stared at him without comprehension, and Arthur sighed. “So, you are still an idiot. At least some things will never change. What I meant was, couldn’t you use-” he hesitated for just a second, but he had already made his decision “-magic?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked gobsmacked. The others seemed surprised, too, but their expressions soon morphed into curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>“Well – yes, I mean, I guess,” Merlin stammered.</p><p> </p><p>“Go on, then,” Arthur prompted, genuinely curious himself to see Merlin’s magic in action when it wasn’t blasting him across the clearing.</p><p> </p><p>“Really? Are you sure you want me to? I-”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur just looked at him; Merlin should know by now that he did not like having to repeat himself.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin still appeared nervous and uncertain, but he obediently raised a hand so the palm was facing outward. He hesitated for a moment longer, glancing at Arthur, silently asking permission and simultaneously pleading for leniency, as though he still expected to be executed if he openly used magic. Arthur supposed that a lifetime habit of hiding would be hard to break.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m waiting,” he said, and his voice was impatient but his eyes were gentle, letting Merlin know that it was okay.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin swallowed, nodded, and began to chant words that to Arthur were meaningless gibberish but were in fact, he knew, words of magic. It scared and intrigued him both.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s eyes flashed gold.</p><p> </p><p>And the campsite came alive.</p><p> </p><p>They watched in awe as un-held brushes floated into the air and gave the horses thorough brush downs, followed by saddles which fastened themselves in place. Buckets whizzed off to the nearby stream and returned filled with water to divide among the horses and douse the fire. Untidy bedrolls unfurled themselves and packed away far more neatly. Arthur’s sword rose into the air to have a cloth wipe away the dirt and blood, then a whetstone sharpened it before it slid itself into Arthur’s scabbard (which freaked him out until he realised that the enchanted sword was not trying to run him through). Arthur’s cloak shook itself out and fastened around his shoulders. Belongings were packed into travel bags, and a multitude of other little things happened too fast for Arthur to catch.</p><p> </p><p>Within a couple of minutes, they were ready to ride.</p><p> </p><p>As Merlin lowered his hand and the camp settled, they all turned from the finished spectacle to stare at him. Guinevere was gaping, Gwaine was laughing, Elyan was stunned, Percival was impressed and the expression on Leon’s face suggested that his respect for the servant had risen to another level. Arthur warred between all of those reactions and more, but he settled for a simple,</p><p> </p><p>“Not bad,” and hoped that Merlin would hear what was not said, as he usually did.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin smiled faintly, but the aura of power that had filled and surrounded him as he commanded the magic had faded, leaving him looking almost smaller… and drastically pale.</p><p> </p><p>“We should get going,” Arthur said, wanting Merlin back in Camelot as soon as possible so he could get some rest in a proper bed. He looked exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>The others moved to obey, but Merlin didn’t. He swayed unsteadily on the spot.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin?” Arthur asked, stepping closer.</p><p> </p><p>Blue eyes flicked in his direction, but Arthur was sure that Merlin was not seeing him properly. “Ar-thur…nngh… don’t think tha’ was such…a good… idea…”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“W… well… using… magic… using tha’ much… magic… all… once… takes a lot… out of me… on… on a good day… showing off… Gaius… tells me I shouldn’t… shouldn’t show off…”</p><p> </p><p>“Gaius knows?” Arthur interrupted, old habits flashing the thought through his mind that Gaius was harbouring a sorcerer and by the laws of Camelot such a crime was punishable by death.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin must have heard something in his tone because panic shot lucidity through him and he blurted, “Don’t hurt him! Please, sire, please don’t – don’t hurt – Gaius – don’t hurt Gaius…” He started gasping, hyperventilating, and although it didn’t seem possible his face lost even more colour.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t!” Arthur promised hurriedly. “He shall receive a pardon too, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded. “Ar-Arthur…?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think… I’m going to…”</p><p> </p><p>“To what?”</p><p> </p><p>But instead of finishing the sentence, Merlin collapsed.</p><p> </p><p>With reflexes borne on the battlefield, Arthur caught him before his body hit the ground and lowered him gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin?”</p><p> </p><p>But his servant was unconscious and didn’t respond.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the matter with him?” Gwaine asked, coming over and frowning at Arthur as though he were responsible.</p><p> </p><p>“He fainted,” Arthur explained, trying (and failing) not to sound as concerned as he felt.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s hurt,” Guinevere reminded them, and her voice was sharper than usual as she knelt down at Merlin’s side and began to dab at a bleeding gash on Merlin’s chest with a damp strip of fabric.</p><p> </p><p>In a moment of horror Arthur remembered that <em>he</em> had inflicted that wound. And the one on his cheek, and on his arm. But he hadn’t meant to do any serious damage; he had just been trying to make Merlin angry enough to strike out with his magic. The cuts were shallow enough that Merlin should have been fine.</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur had forgotten that Merlin was already injured. By the knights’ own confessions, he had suffered a brutal beating at their hands. Merlin’s shirt still lay discarded, so his battered torso was still clearly visible and Arthur couldn’t believe how stupid he was to have ignored the evidence of serious injury right in front of him. As though the severe bruising wasn’t enough, there was reason to suspect that a couple of his ribs were broken and Arthur had just added to it by attacking Merlin with a sword.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t pretend to know anything about sorcery, but from what Merlin had said he could assume that wielding magic took a lot of strength and wasn’t a particularly advisable activity to engage in when hurt. But Arthur had made him do it. And now Merlin had passed out. Small mercies that he was still alive.</p><p> </p><p>“We have to get him back to Gaius,” Arthur said. “He’ll know what to do. He’ll make him better.” And then maybe all of them could stop feeling so damn guilty.</p><p> </p><p>They made it back to Camelot in record time, Guinevere supporting Merlin’s unconscious form in front of her with the rationale that she was the lightest and so her horse would not be too overburdened. In truth, it had more to do with the fact that she was the only one who hadn’t harmed him and didn’t fear breaking him with the slightest touch.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin!” Gaius exclaimed as Arthur burst into the physician’s chambers with Merlin limp in his arms. Guinevere couldn’t be expected to carry him, so the task had fallen to Arthur and he just had to hope that he wasn’t making things worse. “My boy – what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a long story,” Arthur replied evasively, realising that Gaius would not take kindly to the news.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius flashed a glare at him for his reticence, but concentrated on tending to his ward. “I would like to know, sire,” he said in a deceptively mild tone as he worked. “The boy is in my care, after all. And I would know how best to treat him if I knew the cause of his injuries.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur still didn’t say anything. He thought it would be easier on the old man if he heard it from a Merlin who was whole and healthy.</p><p> </p><p>“He looks to have been badly beaten,” Gaius prompted. “And these lacerations… I would say that they were inflicted by an expert swordsman intent on causing him pain but ensuring he lived to suffer it.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur looked away, ashamed by his actions. He should have given Merlin the benefit of the doubt, but just as Merlin had grown up keeping his magic a secret, Arthur had grown up learning that magic was evil and people who used magic could not be trusted.</p><p> </p><p>“Sire?”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius had a right to know.</p><p> </p><p>“The beating occurred while the Lamia had the knights under her control,” he explained cautiously.</p><p> </p><p>The infamous eyebrow rose and Gaius shot a look at his ward. “Merlin didn’t tell me they had hurt him! The broken ribs could have punctured his lung, foolish boy! He should have had treatment immediately! Why didn’t he tell me at Longstead?”</p><p> </p><p>“I believe he did not wish the knights to feel any guiltier than they already did. They are truly repentant, Gaius, though they are not entirely at fault.”</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed,” Gaius agreed, but Arthur could tell that he was angry. Arthur had felt the same when he found out. Enchantment or no, he had expected better from his most trusted knights. They had been sent to protect Merlin, and instead they had brought him harm. If it was not for Arthur’s own actions he would have had each of them in the stocks for hurting Merlin like that. But he bore far more guilt, because he did not even have the excuse of an enchantment.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur lost his nerve. “We were on our way back when he fainted, so we hurried home with him.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius pinned him with one of those <em>looks</em> and Arthur experienced for a moment what it must be like for Merlin to live with this man. Nothing seemed to get by him. “You said it was a long story, sire. There must be more to it than that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Um, well, ah…” His childhood tutors would have slapped him on the wrist for such unrefined speech, but this wasn’t an easy admission. “He was sleeping, and I shook him to, you know, wake him up. Because he wasn’t waking up, even when I called him. And he… he pushed me away.” He sucked in a deep breath. “With magic.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius’s eyes flared with raw panic for a split second before he closed off his expression. “Sire, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation-”</p><p> </p><p>“There is. Merlin has magic. The evidence was irrefutable, and he admitted it.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius couldn’t disguise the fear anymore as his hand tightened around Merlin’s arm and his knuckles turned white. “So you have returned him here for his execution.” The ‘<em>and mine’</em> went unsaid, but Arthur could tell that Gaius was thinking it.</p><p> </p><p>“I was angry,” Arthur admitted. “The cuts you see… I was the one who inflicted them, and I was going to have him beheaded on the spot-”</p><p> </p><p>The old man’s breath hitched.</p><p> </p><p>“-but the knights intervened, and through their words and Merlin’s actions I was led to see reason. Merlin has nothing to fear from me as long as he remains loyal to Camelot. And neither do you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are not going to banish us?” Gaius asked, too cautious to be relieved just yet.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur smiled a little. “What would I do without my manservant and my court physician? No, I’m afraid both of you will have to stay here.”</p><p> </p><p>“And Merlin? Will you force him to give up his magic?”</p><p> </p><p>To be honest, the idea hadn’t even occurred to him. He considered it for a moment and decided that it just didn’t sit right with him, half-baked measure that it was. It was execution or acceptance, and he had chosen the latter. “Well the laws didn’t stop Merlin before, so I don’t know what I could do to stop him now. He never listens to me.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you demanded it of him, sire…”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to,” Arthur assured him gently. “He said he was born with magic?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire,” Gaius confirmed, still with that slight beat of hesitation. “His mother tells me that he was levitating objects with his mind before he could even walk or talk. It is as natural to him as breathing or blinking is to you and I.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur tried to picture a raven-haired baby making objects fly around Hunith’s home and it would have been funny if he hadn’t known the fear that Merlin’s mother must have felt for her son. “I can’t ask him to give it up then, can I?” he reasoned. “It could kill him.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur meant it as a joke, but Gaius nodded sombrely. “Very possibly, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t know how to respond to that.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius returned to cleaning Merlin’s wounds but after a few moments he looked up at Arthur thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>“What you are saying, sire, is that you are going to allow Merlin to continue using his magic?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur shrugged. “I suppose. There are a few… complications that will need to be worked out,” such as the laws banning magic and the widespread prejudice in Camelot against sorcerers, “but as long as Merlin uses discretion and brings no harm to my kingdom, his magic will be permitted.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius gave him one last searching look before his lips twitched into a smile. “Then, with your permission sire, I will give Merlin a potion to wake him up so he can help heal himself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin can use his magic to heal people?” Arthur asked in wonder.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, although I have to admit it is not his greatest talent. Healing Gwen’s father was one of the few times he got it right with his first go, without any instruction from me or the – or someone else.”</p><p> </p><p>“Gwen’s father? Merlin was the one who cured Gwen’s father? He was actually telling the <em>truth</em>?!” He remembered Merlin bursting into the council chambers, claiming culpability for the crime Guinevere had been arrested for, but Arthur had just laughed it off as the ridiculous notion it was… or wasn’t, as it turned out.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, although I am very grateful that you convinced Uther not to believe him. You saved his life.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur wondered if, had he known that Merlin was telling the truth, he would have done the same thing to protect him. Back then, probably not. But their friendship had grown a lot since then. Even so, Arthur had nearly executed Merlin mere hours ago, so it was no wonder that Merlin had never again dared to tell him the truth, inasmuch as it hurt to think that Merlin hadn’t trusted him.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius retrieved a small vial from his stores and coaxed Merlin to swallow it.</p><p> </p><p>At first, nothing happened. Merlin, Arthur reflected, was one stubborn sleeper. No wonder he was late to work so often.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius lightly slapped him on his uninjured cheek to speed up the waking process and Arthur suddenly remembered how the last attempt to wake Merlin had ended up.</p><p> </p><p>“Gaius, I don’t think that is such a good-”</p><p> </p><p>He saw the slight twitch in Merlin’s facial muscles and reacted, seizing Gaius by his tunic and yanking him down to the floor, flattening them both just as a violent concussion shook the air over their heads. There was the sound of shattering glass and the clatter of miscellaneous objects hitting the wall, then a gasp sounded from the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“G-Gaius?”</p><p> </p><p>Figuring that the danger had passed, Arthur stood and helped Gaius to his feet. The physician dusted himself off and scowled down at his ward.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Merlin!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t mean to!” Merlin blurted, sitting up with a groan and surveying with dismay the destruction he had inadvertently caused. “I’m sorry – are you alright?” He looked to Arthur, blue eyes earnest with apology and concern.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Arthur said dryly. “I’m a fast learner.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever were you thinking, boy?” Gaius asked, sounding every bit the annoyed father figure. “You could have blasted both of us into the wall hard enough to break bones if the king hadn’t acted so fast.”</p><p> </p><p>Guilt and distress flooded Merlin’s features. “I don’t know what’s happening to me! My magic has never acted like this before, Gaius, I don’t know what’s wrong with it!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin sounded almost frightened, and Arthur felt a stirring of unease. “Aren’t sorcerers supposed to have control over their magic and not the other way around?”</p><p> </p><p>“Usually, sire,” Gaius answered, “but by strict definition Merlin is not a sorcerer. He’s a warlock. His magic operates on an instinctual basis. It is only through training, practice and discipline that he is able to contain and control it.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s brow wrinkled. “So… what you’re saying is… What are you saying?”</p><p> </p><p>“The fact that Merlin is a warlock may have some bearing in this situation.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?” Merlin asked, giving Arthur the impression that, despite being born to it, Merlin knew less about magic than Gaius did. He was probably learning more from his mentor than just the work of a physician, which explained why those books of magic had been found in their quarters.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt anger rise up in him again; he did <em>not</em> like being deceived by the people closest to him, even if they did have a good reason. He pushed the feeling aside, resolving to grill Gaius about Merlin’s so-called heroics later so the thought of Merlin’s magic would bring up positive emotions rather than this confused mess.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure,” Gaius replied. “Merlin, when you were… attacked… by the knights-” Merlin flinched unconsciously and Arthur unknowingly mirrored him, hating that the Lamia had caused Merlin to have reason to fear his own friends, “-did you use magic to defend yourself against them?”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Merlin sounded offended by the very idea. “Of course not!”</p><p> </p><p>“Did you want to?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. I could never hurt any of them, unless…” he looked down and mumbled quickly, “unlesstheyweregoingtohurtArthur.” He flushed at the admission and wouldn’t meet Arthur’s gaze.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t comment because, honestly, he had no idea what to say. Merlin had allowed himself to be beaten to a pulp rather than bring harm to the knights he had befriended, his loyalty to them stronger than his will for self-preservation, their lives placed above his. But Merlin had just admitted, too, that if it was a choice between them and Arthur, he would choose Arthur without hesitation. Arthur knew how close Merlin and Gwaine were, and was ashamed to admit that at times Gwaine was a far better friend to his servant than Arthur himself was, and yet if it came right down to it, if Merlin had to choose, he would choose Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Coughing over the bubble of sappy sentimentalism that had expanded rapidly between the two younger men with just those few words, Gaius continued, “That may be, Merlin, but surely when your life was in peril your magic would have reacted automatically.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s eyes glazed over for a moment and he shuddered, as though reliving the moment when the knights had been trying to kill him. Arthur wished he could go back in time to that moment and rush in to protect his friend from suffering such an ordeal. He should have been there. He shouldn’t have let Merlin go off alone. He should have-</p><p> </p><p>“When Leon’s boot slammed into my ribs,” Merlin said quietly, “it felt like my chest was caving in. I couldn’t breathe. It hurt, god, it hurt so much, and they wouldn’t stop. I knew they wouldn’t stop. I felt the magic flooding through my veins, filling me with power enough to fight back. But I just couldn’t do that to them. I wouldn’t. So I pushed the magic back, refusing to let it out even if the effort to suppress it killed me.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt a deep chill at the retelling, imagining the terror that Merlin must have felt, imagining the strength of will it must have taken not to lash out in his own defence. “How did you escape?” he found himself asking.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shrugged, and then winced as the movement pained him. “I pretended to pass out, and when they stepped back to get a better look at their handiwork, I ran.” He paled, and his next words were barely above a whisper. “They chased me.”</p><p> </p><p>There was a minute of silence as Merlin’s slim frame trembled. Gaius squeezed his hand, offering wordless support and the best attempt at comfort he could give.</p><p> </p><p>“So if you could hold back the magic then,” Arthur said finally, trying to prevent himself from pulling Merlin into a hug and never letting him go, “why couldn’t you when Gaius and I tried to wake you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” Merlin said miserably.</p><p> </p><p>“But don’t you see, Merlin? That’s what must have caused it,” Gaius said. How was it that this man always seemed to have the answers? “You didn’t let your magic protect you when it was needed most, and now in an effort to keep you alive it is overreacting to every small thing that could possibly be a threat to you. It can’t have helped that the lines between friend and foe were blurred when the knights turned on you; maybe your magic can no longer distinguish between the two and is not willing to take the risk with your life by failing to stop a potential assailant wearing the guise of a friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“I nearly executed him,” Arthur pointed out, trying to ignore the now-familiar squirm of guilt. “That was a pretty obvious threat and his magic didn’t do anything about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was holding it in with every ounce of strength I had left,” Merlin told him. “I swore never to hurt you, and I wasn’t about to let my magic break my word.”</p><p> </p><p>“There you have it then,” Gaius concluded. “You were consciously and vehemently holding back the magic during that – incident.” He glared at Arthur for a moment, but let it pass. “When you are not, it acts of its own accord.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin stared at his mentor in dismay. “But Gaius, restraining it like that, locking it away in the deepest part of my mind and keeping the door barricaded is <em>exhausting</em>. I can’t keep it up all day every day!”</p><p> </p><p>“We must hope that as the trauma fades your magic will settle back under your normal level of control. And sooner, rather than later.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur rubbed at his aching head. He had no idea this magic business was so complicated. How did Merlin deal with it on top of all his other responsibilities to Arthur and to Gaius? The poor lad had to be running himself ragged, and everything had just become harder for him.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded tiredly, one of his frail arms unconsciously slipping around his battered torso in an attempt to hold back the pain his ribs had to be causing him. Arthur didn’t think he had ever seen the younger man looking so forlorn.</p><p> </p><p>“Your magic wants to protect you, right?” Arthur said rhetorically. “So you might have to keep it in some of the time, but right now your body has a lot of healing to do. Gaius mentioned that your magic might be able to help with that.  That would come under the banner of protecting you, wouldn’t it?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded uncertainly.</p><p> </p><p>“So let it out. Let it at least heal the injuries it couldn’t prevent.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure, Arthur?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was still uncertain, even after Arthur had sat through an entire conversation about magic with them without having either of them arrested.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. You’ve been in pain for far too long already.”</p><p> </p><p>“But Gaius, I don’t know how…”</p><p> </p><p>“Start with the spell <em>Gelácne</em> <em>þurhhælest innanwunda sárbenna,</em>” the physician instructed, “and I believe your magic will take it from there.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded, and repeated the strange words back with perfect accuracy. His eyes flashed gold.</p><p> </p><p>A blinding light engulfed his body, forcing both Gaius and Arthur to close their eyes tightly and turn away. The power emanating from Merlin was so palpable that Arthur could feel it humming under his skin, resonating throughout his body and soul. When it finally faded he missed it as though something dear had been torn from him, but then he remembered about Merlin and forced himself to focus back on his friend.</p><p> </p><p>He was relieved to see that Merlin’s skin was clear of bruises, his ribs (still visible because he was rather too thin even when he was healthy) seemed whole and unbroken, and not even the trace of scars remained from the gashes inflicted by Arthur’s blade. But Merlin was once again unconscious, and that concerned him.</p><p> </p><p>“No need to worry, sire,” Gaius said, reading his mind. “Merlin is going to be just fine. He is sleeping peacefully now. His body needs the rest, so we shall leave him to sleep until he wakes up on his own, when he is well and ready.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur nodded. “Thank you for looking after him, Gaius.”</p><p> </p><p>“My pleasure, sire,” Gaius responded cheerfully, and then his expression became serious as his eyes locked with Arthur’s for a long moment. “Thank you, Arthur, for accepting Merlin for who he is. You cannot even begin to understand how much that means to him.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered Merlin’s words in the moments before he thought he was to be killed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"All I ever wanted was your acceptance. If I cannot have that… then there is no point in living anyway.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Perhaps he couldn’t ever truly understand, but Merlin had given him a glimpse and it was all Arthur needed to see to know that he had made the right choice. Merlin would never need to fear his rejection again.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Returning to consciousness without immediately being assaulted by pain was an incredibly beautiful sensation that Merlin had once taken for granted. No longer. He revelled in the ability to shift and stretch out his muscles without feeling aches and bruises and screeching ribs. He luxuriated in the ability to run fingers through his hair without brushing over a blood-crusted bump that would send a jagged flash of fire through his skull. He treasured the moment when he stood up without being struck by a wave of dizziness and the fact that he could walk over to his cupboard without limping.</p><p> </p><p>It was a rare morning, too, when did not wake to either Gaius or Arthur yelling at him. So, despite the memories that lingered like shadows at the fringes of his thoughts, Merlin was able to pull on a bright smile and face the day ahead with his usual cheerfulness and optimism.</p><p> </p><p>He was surprised to find that Gaius was still sleeping. He felt the irrational urge, no doubt inspired by the fact that not long ago he had feared he would never see the man again, to wake up his mentor just so he could hug him tightly. He settled for quietly making breakfast for them instead, eating his own portion silently and slipping out of their chambers without disturbing him.</p><p> </p><p>He strolled leisurely through the quiet castle and picked up the King’s breakfast from the kitchens, merely smiling at the head cook when she commented that she had never seen him retrieve the meal on time before and heading on his way.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin felt… happy. If he didn’t let himself think too much, he could almost pretend that the Lamia incident had never happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Looks good,” a voice commented, and a hand darted into his line of sight. Before he could process the fact that the trajectory of the hand would result in the snatching of a freshly baked bread roll and not anything more nefarious, magic exploded out from him, slamming the offender into the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Fear nearly choked him. He had forgotten how unstable his magic was at the moment and belatedly rectified his mistake, seizing it in an iron grip and wrenching it back to where it could do no more harm. Only then did he warily turn to see who he had unintentionally attacked this time.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine groaned as he pushed himself to his feet. “Geez, Merlin, has any one every told you that your extreme over-protectiveness for the King’s food is a little strange?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin flushed. “Sorry, Gwaine. I didn’t mean to-”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine raised a hand to cut him off. “No harm done.” He moved to give Merlin a friendly pat on the shoulder, but Merlin was so focused on containing his magic that he couldn’t prevent himself from flinching away.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine stepped back, a pained expression in his eyes. “Merlin, I’m not going to hurt you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded. “I know. I know that. It’s fine, I’m sorry. I just – I have to go. Arthur doesn’t like it when I’m late with his breakfast.”</p><p> </p><p>Not giving the knight a chance to reply, Merlin fled.</p><p> </p><p>He slipped into Arthur’s chambers and closed the door behind him, leaning against it as he tried to regain his composure. He hated this. He <em>hated</em> this.</p><p> </p><p>He forced himself to calm his breathing and move back into the normal routine. He set Arthur’s plate on the table and pulled open the curtains. “Rise and shine!” he announced cheerfully.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mer</em>lin…” Arthur groaned, predictably. He moped and moaned about getting up almost every morning, sometimes necessitating being physically dragged out of bed.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin wasn’t expecting for Arthur, barely a few seconds later, to suddenly sit bolt upright. “Merlin!”</p><p> </p><p>He disguised the jolt of surprise as a trip over the table leg, knowing Arthur wouldn’t find anything odd about that. “Yes, sire, I know, it’s a miracle – I’m actually on time for once.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re awake!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin frowned at him. “Well I don’t think I’m sleepwalking.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been unconscious for two full days,” Arthur told him. “You had me – I mean, you had Gaius worried.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin smiled at this further piece of evidence that the king cared about him. “Well I’m thankful for the rest. I feel a lot better now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Enough to return to work?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin gave him a shrewd look. “That depends on whether ‘work’ includes mucking out the stables.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s lips twitched. “It does need doing…”</p><p> </p><p>“Then no, sire,” Merlin sighed regretfully, “I’m afraid I just don’t think I’m well enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm. And if I said that the stable boys could take care of it this time?”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I feel fine!” Merlin said brightly, and Arthur chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s plenty more work for you to be getting on with, you know. My chambers need cleaning-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin let a little of his magic trickle out, his eyes flashing gold. A few seconds later everything in the room had returned to its proper place, the fireplace was swept out and lit, and the floor was so clean it sparkled.</p><p> </p><p>He grinned at the slightly stunned look on his king’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur shook his head as though to clear it. “-my clothes need laundering-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin turned his gaze on the cupboard. The doors opened and magic rustled like wind through the garments within. “I think you’ll find they are already mended, cleaned and pressed, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“-my boots-”</p><p> </p><p>Another flash of gold. “Them too.”</p><p> </p><p>“-okay, well, my armour needs polishing-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked to the stack of armour in the corner and waved a hand in its direction. “There; it is probably shiny enough to blind your opponents now.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur stared at him, speechless, and there was something in his eyes… something that might have been awe. The King of Camelot was, however reluctantly, impressed with the work of his servant. It was the recognition Merlin had longed for, but what really made his heart swell with happiness was the fact that he could, at long last, share this part of his life with his best friend.</p><p> </p><p>“So I guess you have a natural talent after all,” Arthur said finally.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin grinned. “Yeah, I’m not completely useless.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s serious eyes pinned him. “I didn’t think you were before.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shrugged a little with embarrassment, but he didn’t really mind the open sentiment. “I know,” he mumbled, then offered one of his trade-mark grins to prompt Arthur’s eye roll and usual,</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, don’t look so pleased. You’ve just given me an excuse to give you even more work to do.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin pretended to look crestfallen, but Arthur had not objected to his use of magic to complete his chores so he didn’t really mind if he ended up with a few more tasks to do for his King. He enjoyed being useful.</p><p> </p><p>“But first, we have training. And Merlin… it might be better if you don’t use magic out in public just yet.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin did deflate then, feeling disappointment creep through him. He tried not to sound accusing. “You said you were going to lift the ban.”</p><p> </p><p>“And I will,” Arthur promised. “But it isn’t as simple as just standing up and making an announcement that magic is legal again. It will take time. I’m sure you understand that.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded. He had been hiding his secret for this long anyway; he supposed he could wait a little longer. For now, it was enough that Arthur knew and didn’t hate him for it.</p><p> </p><p>As he served Arthur breakfast and helped him to change into his armour, Merlin tried not to think about who it was that they were about to join on the training field, though the nausea squirming in his gut was hard to ignore. He just had to hope that Arthur would settle for having him lug the weapons around rather than making him the target. He didn’t know if he could handle having them come after him like that, after…</p><p> </p><p>He shivered.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t notice that Arthur had seen, or the concern that filled his gaze before his blue eyes hardened with determination to ensure that the knights suffered the toughest training session of their lives today.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin followed his king down to the field where the knights were already assembled, unconsciously hovering behind him for protection from the weight of their gazes. There was an awkward silence in place of the once easy camaraderie that had existed between them, a chasm of distance rent by violence and secrets. As hard as Merlin tried, he just couldn’t look at them the same way, and he suspected that their knowledge of his power made the same true in reverse.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, it’s good to see you well, Merlin,” Elyan eventually spoke up. He had been knocked out of Lamia’s little game early on, before the castle and everything that had happened there, so while he had not been kind and had been a little rough Merlin supposed he had less to feel awkward about.</p><p> </p><p>The others echoed the sentiment, and Merlin sensed that they were relieved that they had been saved from having to speak first.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” he replied. There was another pause.</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t a social club,” Arthur barked finally. “Merlin, I want all of those swords sharpened – the conventional way – by the time we’re finished here.”</p><p> </p><p>There were at least twenty swords on the rack Arthur indicated, all blunt and chipped from too many training duels, but sharpening them was a preferable task to being the moving target. Merlin was grateful he would be able to stay on the sidelines.</p><p> </p><p>“As for the rest of you,” Arthur continued, and his tone was considerably sharper, “Leon, you will be duelling against me. Gwaine and Elyan, pair up against Percival. We will rotate every fifteen minutes until each of you have challenged me. Then, we are going to try something different.”</p><p> </p><p>This time, Merlin didn’t miss the steely glare in Arthur’s eyes and, judging by the way Gwaine swallowed nervously and the others exchanged uneasy glances, the knights saw it too.</p><p> </p><p>As the knights moved into battle stances, Merlin settled down with a sword and a whetstone, watching the fights only infrequently.</p><p> </p><p>He discovered that he could pick out the distinctive ring of Arthur’s sword amongst the loud clashes of steel that echoed through the air, and he could also tell by the high frequency and volume of his blows that Arthur was in a bad mood.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until Arthur revealed his new training idea, however, that Merlin realised why.</p><p> </p><p>The excuse Arthur gave when laying down his new orders was that his men were skilled fighters when the odds were in their favour, but in the real world battles were not always so accommodating. As such, Arthur reasoned, they needed more practice in less than favourable conditions, and so today he would be pitting one against four.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin realised what Arthur was really doing, though, and when the knights glanced in his direction he guessed that they had worked it out as well. Arthur was forcing them to experience what it felt like to be ganged up on, as Merlin had been, and none of them dared to offer up any complaints.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin didn’t think that it was really the same, though. Not only were they soldiers who had both the weapons and the physical means to defend themselves, but they also knew that their lives were not in any real danger. This exercise would not make them feel the same terror and helplessness that he had; but then, he didn’t wish that experience on anyone, and he knew that the point would be made at least.</p><p> </p><p>One by one, each of the knights were defeated as they fought alone, coming out of it battered and bruised. They put up a better fight than Merlin had, but he reminded himself that it had been a conscious decision on his part and not a result of weakness or inadequacy.</p><p> </p><p>Once the knights had all been soundly beaten, Arthur finally allowed them to rest and nurse their wounds. He spoke to them in a low tone so Merlin couldn’t quite catch what was said unless he eavesdropped with magic, and he decided not to expend the energy. Arthur’s voice rose with his ire, though, and Merlin heard the end of his lecture.</p><p> </p><p>“…have let you off easy this time. But I swear, if anything like this happens again, if any of you ever dare to harm so much as a <em>single hair</em> on his head from this moment forward, you will answer to me. And there will not be enough of you left to feed the crows when I’m done with you. Understand?”</p><p> </p><p>There was no trace of humour in his tone or expression; he was deadly serious.</p><p> </p><p>As one, the knights bowed deeply and rumbled, “Yes, King Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur eyed them critically for a moment, then nodded and moved away.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you finished yet, Merlin?” he asked as he approached, sounding as though he fully expected the answer to be ‘no’.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin replaced the sword he had just been polishing on the rack and stood, stretching muscles that were still a bit tender. “Yes, sire,” he chirped, deciding not to comment on what had just transpired. He felt guilty for getting the knights into trouble, but at the same time he was grateful that Arthur cared enough to reprimand them. It made him feel… safer.</p><p> </p><p>Nevertheless, he tensed when the knights, after conferring quietly together at the other side of the training field, walked (or, in some cases, limped) towards them. Arthur pursed his lips and surreptitiously moved closer to his side.</p><p> </p><p>When they were still three yards away the knights stopped. Simultaneously they dropped to their knees with a clatter of armour and bowed their heads almost to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s lips parted slightly in surprise as he looked down on them. They weren’t – they couldn’t be – bowing to <em>him</em>, could they? Surely not; he was just a lowly servant…</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Sir Leon began, “we have grievously wronged you. Sent with you as your protectors, we instead brought you harm. We have failed in our duty, forsaken the code that governs our actions as Knights of the Realm, and betrayed one of our truest friends. We offer our deepest apologies in full knowledge that they are not nearly enough to make up for what we have done, and beg for your forgiveness in full knowledge that we are wholly undeserving.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but they weren’t finished.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Percival said, “I have always sworn to use my strength to defend the innocent and bring those who would hurt them to justice. But in this I am the one who is guilty, and you would be well within your rights to exact vengeance upon me. I apologise from the depths of my heart, and place myself at your mercy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Elyan said, “while all you have ever been to my family is a friend, I have been inexcusably cruel to you through my words and actions. Even as we treated you appallingly, you worked to protect us, and even more importantly you protected my sister. I am indebted to you, and swear that I will do all within my power to repay that debt… although I fear I will never be able to entirely.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Gwaine started. His voice broke, and he tried again. “Merlin… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I cannot ask your forgiveness, because I will never be able to forgive myself for hurting you. You were the first true friend I ever had, and you changed me from a hopeless, drunk drifter to a man whose life actually has purpose. I owe you everything, but I betrayed you. I used to scorn noblemen who treated their servants like slaves, and then I turned around and treated you the same way. As if that were not betrayal enough, I… I <em>attacked</em> you. And I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry, Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin found that his breathing had become unsteady, and tears wavered at the corner of his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys didn’t mean any of it, right?” he asked softly.</p><p> </p><p>Their words echoed in his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>You dare to question our judgment? You are not a knight! You're not even a physician! You're nothing but a servant!”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“We've no interest in your opinion. So keep your mouth shut, or I'll shut it for you.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re not going anywhere.” </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He knew that they hadn’t been in control of themselves when they spoke to him that way, but a part of him had wondered whether her influence had led them to reveal what they truly thought of him. After all, what reason did they have to think that he <em>was</em> anything more than a servant?</p><p> </p><p>It had hurt though. He had hoped he meant more to them than that; he hoped that they were friends, even though they were the equivalent of noblemen and he was about as far down the social ladder from them as a person could get. Before, they had treated him almost as an equal, but Lamia had shattered what might have been an illusion all along.</p><p> </p><p>It scared him to ask, but he had to.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course we didn’t!” Leon assured him, and the others echoed his words.</p><p> </p><p>Some of the tension he had been feeling in their presence slipped away. “Okay,” Merlin said quietly. “Then I forgive you. It’s not like it was your fault anyway. She had you all under a powerful spell that no man – without magic of his own – could resist. I don’t blame you…” He shifted uncomfortably. “So you can, uh, stand up now. Please?”</p><p> </p><p>They did, wearing mixed expressions of guilt, relief and gratitude. Gwaine made to step forward, but Merlin’s magic flared – he barely managed to restrain it, lifting a hand in warning for Gwaine to stay back.</p><p> </p><p>“But,” Merlin continued reluctantly, “what my mind and heart forgives is not so easy for my body and magic to forget. It’s going to take time. I don’t want to hurt you guys, so could you just… give me some space, for a little while?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine retreated, his eyes sorrowful but understanding, too.</p><p> </p><p>“It shall be as you say,” Sir Leon spoke for the knights. “Again we apologise, Merlin. Thank you for showing us mercy.”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded, but decided it was high time the topic was changed. This was making him feel awkward and uncomfortable. “You should go to see Gaius and get your wounds treated,” he told them. “Unless… Arthur, do you want me to heal them, using…?”</p><p> </p><p>The king had remained silent until that point, but now he shook his head. “No, that will not be necessary. You are all dismissed to the physician.”</p><p> </p><p>The knights dipped their heads in respectful acquiescence and left the field.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin breathed a sigh of relief, finally relaxing. He slackened his grip on his magic a bit, too, though he knew he couldn’t let go altogether.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Arthur,” he exhaled finally, glancing at his friend.</p><p> </p><p>“For what?” Arthur responded gruffly.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin smiled at him. There were many things he could say, but he knew with Arthur he didn’t need to. “Nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Having sent Merlin off with a list of chores to do, Arthur approached his uncle’s chambers and knocked on the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Enter,” came the response.</p><p> </p><p>When Arthur did as he was bidden, Agravaine looked up from a stack of papers on his writing desk and smiled. “Ah, Arthur. What can I do for you?”</p><p> </p><p>“There is a matter I wish to discuss with you, uncle, if you are not too busy?”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine gestured him to a chair. “I am never too busy for you, Arthur, you know that. What is it you wish to discuss?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have made the decision to change one of the laws laid down by my father, and I need your help to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” Agravaine looked curious and wary at the same time.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur took a deep breath. He had made a promise to Merlin, and he intended to keep it, but this was a delicate situation. He knew the advice of his uncle would be invaluable, but he would first have to convince the man that this was the correct course of action to take, and given that magic had caused the death of his sister Agravaine was not likely to be easily persuaded.</p><p> </p><p>“I intend to lift the ban… on magic,” Arthur announced, and braced himself.</p><p> </p><p>Shock registered on Agravaine’s face for a moment, and then he was protesting. “Sire! Forgive me, but are you mad? You of all people should understand the reason, no, the <em>need</em> for the laws against magic!”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand why my father believed they were necessary, however-”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, your mother was killed by magic,” Agravaine reminded him.</p><p> </p><p>An echo of grief stirred in his heart for the mother he had never known. “I have not forgotten, uncle.”</p><p> </p><p>“And she is not the only one,” Agravaine persisted. “Camelot has been attacked and besieged by those with magic time and again. Hundreds of Camelot’s citizens have lost their lives to sorcery. Your own <em>father</em> was murdered by a sorcerer. The people live in fear of the constant threat magic holds over them; the law and the will to uphold it is all that keeps them safe. You were not alive in the days before the Great Purge, Arthur. You cannot imagine the chaos and destruction that rampaged across the kingdom when sorcerers were allowed to roam free.”</p><p> </p><p>The arguments sounded similar those Arthur himself had made when he was yelling at Merlin, thinking him to be evil for the magic he was born with. “You are right, uncle. Magic, in the hands of evil people, has brought great harm to my people in the past. I do not deny it. But I have come to realise that there are also good people who have been gifted with magic, and they do not deserve to be hunted and slaughtered when they have not, in fact, done anything wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine laughed a little, sounding unconvinced. “I am sorry, sire, but I have never met a ‘good’ sorcerer.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur nodded. “Because they live in hiding. These are people who, despite how this kingdom has treated their kind, do not seek vengeance or retribution, but rather try to live in peace and harmony with the people of Camelot. Indeed, these people have even used their magic to help others.”</p><p> </p><p>“What proof have you that such people exist?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur thought of Merlin; so powerful, yet humble enough to be the manservant to a king; living in fear of being caught, but using magic to protect Arthur and Camelot despite the risk. “I met one,” he replied simply. “He has helped me to see how misguided I have been. For years he worked from the shadows, keeping me and my kingdom safe, never expecting any praise or recognition for his deeds. I owe him my life several times over, as do the people of Camelot. He has shown me that not all magic, and not all sorcerers, are evil.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine frowned. “Who is this sorcerer?”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, he calls himself a warlock,” Arthur corrected automatically. Then he smiled, almost amused by the thought of providing his uncle with this nigh-unbelievable revelation. “And you already know him. It’s Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine stared at him as though he had lost his mind. “As in your manservant? That Merlin?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” Arthur confirmed. “It turns out that the idiot was born with magic, but he came to Camelot anyway. He said something about it being his destiny to protect me?”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine’s eyes widened, and he gasped out a word that Arthur didn’t quite register. “<em>Emrys?</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Arthur asked, distracted by the memory of Merlin saying <em>“Destinies… are troublesome things.”</em> The servant had sounded so wise and knowledgeable about the topic, yet Arthur had believed him when he claimed he had simply read about it in a book. How much else had Arthur allowed to slip past him over the years? A lot, apparently.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, nothing, sire,” Agravaine assured him, and Arthur let it go. “You are sure that Merlin has magic?”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely. I saw it with my own eyes.” <em>And felt it, too,</em> he thought ruefully; his back was still bruised from where he had struck the tree. “Finding out was a shock, but things actually make more sense this way. We have faced so many threats that should have long since spelled our doom, but somehow, miraculously, we escaped time and again with our kingdom intact.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur thought about it, then, and pieces began to fall into place. The Griffin that could only be killed by magic, felled while Arthur was unconscious by a man who refused to accept credit for the deed. A deadly bite from the Questing Beast, which was supposed to be impossible to heal, that Arthur had recovered from. The threat of Cornelius Sigan, whose spirit returned from the dead to bring destruction to Camelot but, once their defences had crumbled and all hope seemed lost, had been mysteriously defeated. Conveniently timed trips, falling branches, spontaneous fires, and collapsing ruins that tipped the balance of a fight in his favour or facilitated a quick escape. The Knights of Medrir, who could not be killed, collapsing unexpectedly at Arthur’s feet through no action of his own. The Great Dragon, who seemed impervious to weaponry and could only be controlled by a Dragonlord, flying away to die after Arthur had supposedly struck him and been promptly knocked out. And immortal soldiers, vanishing into nothingness in the midst of a pitched battle. All of these, and possibly more instances that Arthur had no knowledge of or simply did not remember.</p><p> </p><p>He should not have survived. Camelot should have fallen.</p><p> </p><p>But they were still here, and before now Arthur had not had any true explanation for why that was. A part of him had whimsically attributed the saves he could not understand to an unknown ‘Guardian Angel’. Except, now he knew. It was Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>“Magic has been protecting us all along,” he exhaled wonderingly. He shook himself out of his thoughts, returning to the matter at hand. “And that is why I intend to make its use legal once more.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire…” Agravaine ventured, “I fear you are making a hasty decision. You want to change twenty-five years of history – based on the word of a boy, a <em>servant,</em> who has been lying to you from the moment you met?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s eyes hardened. “I trust Merlin. He has never been anything but loyal, and he has proven himself to be a true friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine dipped his head slightly. “Of course, my lord. I did not mean to cause offence. But still, sire, I must caution against doing anything too rash. If you lift the ban on magic, sorcerers could take advantage of your leniency and tear this land apart.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur shook his head. “Not so, Agravaine. The laws against treason, against murder, against assault, and against the abuse of power will still stand. If a sorcerer uses magic towards evil ends, they shall bear punishment for their crimes. If, however, a sorcerer uses magic to heal and to help people, they will be permitted to do so without fear of unjust accusations and punishments. I had thought that people could be assessed by an expert and legally licenced to perform magic. They would be carefully policed, but they would also have a measure of freedom.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine appeared resigned. “I see you have thought much about this, Arthur, and you will not be dissuaded.”</p><p> </p><p>“So you will help me? This will not be an easy transition for the people, but I know that with your assistance it will go much smoother.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, Arthur. You can count on me.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Uncle. I don’t know what I would do without you.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Agravaine burst into the hovel without even pausing his headlong rush to knock properly. “MORGANA!”</p><p> </p><p>An invisible force slammed him back against the wall, Morgana’s eyes flaring gold before she realised who he was and released the magic.</p><p> </p><p>He dropped to his knees, gasping for breath.</p><p> </p><p>The beautiful young woman glared at him without sympathy. “I thought I told you to never sneak up on me like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am sorry, my lady, but I have urgent news.”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur is dead?” Morgana asked hopefully.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, no, but I know you will find the information I have for you most pleasing.”</p><p> </p><p>She settled back into a chair, waving a dismissive hand. “Get on with it.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine smiled. “I know who Emrys is.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana paused and then slowly sat up straighter, eyes fixed unblinkingly on him. “What did you just say?”</p><p> </p><p>“I know who Emrys is,” Agravaine repeated, the excitement nearly making him tremble. It had been all he could do to keep himself from exploding when Arthur oh-so-casually revealed the identity of Emrys without even realising the significance. “Not only <em>who,</em> but where as well. He has been hiding in plain sight all along and he is not an old man as we had thought. It must have been a disguise.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who?” Morgana demanded. “Who is it?”</p><p> </p><p>His smile widened. It gave him much pride and joy to be able to give Morgana the answers she had so long been searching for. He knew he had disappointed her in the past but this would make up for all of it. “Emrys,” he said slowly, “is none other than Arthur’s manservant.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana launched herself to her feet, shock and fury flaring in her eyes. “<em>MERLIN?!”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>At her shriek of outrage, every object of glass in the hovel shattered. A shard nicked Agravaine’s arm as it whistled past, drawing a line of blood, but he was more terrified by the expression on Morgana’s face. He backed away from her slightly.</p><p> </p><p>She sucked in a breath, trying to calm herself, but he could tell she was still seething. “<em>Merlin,</em>” she hissed. “That idiotic, meddlesome <em>fool</em>! <em>He</em> is <em>Emrys?</em> All this time, it was <em>him?</em> He has <em>magic?</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine didn’t know if she was actually talking to him, but he replied anyway. “Yes, my lady.”</p><p> </p><p>“But <em>of course</em> he does!” Morgana exclaimed, beginning to pace. “How could I have been so blind? All those times he <em>thwarted </em>us! All those times our carefully laid plans failed when no mortal should have been able to stop us. He was always <em>right there</em> no matter what was happening, always in the wrong place at the wrong time, always at Arthur’s side even when his job did not require it. I should have <em>known</em> he was not the bumbling, incompetent, simple peasant boy he seemed to be.”</p><p> </p><p>“He had us all fooled,” Agravaine soothed her. “Including Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>She stopped and looked at him, as if noticing his presence for the first time. “Arthur,” she mused. Her expression became calculating. “If he were to somehow find out, he could solve this problem for us.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana was going to be less pleased about this particular piece of news, but he couldn’t very well keep it from her. “Arthur already knows,” Agravaine informed her reluctantly. “He just found out.”</p><p> </p><p>She smirked. “When is the execution? I want to watch Merlin <em>burn.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“There is not going to be one. Arthur knows, and he does not care. In fact, he has changed his entire stance on magic. He intends to make it legal in Camelot once again.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana blanched. “Because of a <em>serving boy?</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“It seems that way,” Agravaine said heavily. If he did not already despise Arthur for his role in Igraine’s death, Arthur’s own actions and choices would serve to eradicate any confidence Agravaine may have had in his ability to rule the kingdom. Courting a <em>maidservant</em> in public, knighting mere <em>commoners</em> and selecting them to be a part of his inner circle, and considering a <em>serving boy</em> to be his closest friend and adviser? The young king was a fool. “I tried to talk him out of it, but apparently Arthur is even more fond of the boy than we realised. He is not angered by the betrayal; he just espouses the boy’s virtues and deeds as though he were some sort of hero.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana scowled. “He makes me <em>sick</em>. He condemns me for my magic, yet praises Merlin for his? This is worse hypocrisy than his willingness to use magic to heal Uther. Arthur is despicable!”</p><p> </p><p>“I could not agree more, my lady. What are we going to do?”</p><p> </p><p>After a moment, a sly smile curved her lips. “If Arthur will not kill Merlin, then we shall do it for him,” she said. “And once Emrys is dead, there will be no one to stand in our way.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Gwen strolled down the hallway with a bundle of newly-bought cloth in her arms. She had returned to being a seamstress almost full-time since she was no longer the handmaiden of Lady Morgana, although Arthur had assured her that she did not need to work; he would make sure she did not want for anything. Nevertheless, Gwen was not accustomed to being idle and she did enjoy sewing, so she had decided to fashion dresses and other articles of clothing to sell and pay her own way, at least for now.</p><p> </p><p>Having experienced too many spills in these corridors by not looking where she was going and bumping into people, Gwen was actually paying attention to her surroundings. It was a good thing, too, since Merlin clearly wasn’t as he came barrelling around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Gwen greeted him cheerfully, neatly side-stepping so as to avoid becoming a casualty of his clumsiness.</p><p> </p><p>She had to supress the urge to giggle as Merlin, caught by surprise, skipped a step and stumbled, but managed to regain his balance at the last moment and stopped, turning to look at her. His face was red with embarrassment. “Oh, hi, Gwen. Sorry, I didn’t see you.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s alright. I haven’t seen you around much in the past few days; how are you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine.” He gestured vaguely to his body. “All better.”</p><p> </p><p>“Amazing,” Gwen exhaled, remembering all too vividly the terrible injuries that had covered her friend only a few days ago. “Arthur told me you were able to heal yourself. That’s… incredible.”</p><p> </p><p>His head tilted to the side. “It doesn’t scare you?”</p><p> </p><p>“It did at first,” she admitted. “When I saw you use magic to toss Arthur like a ragdoll, all I could think about was Morgana and how her magic had turned her against us. But you’re nothing like her. She chose the path of hatred and bitterness, and she uses her power to hurt people. You, on the other hand, use yours to help and protect people. That makes all the difference in the world.”</p><p> </p><p>“So it doesn’t bother you?”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head and smiled. “No. You’re still the same old Merlin to me. And to be honest, I’m glad that Arthur has someone like you to look after him. I just… I wish you had trusted me enough to tell me.” They had been friends for years and Gwen had thought that she knew him, only to discover that he had been hiding who he really was from her the whole time.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked down, scuffing his shoe against the floor. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I didn’t trust you. If you had known what I am it would have put you in danger. You know what Uther was like; he would have branded you a co-conspirator if he ever found out and I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you because of me. Besides, I couldn’t expect you to lie to Arthur for me. This was a secret I had to keep on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwen nodded. “I understand, Merlin. You did what you had to. At least I know now, right?”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled at her. “Yeah. You wouldn’t believe how much of a relief it is not to have to hide anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can imagine,” Gwen sympathised. She remembered how terrified she had felt when she had been accused of using magic and was sentenced to death, even though she had known she was innocent. She shuddered slightly at the recalling. “You must have lived in fear every day. And it had to have been so lonely to not be able to share this huge part of your life with anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was, sometimes,” Merlin confessed quietly, his blue eyes shadowed with supressed emotion. But he pulled a bright expression onto his face. “That’s all behind me now, though.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is,” Gwen agreed. She nudged him playfully. “So… can you show me some of what you can do?”</p><p> </p><p>He grinned cheekily and his eyes flashed gold. For a moment Gwen wondered what he had done, then she felt a slight tug on her hair and realised it was sticking straight up and waving around as though there was a breeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin!” she squawked indignantly, trying in vain to pat it back down.</p><p> </p><p>He laughed. “Sorry.” His eyes turned gold again and her hair settled neatly around her shoulders.  “To make up for it-” he cupped his hands together and a moment later opened them to reveal a beautiful purple flower. He bowed lightly and presented it to her. “My lady.”</p><p> </p><p>Amazed that magic could create such beauty, Gwen tucked it carefully into her curls. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked around for inspiration and his eyes lighted upon a detailed tapestry on the wall that depicted a great hero in battle. He murmured a few words and Gwen watched in awe as the scene came to life. Horses galloped across the landscape, weapons glinted in the sunlight, capes and standards blew back in the wind, tiny figures crashed and clashed in conflict. Before charging into the melee, the handsome hero thrust his sword into the air and gave a cry; Gwen had witnessed Arthur do the same thing many times, calling out “For the love of Camelot!” to embolden his knights and remind them why they fought. The movements all appeared so life-like it seemed that Gwen was watching the real thing from a distant balcony. It was the most stunning piece of art she had ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” she exhaled, “that’s-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Magic!” </em>someone shrieked.</p><p> </p><p>They both whirled around, the gold in Merlin’s eyes fading to be replaced by panic. He looked ready to bolt.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, it’s alright,” Gwen said quickly. “I’ll talk to her. You’re not going to get into any trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded but Gwen wasn’t sure he had heard her. She left him reluctantly, shooing him back to Gauis before moving to talk to the maid. The woman was new to employ in the castle but Gwen had met her a few times and helped to show her the ropes of her new job.</p><p> </p><p>“Margaret, calm down. It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>She pointed a shaking finger to the tapestry, on the verge of hysteria. “The picture was moving; I saw it! It was magic! There is a <em>sorcerer in the castle!</em> We have to call the guards and inform the king and-”</p><p> </p><p>“I need you to listen to me, Margaret,” Gwen said sternly. The woman stopped babbling and blinked in surprise at her authoritative tone (Gwen had adapted it from listening to Arthur). “I am about to let you in on a state secret you must swear that you will not share with anyone, understand?”</p><p> </p><p>Margaret nodded dumbly.</p><p> </p><p>“King Arthur is soon going to change the laws on magic.”</p><p> </p><p>The woman gasped but Gwen silenced her with a raised hand and continued, “The man you saw was Merlin, trusted manservant to the King, and the King has given his permission for Merlin to practice magic. You have nothing to fear from him; he has sworn his loyalty to Camelot and his magic will hurt no one. However, you must promise not to tell anyone what you saw until King Arthur makes his announcement to the people. Is that clear?”</p><p> </p><p>The woman curtsied. “Yes, ma’am.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Ma’am?</em> When had she become a woman who deserved to be treated with such respect? The answer was fairly obvious, though; right about the time Arthur started to outwardly display his feelings and intention to court her. How strange it would be if, one day, he asked her to marry him and she became queen of Camelot. It was a far cry from being a mere servant in the royal household, but Gwen swore to herself that she would never forget where she had come from.</p><p> </p><p>“Return to your duties,” Gwen advised her. “And don’t think too much on this. It will all work out for the good of the kingdom; you must trust in King Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>The woman curtsied again, threw one last suspicious look at the tapestry and turned away to go back to her work.</p><p> </p><p>“Guinevere?” Lord Agravaine’s voice came from behind her. “Is there a problem?”</p><p> </p><p>She turned to him with a smile, although for some reason she always had an uneasy feeling when he was around. “No, my lord. It is taken care of.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? You know I am here to help if you need it, Guinevere.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, I appreciate that, but it is fine, really.”</p><p> </p><p>“Will you at least tell me what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>She hesitated. “Arthur has informed you…?”</p><p> </p><p>“About his plans regarding magic? And about the boy Merlin?” Agravaine filled in for her. “Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>That was a relief; it would have been awkward if she had to make up a story to stop him from asking questions. “Well, the woman I was just speaking to accidentally witnessed Merlin performing magic-” She thought she saw Agravaine’s eyes light up with a flash of triumph, but decided she must have imagined it, “-but it’s okay, I explained the situation and she promised not to speak of this to anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine smiled at her. “You have done well, Guinevere. You have handled this situation with grace and tact. I understand what Arthur sees in you.”</p><p> </p><p>Guinevere hid a frown; it had not escaped her notice that Agravaine disapproved of her relationship with Arthur, and had even counselled him to end it between them on at least one occasion. Still, he was being perfectly civil now, so she merely replied with, “Thank you, my lord. I really must be getting back to my sewing, though, by your leave…?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course. Thank you Guinevere.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin has my permission to use magic,” Arthur reminded Agravaine, unsure why his uncle had felt it necessary to bring this matter to him. Making a tapestry seem to come to life was a bit frivolous but Guinevere had already taken the blame for the incident, explaining that Merlin had only done it for her entertainment and at her request.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, of course, Arthur, I understand that. However, technically, the laws have not yet been changed. The people still believe that the use of magic is punishable by death and that sorcerers are evil. I fear that if Merlin is seen openly using magic it could cause panic. Or, worse, it could undermine your leadership and authority if your own manservant is seen flaunting the rules with no fear of punishment.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. “I’m not going to punish Merlin for doing what I have said he can.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t suggesting that you should, Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then what are you suggesting?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just think that it would be best if Merlin refrained from using magic until the new laws have been passed, to avoid any more unfortunate misunderstandings.”</p><p> </p><p>The idea was reasonable and, in fact, Arthur had already discouraged Merlin from using magic in public to avoid this very problem. However, there was a flaw in this plan. Merlin’s magic was apparently acting up at the moment and he couldn’t always supress it if he was caught by surprise or frightened. The thought of Merlin inadvertently hurting someone else the way he had hurt Arthur deeply concerned him, even though he understood that it was not Merlin’s fault.</p><p> </p><p>“Unfortunately, that may not be possible,” Arthur sighed. “The trauma Merlin experienced during the Lamia incident has rendered his magic somewhat unstable.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine’s brow drew down in concern. “That sounds dangerous, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>It was, Arthur had to admit. So far, Merlin’s magic had only pushed people away – if rather forcefully – but what if the next time it did something worse?</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin cannot be blamed for the situation,” he said out loud, not sure whether it was for Agravaine’s benefit or his own. “He needs time to heal.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine nodded slowly. “Then perhaps it would be best if Merlin took a vacation. He could return to his hometown, Ealdor, and spend some time with his mother.”</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t occur to Arthur to think it strange that his uncle knew of Merlin’s background, even though he had never mentioned it to the man and was unlikely that Merlin would have either.</p><p> </p><p>“While he is away,” Agravaine continued, “we can finalise the new laws and inform the people of the changes, so that when Merlin returns he will not have to hide anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>The proposal had merit. Inasmuch as Arthur would like to be the one who helped Merlin through this, he had to admit that he was probably not the right person for the job. His idea of making a person feel better was punching them on the arm, which had already proved unsuccessful with Merlin in the past and would probably be even more disastrous now. Hunith, on the other hand, was gentle and would know exactly what to say to her son.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was also reluctant to send away his manservant because, to be honest, he enjoyed the younger man’s company and loathed it whenever a replacement servant came in. But that was just selfishness on his part.</p><p> </p><p>“Very well, Agravaine, you have convinced me,” Arthur said finally. “I will give Merlin two weeks of leave. He can take some time out in Ealdor to get over what has happened and allow his magic to settle. If we work diligently, we should also be able to complete the amendments to the law in that time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for your advice. It has been invaluable, as always.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine bowed his head slightly and left the room. Only once he was out of eyesight of the king did Agravaine allow the grin of success to spread across his face. Their plan was underway.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t have to wait as long as he usually did for Merlin to make an appearance with his dinner that evening. The door to his chambers swung wide open, seemingly of its own accord, and this odd phenomenon was soon followed by the entrance of Merlin, his arms heavily laden with a platter of gravy-slathered meat, potatoes, vegetables and a chunk of freshly baked bread. As he walked, Merlin watched both the plate and his feet with a look of intense concentration on his face, as though any lesser amount of focus would result in him tripping up and spilling the meal everywhere. In contrast, the quick glance he flicked over his shoulder to close the door was casual and off-hand, as though the magic came to him far more naturally.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur smiled to himself. <em>Who knew? Merlin really is a wonder after all.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Put that down before you fall over,” he said instead.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin set the platter down on the table obediently, then gestured to a goblet and water pitcher in the corner to bring them sailing over.</p><p> </p><p>The use of magic reminded him. “Merlin, I’m sending you back to Ealdor.”</p><p> </p><p>The jug dropped out of the air like a stone, clattering loudly as it hit the floor and splashing water everywhere. Merlin gaped at him, not heeding the mess he had just made, his face remarkably pale all of a sudden as though he had just received a death sentence instead of a holiday.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the matter?” Arthur asked, nonplussed by this unexpected reaction. Merlin was always whining for some time off; shouldn’t he be happy?</p><p> </p><p>But no, Merlin looked hurt and betrayed. The man was unfathomable. “You-you’re exiling me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Where on earth did you get that idea?” Arthur exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin frowned, but he no longer appeared devastated, just confused. “You just said you were sending me away,” he pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such an idiot, Merlin. I’m letting you visit Hunith because the poor woman has not seen her son in ages, but I expect you to be back here catching up on your chores in two weeks. And if you even <em>think</em> about being late, I’ll have you in the stocks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, let me get this straight – you’re seriously letting me have a <em>two week</em> break from serving your royal pratness? But you have never even given me a single day off before!”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sniffed. “Of course I have you idiot. Did you think I would have hesitated to send guards to drag your sorry butt back from the tavern all those times you shirked your duties if I didn’t think you needed the break?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin blinked at him, surprised, but his expression swiftly changed to annoyance. “Thanks and all that, but I don’t <em>go</em> to the tavern unless I’m chaperoning Gwaine or bringing the barkeeper his weekly medicine,” he huffed. “Honestly, couldn’t Gaius have come up with some other explanation for why I kept disappearing all the time?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. “Merlin, drinking is not a crime, but don’t lie to me; I have <em>seen </em>you drunk. Remember the time that old sorcerer ran straight past you and you couldn’t even string together a sentence coherent enough to tell us which way he went?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s cheeks coloured. “Ah. Yes. About that…”</p><p> </p><p>Suspicion grew in his mind. “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um, well, Gwen had been accused of enchanting you and she was going to be executed. Anything you said to your father just convinced him of her guilt, especially once the poultice was found…”</p><p> </p><p>“I remember the incident,” Arthur said stiffly. He had felt helpless and lost, terrified that the woman he loved would be murdered by his own father and he did not even have the support of his servant to keep him steady because Merlin had gone missing.</p><p> </p><p>“But you know you weren’t enchanted,” Merlin continued. “Someone just wanted it to look that way to get Gwen into trouble.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes: the sorcerer. What does this have to do with you being drunk?” Unless the thought of Gwen dying was what had driven a grieving Merlin to the tavern in the first place. Arthur couldn’t blame him.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head. “No, not the sorcerer. He deliberately allowed himself to be caught in order to save Gwen’s life. The real enemy was Morgana; she set the whole thing up.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur couldn’t believe it. “That’s not true.”</p><p> </p><p>Pity shone in Merlin’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Arthur, but Morgana’s betrayal began long before you found out. That year she was missing… She was not a captive of bandits as she claimed. She was with Morgause, learning how to use her magic and growing to hate Camelot more with each passing day. When she returned, everything she did was to try to bring about Camelot’s downfall from the inside.”</p><p> </p><p>“You knew all along,” Arthur said dully, and Merlin did not deny it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>“You wouldn’t have believed me, and Uther would have had my head,” Merlin answered, his tone matter-of-fact. And though Arthur hated to admit it, he knew it was the truth. He and his father would never have taken the word of a servant over Morgana. “I knew I could not accuse her of planting the poultices,” Merlin continued, “so I invented Dragoon to take the blame instead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hang on – you <em>what? </em>You invented Dragoon?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shifted uncomfortably. “In a manner of speaking. I cast an ageing spell on myself and put on some stereotypical robes…”</p><p> </p><p>“That was <em>you?” </em>Arthur shouted. “You hit me with a helmet! And called me a – a – stupid arrogant brat!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded sheepishly. “With the brains of a donkey and the face of a toad. Sorry, Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>“I knew there was something familiar about him… you… whatever. But…” Arthur’s voice trailed off, a horrible thought occurring to him. He backed away from his servant, hoping desperately that he was wrong. “But that old sorcerer was the one… He was the one who killed my father.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin didn’t say ‘Oh, no, that wasn’t me, sire, of course not’. Instead, his eyes widened with fear and shame flooded his features, proclaiming his guilt as clearly as words would have. “Arthur…”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur took another step back, reaching blindly for the sword that should have been at his hip but wasn’t because he had taken it off earlier. He felt sick, nausea and fury and grief clawing up his throat.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, please listen to me,” Merlin begged. “Yes, I am Dragoon, but I did not kill Uther. I tried everything in my power to heal him. I wanted to save him; I wanted to show you that magic could be a force for good. But somehow Morgana got there first. She put a charmed pendant around Uther’s neck that reversed any magic that was used to heal him. I swear, I didn’t know. Gaius found the pendant later and realised what must have happened. Arthur, I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Merlin’s breath started coming in panicked gasps, tears welling in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sighed, the tension slipping from his muscles. He knew that Merlin was telling the truth. Really, a part of him had known at the time that the sorcerer was not to blame for Uther’s death, and there was no way that Merlin would have hurt him deliberately. It pained Arthur to think that Morgana was capable of killing her own father, but it was no longer a surprise. She had changed; become ruthless. So angry and vengeful, so different to Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault, Merlin,” he assured the younger man, aware that Merlin had probably assumed Arthur would have him executed. “Thank you for trying to heal him.” The knowledge was difficult to bear, but Arthur had no doubts of Merlin’s sincerity. He still remembered how his servant had waited for him during his night of grieving. ‘<em>I didn’t want you to feel that you were alone.’ </em>That had been the moment Arthur realised what a true, loyal friend Merlin was, and he had finally confessed the mutual sentiment out loud, needing to be able to lean on that friendship to get him though those dark days. Merlin’s steady support and gentle understanding had given Arthur the strength he needed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Merlin repeated quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop apologising,” Arthur said. “And clean up that mess.” He gestured to the puddle of water. Merlin continued to look at him, until Arthur muttered “You’re forgiven.” Then Merlin nodded and used magic to clean the floor far more efficiently than he did with a mop.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sat down at the table and started in on his dinner, wrinkling his nose when he realised it was cold. Merlin noticed and smiled, fixing the problem with a gleam of golden eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that how my bathwater always seems to be the perfect temperature?” Arthur asked curiously, chewing appreciatively on a slice of beef.</p><p> </p><p>“Secrets of the trade sire,” Merlin said with a wink.</p><p> </p><p>“So, about Ealdor.” Arthur remembered where this conversation had originally started out; somehow they had managed to get very side-tracked. “You can leave tomorrow morning. I’ll send Gwaine with you for protection-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin winced. “That’s alright, Arthur. I will be fine on my own.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur knew why Merlin was reluctant to have a knight along for company, but even in light of what had happened Arthur did not like the idea of Merlin travelling alone. “Merlin-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a warlock, remember? I can take care of myself. Besides, Gwaine would be bored out of his wits in Ealdor; there’s only one tavern.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur chuckled. “Very well. But you will at least take a horse from the royal stables, and two sacks of grain to help the village during the upcoming winter months. Agreed?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin smiled at him. “Okay, Arthur. Thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll have a list a mile long of jobs for you to do when you come back,” Arthur threatened. Not the least of which, he reflected, would be overseeing the use of magic in Camelot, which might just come with a title to match. But Arthur was saving that news for another time. “So no dawdling.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning when Merlin rode out alone from Camelot was pleasantly warm. There was barely a wisp of cloud in the sky, a gentle breeze ruffled the hair at the back of his neck and sunlight bathed the land in a golden glow. Perfect travelling weather.</p><p> </p><p>It felt good to be going home. Merlin had not been to visit his mother in Ealdor since the conflict with Kanen, and that had not exactly been a relaxing time he could spend reconnecting with his mother. They wrote to each other often, of course, but it wasn’t the same. He missed her.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had come to realise, though, that there was no going back for him now, at least not permanently.  When he had first set out from Ealdor he had considered travelling to the big city to be a once-off adventure, a bit of a learning curve mixed in with some sight-seeing. At the time he hadn’t wanted to think of it as moving out of home and leaving Ealdor behind forever. But now he couldn’t imagine returning to live in the little village and spending the rest of his days tilling earth and growing crops. His destiny was so much bigger than that.</p><p> </p><p>And, he thought with a smile, their destiny had at last well and truly begun now that Arthur knew about and accepted his magic. Merlin could almost see Albion on the horizon.</p><p> </p><p>He made the most of the daylight, travelling almost straight through except for a brief lunch break when he let the horse drink from the river and graze on the grass while he nibbled on the food Gaius had packed for him.</p><p> </p><p>He met very few other people along the road, and when he finally made camp for the night a little ways off into the forest he felt fairly safe. He threw up a cautionary web of magic that would keep him hidden from the eyes of any bandits that might come this way, but he wasn’t worried.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin settled down into his bed roll and blew out a gentle sigh, allowing the sounds of nature’s nightlife to lull him to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>He had no sense of being watched. Nor did he hear the whisper of a cloak dragging lightly across fallen leaves.</p><p> </p><p>His magic hummed just under his skin, but it was more concerned with repelling physical attacks, prepared to react if someone dared to touch him but not anticipating a more subtle approach.</p><p> </p><p>A smirk curved her lips as she stared down at the foolish boy unknowingly curled up at her feet. She could hardly believe that he was the one who posed such a great threat to her, but she knew now not to underestimate him.</p><p> </p><p>Her voice came out in a barely audible hiss. “<em>Geswefian ne tobregdan ábúgan mín galdorléoð ádéadian</em>…” As she spoke his breathing deepened and his body became limp. Once she was sure her spell had taken effect and that he would not be waking or moving any time soon, she reached down and carefully snicked a metal collar around his neck. As it closed the silver band, encircled with ancient runes and symbols of the Old Religion, glowed a bright blue. When the light faded, the seams and clasp had vanished and the metal sat snugly against his skin.</p><p> </p><p>“Now you are powerless against me, Emrys,” Morgana whispered gleefully to his unconscious form. “Finally, I will have my revenge and you shall trouble me no more.”</p><p> </p><p>She cast another spell to magically ensnare his ankle and strode regally from the clearing, allowing his body to drag along the ground in her wake.</p><p> </p><p>By the early hours just before dawn they had reached the secluded hut in the woods that was Morgana’s residence. She loathed to call it a home, because although she had lived there for over a year now she knew where she truly belonged was in Camelot’s castle as queen and she refused to let her heart settle for anything less. Destroying Emrys was the first step towards achieving her dream, and she intended to take exquisite pleasure in the task.</p><p> </p><p>She strung Merlin up to the chain that had served the same purpose not so long ago. This time, however, she used manacles that had been smelted by powerful High Priestesses of the Old Religion to restrain the magic of their prisoners. The collar should already have rendered Merlin incapable of accessing his powers, but she did not want to take any chances.</p><p> </p><p>Once she was satisfied that her enemy would not be able to escape, she stepped back and released the spell.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin groaned his way back to consciousness, eyelids flickering and arms tugging absently at their chains. After a few moments Morgana decided he was taking too long and slapped him full force across the face.</p><p> </p><p>He gave a satisfying yelp of surprise, his body lurching uselessly backwards and his eyes flashing open. They widened when they saw her, then quickly darted around the room before returning to her face.</p><p> </p><p>“Déjà vu,” Merlin quipped, swiftly adopting a façade of being calm and in control. “Haven’t we done this recently?”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana had wondered in the past how Merlin, a mere manservant and a weakling at that, could appear so confident in the face of dangers that were surely beyond his ability to handle. It was clear to Morgana now that he must have been relying on his magic to protect him, but in this situation it could not come to his aid. He would soon know true fear.</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed we have,” Morgana replied. “But this time I will not be making the same mistake. You will not leave here alive.”</p><p> </p><p>Such threats, spoken in silky yet unmistakably powerful tones, had cowed many a man. Apparently not Merlin. He appeared almost bored. “Finally decided to kill me, have you? Took you long enough. Get on with it, then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Always so eager to die, Merlin. Unfortunately for you, I confess that your death alone would not be enough to satisfy me.”</p><p> </p><p>His jaw tightened slightly. “I don’t care what you do to me.”</p><p> </p><p>She raised a delicate eyebrow. “No? I would have thought you would be a bit more worried about the terrible fate that will befall your dear King Arthur without you around.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin snorted with amusement. “Death by stinky socks and unpolished boots. I can just see it now.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not talking about your role as his servant,” Morgana said irritably. “Servants are expendable, and easily replaceable. You, however…”</p><p> </p><p>“Perform the vital task of keeping Arthur’s ego from over-inflating by delivering the occasional witty insult,” Merlin filled in, nodding. “Yes, you’re right; he’d be lost without me.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana’s eyes narrowed. This was what Merlin did; he played the joker, the idiot, the fool, dancing around the truth to keep it hidden. But he could not lie to her any longer.</p><p> </p><p>“Enough,” she snapped. “I know who you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“I should hope so by now!” Merlin said. “We’ve known each other for quite a few years, after all.”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana tilted her head, examining the face of the boy who had once been her friend. Outwardly, he did not look any different. “No,” she replied quietly. “I only thought I knew you. How wrong I was.”</p><p> </p><p>“What <em>are</em> you talking about?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Emrys,</em>” she hissed.</p><p> </p><p>Surprise flashed in his eyes, but he quickly covered it with feigned confusion. “I’m sorry, what?”</p><p> </p><p>“You are Emrys.”</p><p> </p><p>“No… I’m Merlin, remember? Arthur’s manservant? Ring any bells?”</p><p> </p><p>“I know who you have pretended to be, but at long last your true identity has been revealed. You are Emrys, powerful warlock, known to the Druids and spoken of in prophecy. You, Merlin, have magic.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin laughed uncomfortably. “Wherever did you get that crazy idea?”</p><p> </p><p>Morgana folded her arms. “I have my sources.”</p><p> </p><p>The humour faded from Merlin’s expression and his eyes hardened. “Agravaine.”</p><p> </p><p>A corner of her lips twisted up. “Nothing gets by you, does it Merlin?” He had caught onto her duplicitous nature within days of her return to Camelot, and it seemed Merlin had realised that Agravaine, too, was a traitor. No matter, though; he had learned not to speak out with accusations against members of Arthur’s family. Her pawn was not compromised. “It’s a pity that Arthur doesn’t trust you enough to listen to your warnings. You will both suffer for his stupidity.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t let you hurt him.”</p><p> </p><p>She let out a lilting laugh. “What are you going to do about it? Fight me?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know I can. And I will.”</p><p> </p><p>She spread her arms in invitation. “Go ahead. Do your worst.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you Morgana.”</p><p> </p><p>She made a sound of disbelief, remembering all too clearly the way he had offered her the water skin, appearing so friendly and earnest. She had trusted him, and in return he had tried to kill her. “That line would be easier to fall for if you had not poisoned me.”</p><p> </p><p>His gaze did not waver, nor did the conviction in his voice. “I said I didn’t want to. But I will if I have to. Let me go, or I promise you will regret it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Make me,” Morgana challenged him. She waited expectantly, drawing on her year spend pretending to be Uther’s loving ward to help her hide the smile of anticipation she felt tugging at her lips.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s face was sad. “You bring this upon yourself.” He sucked in a deep breath, his eyes fluttered shut, and then they flashed open.</p><p> </p><p>Nothing happened.</p><p> </p><p>He frowned, his arm jerking unconsciously in an attempt to direct the spell. “<em>Ablinn ðu; forlæte ðu nu</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>His knowledge of spells proved beyond doubt that he had magic, but there was no tell-tale flash of gold in his eyes. Morgana began to smile.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Forþ fleoge</em>!” Merlin started to panic. “<em>Ic þé wiþdrífe! Hleap on bæc</em>!” He gasped, chest heaving, reeking of frantic desperation as he cast spell after spell, all to no avail.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana laughed at him, enjoying his helplessness. “Oh, my poor Merlin. Did you think after learning who you were I would not come prepared? Those manacles around your wrists are resistant to all forms of magic.”</p><p> </p><p>He glanced up at them, and promptly began violently jerking his arms in an attempt to break free. He succeeded in tearing open the thin skin around his wrists, but nothing more.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana smirked. “Of course, the real power lies in your new neck accessory.”</p><p> </p><p>Naturally, Merlin tried to look down at it but the collar lay just out of his line of sight. After twisting and craning his neck for a few moments though, it became clear that he could feel it.</p><p> </p><p>“Would you like to see it?” Morgana asked him sweetly, holding up a hand mirror. “I must say, it looks much better than those tattered neckerchiefs you always wear.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s gaze flitted across the reflection in the mirror, apparently reading the ancient text that none but a learned sorcerer could translate. With every word, hopelessness grew in his expression. He had to know that there was no escape. Once clasped around the victim’s neck, the collar was designed not to come off unless the victim died or they were beheaded. Morgana did not intend for that to happen for a while yet.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” Morgana said. “Last time we were here, you would not fight me for fear of revealing your secret. And now that your secret has been revealed, you <em>cannot</em> fight me.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want from me?” Merlin asked tightly, his confidence finally shaken.</p><p> </p><p>She stepped closer to him, a smile spreading across her lips. When she spoke, her tone was like syrup. “Why Merlin… isn’t it obvious?” She leaned in so her face was scarcely an inch from his, and her voice turned icy. “I want revenge.”</p><p> </p><p>“Morgana-” he tried.</p><p> </p><p>But she was done talking.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Ic i ætege</em>!” she snapped, slapping a hand against his chest as her eyes flared golden. The power shot through her and, close as she was, she saw in his eyes the exact moment when the bolt of pain struck him.</p><p> </p><p>His shrieks were like sweet music to her ears.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sank into a chair and exhaled a long, bone-weary sigh, bringing a hand up to feebly massage his aching temples. The day had come to an end at last and he was finally able to find some peace and quiet in the privacy of his chambers.</p><p> </p><p>Or so he thought, but barely a few moments had passed before there was a knock on his door.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Merlin,”</em> Arthur groaned automatically, until he remembered that his servant had left for Ealdor a few days ago. He groaned louder; he really didn’t want to get up out of this chair. It was poor manners not to open the door for whoever currently stood behind it, but at this level of exhaustion he was not inclined to care. “Come!”</p><p> </p><p>The door creaked open and Gaius popped his head in. “Am I disturbing you, sire?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s alright.” Arthur waved a hand to invite the physician in.</p><p> </p><p>“I noticed during the council meetings today that you seemed to be developing a headache,” Gaius said as he approached. “I brought you a tonic that should help.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur offered a tired smile, and accepted the small vial of liquid. “Thank you, Gaius.” He was usually reluctant to take painkillers, but the days had been dragging painfully and he knew that his workload and stress levels were not going to decrease any time soon. He needed his wits about him when dealing with stubborn Council members who were resistant to change; he couldn’t afford to be taken ill.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought it went a bit better today,” Gaius offered as Arthur downed the foul-tasting substance.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur grimaced, and not just at the taste. “Not much. They all think I’m insane. Sometimes <em>I</em> think I’m insane.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are doing the right thing, sire.” Gaius sounded convinced, but Arthur was no longer so sure.</p><p> </p><p>“Am I? My father introduced the laws against magic over 20 years ago, and barely a few months after his death I am eradicating his life’s work. As everyone seems keen to remind me, my father would be furious if he knew what I was doing.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius sat down opposite him and looked him in the eye. “Uther was a broken man,” he said quietly. “The death of your mother was a devastating blow to his heart; one from which I fear he never fully recovered. His grief turned to anger against all forms of magic, but in truth it was one spell, one sorceress, who should have borne the blame for what happened. At that time there were indeed others who used their power for the wrong reasons, but there were also a great many innocent who were condemned to the flames during the Great Purge. Tell me, sire, and answer truthfully – do you believe such action was just?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had been battling with this question for a few years now, and the truth was not easy to bear. He did not wish to face the idea that his father had been wrong. “It brought peace to Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps, for a time. But it also brought fear and violence. Of all the times Camelot has faced a dire magical threat, how many were because someone desired revenge for the death of a loved one during the Purge or as a result of Uther’s decree? How many were attempts to break free from persecution?”</p><p> </p><p>“Most of them,” Arthur admitted, thinking back. The laws against magic had brought them many enemies.</p><p> </p><p>“Even Morgana,” Gaius said cautiously. It was a sore topic for Arthur, but he allowed the physician to continue. “She was not born twisted and evil, sire. She discovered that she had magic, and for all that he professed to love her, Morgana feared what Uther would do to her when he found out. Her fear turned to desperation and her desperation turned to hate.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt a deep pang of sorrow. He wanted to hate Morgana for all she had done, but a part of him understood the reasons for her actions even if he did not agree with them. She must have felt so lost and alone when she realised she would be hunted for the magic she had not chosen to have, and could probably only see one way out of her situation. Somewhere along the way, though, she had lost her morality. She had turned to murder and violence, and her desire for freedom had transformed into a thirst for power.</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t that happen to Merlin?” Arthur wondered out loud. “Surely he was afraid, too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire, he was. But he chose to hope for a better future and to do everything within his power to see that future come to pass. The future he trusted <em>you</em> would someday bring.”</p><p> </p><p><em>He trusted you. </em>Merlin could have wrested power for himself, but instead he had protected and supported Arthur, trusting that he would one day become the sort of King who could accept him for who he was. He might not have trusted Arthur with his secret, but he <em>had</em> trusted him with so much more.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I better see that it happens, then,” Arthur said. “And that begins with these laws. It is not easy though.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius smiled. “Nothing truly worth doing ever is, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur nodded at the truth of those words. His determination to see this matter through had been renewed, but not all his doubts had been quieted. “Do you think that anyone with magic will come out into the open once the new laws are announced to the public? Is there even anyone left who is not twisted by fear and hate?”</p><p> </p><p>“More than you think, sire. But it is hard to say whether they will reveal themselves. Many may think it to be a trap. But Merlin has friends in the magical community, and so do I. They will trust us that it is safe to come out of hiding, and others will follow their lead when they see that no harm befell them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Camelot will become a very different kingdom,” Arthur reflected, trying to imagine the magic they had feared and hated for so long freely roaming the streets of his city.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire,” Gaius agreed. “A better kingdom, in the end; protected by the greatest warlock this world has ever known, and ruled by great king who is both fair and just.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur smiled faintly. “Thank you, Gaius.” He thought over the physician’s words, a few of them in particular standing out. “Is Merlin really that powerful?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve never met anyone like him, sire. I do not think even he knows the full extent of his power.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur shook his head in wonder. “I had no idea. I never even <em>suspected</em>.” Even now that he had witnessed Merlin using magic, Arthur still found it hard to believe.  Although, he had known from the beginning that there was something unique about this peasant boy who would dare to call the prince of Camelot an ass to his face.</p><p> </p><p><em>“I could take you apart with a single blow,”</em> Arthur had bragged. And Merlin’s response?</p><p> </p><p><em>“I could take you apart with less than that.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Who knew that Merlin had been telling the truth that day? And then he had entered Arthur’s service, and he could no longer act as that cocky, confident, fearless boy for fear of his secret being found out. His personality had bled through the façade, though, some times more strongly than others, and the truer Merlin was to himself the more Arthur tended to appreciate his company.</p><p> </p><p>He found himself looking forward to having the real Merlin around once he returned from Ealdor. No lies, no pretence, just Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me a story, Gaius?” Arthur asked.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius quirked an eyebrow. “About Merlin?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Something good.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius thought for a moment. “Well, the first time I met him Merlin saved my life with magic.”<br/><br/></p><p>“Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire…”<br/><br/></p><p>Arthur listened as Gaius described how he had fallen to what could have been his death if, within a split second, Merlin hadn’t used magic to drag his bed across the room for him to land on safely. No wonder Gaius had not turned him in; that would have been a poor repayment when he owed Merlin his life.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur would have been content to listen to Gaius’ tales for the rest of the evening – getting to know this heroic side of his manservant – but just when Gaius was explaining how Arthur had <em>really</em> survived the bite of the Questing Beast, Sir Gwaine burst into the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur!”</p><p> </p><p>Hearing the urgency in the knight’s voice, Arthur leaped up from his seat despite his fatigue and his hand went to his sword. “What is it? Are we under attack?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, but Merlin’s missing!”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur dropped back into his chair with a huff of annoyance. The small burst of energy had somehow left him feeling even more tired; he did not need this right now. “<em>Mer</em>lin is on a holiday, Gwaine, remember? He is in Ealdor visiting his mother. That hardly counts as ‘missing’.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine folded his arms. “If Merlin is in Ealdor, then why did his horse return without him? It just turned up at the gates to the city; no saddle, no bags, and no Merlin. Something must have happened to him!”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt concern stirring, but he didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. After all, he knew now that Merlin could take care of himself. “We don’t know that for sure.”<br/><br/></p><p>“But-”</p><p> </p><p>“Tomorrow, at first light, you and Elyan can go look for him, okay? But if he <em>is </em>in Ealdor, make sure he knows the search party was your idea.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine looked inclined to argue; he would probably prefer to set out immediately, but following tracks would be virtually impossible at night and he knew it.</p><p> </p><p>“I am sure Merlin is fine,” Arthur tried to reassure the man, knowing that guilt was probably making Gwaine feel more overprotective than usual.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Me too,</em> Arthur agreed silently.</p><p> </p><p>He remembered all too clearly the anguish that had ripped through him when that rock fall had separated him from Merlin, the heavy ache in his heart when he had returned to Camelot while Merlin’s fate was unknown, his unwillingness to accept reports that Merlin was gone… Because Merlin couldn’t be gone. Arthur couldn’t imagine life without him, didn’t know what he would do without him.</p><p> </p><p><em>He is fine,</em> Arthur repeated firmly to himself, but his conviction wavered.<em> I should not have let him go alone.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>No, Merlin was fine. And if he knew how much Arthur was fretting right now – not that he was fretting, because Arthur did not <em>fret</em> – he would laugh at him and call him a mother hen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>You had better be fine, Merlin, or I will go out and find your miserable hide and then have you thrown in the stocks for a week!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Good morning, Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>He gasped for breath, blinking wildly to clear his vision after a jolt of agony to the base of his skull had caused his surroundings to vanish in a blinding flash of white.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana stood before him, a smile playing on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope you slept well,” she said sweetly. “You have a long day ahead of you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was struggling to keep track of time. He felt as though he had been her captive for an eternity. Even as he tried to face her with defiance, his limbs trembled with exhaustion and his mind felt weighed down by a heavy fog. He thought that by the time unconsciousness had come the morning light had already begun to seep through the window and it had not risen far since then; he could only have been asleep for a couple of hours.</p><p> </p><p>It was more than she had allowed him on previous nights.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin tried to force words through lips that were cracked and dry. “When… are you going to… end this?”</p><p> </p><p>The pleasant mask dropped away; she glared daggers at him and slapped him full across the face. “You have not even begun to suffer what I have suffered!”<br/><br/></p><p>The sting blossomed across his cheek and he felt fresh blood dribble from his split lip, but that was a lover’s gentle caress compared to the pain her magic was capable of inflicting. He tried to brace himself.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Forþrysman</em>!” she snapped.</p><p> </p><p>An invisible hand closed around Merlin’s throat and began to squeeze<em>.</em> He attempted to choke air down into his lungs but it was impossible to breathe. He writhed helplessly, trying to dislodge the assailant. Spots danced in his vision. His chest heaved, desperately, futilely.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Ádloma</em>!” Morgana added.</p><p> </p><p>Fire erupted in his veins. Unable to scream, his eyes rolled madly, arms twisting and jerking against chains that would not yield.</p><p> </p><p>“When you poisoned me, Merlin, this is what it felt like. I couldn’t breathe. Pain spread to every inch of my body. But your <em>betrayal!</em> It seared my heart. You <em>poisoned</em> me and then cradled my body in a perversion of comfort as I lay <em>dying</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>Darkness was creeping in from the edges of his mind; blissful unconsciousness trying to pull him into the depths, but Morgana wouldn’t let him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Líhting</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>The band of constricting pressure around his throat abruptly lifted and he heaved in a huge, desperate breath, only to begin coughing violently.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you were my friend,” Morgana said in a wounded tone.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin glared up at her. He had once thought the same, and it had nearly killed him when he had been forced to poison her in order to save Arthur and the whole of Camelot. But none of it would have happened if Morgana had not gone to Morgause. “You… betrayed… us first…”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you’re wrong! It was you. I came to you when my magic first awoke within me, desperate for someone to believe me, to understand, to help. I needed a friend, and it turns out that <em>you </em>understood what was happening to me better than anyone else ever could. But you stayed silent. You <em>knew</em> what I had to be feeling, you knew how alone and afraid I was. You could have offered me hope, reassurance, guidance. You could have let me know that I was not the only one. But you said <em>nothing</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>A blast of emotional, unrestrained magic slammed into his chest, blasting him backwards until the chains yanked him to a jarring halt and swung him back into place.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana’s eyes shone with furious tears.</p><p> </p><p>Guilt weighed heavily within him. Her words were true. He often wondered what would have happened if he had reached out to her then. He could have shown her that magic was not a curse, that it could be used for good. He could have let her share in his hope for a future where magic was no longer outlawed. He could have helped her keep her secret, and been the support she needed when times were hard. Instead, she had been forced to turn to her sister, and Morgause had corrupted her. Now the good, beautiful woman who had fought at Merlin’s side to defend his little home town, who had spoken up so passionately for the rights of the people, who had been a friend to Gwen and like a sister to Arthur… now she was their enemy, filled with bitterness and hatred.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin couldn’t help but feel that he was partially to blame.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Morgana,” he croaked out hoarsely.</p><p> </p><p>But he had been afraid, too. He had never told anyone his secret – those who knew had only found out by accident – and starting with Uther’s ward did not seem a wise idea. Besides, ultimately Morgana’s choices were her own. He could not be held responsible for her decision to plot against the crown and to kill hundreds of innocent people in her quest for power.</p><p> </p><p>He pitied her, certainly, and he was sorry for the way things had turned out between them. The Morgana he had known was gone now, though, and all that remained was a threat to Arthur and to Albion. If Merlin ever got the chance to stop her, he would.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Now</em> you’re sorry,” Morgana sneered. “Now that I have you at my mercy. I can assure you, though, that I will show you none. Your insincere words are meaningless to me. But I will have you sobbing your apologies long before I am through with you.<em> Pínnes hrycg!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>His back arched as pain shot down his spine, but he clenched his teeth, determined not to scream. He didn’t want to give Morgana the satisfaction.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana smirked at his efforts. A flash of gold appeared in her eyes, magnifying the spell ten-fold.</p><p> </p><p>He held it in as long as he could, until his body was shuddering and his teeth felt like they would shatter. The desperate need for release built up within him and he could bear it no longer; a ragged cry tore from his lips.</p><p> </p><p>After an age had passed the pain lessened enough for Merlin to regain the use of his senses. Morgana wanted him to hear her cruel laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“So weak,” she taunted. “The mighty Emrys. To think I actually feared you, believing that you could somehow bring about my doom. But you really are nothing but a useless servant.”</p><p> </p><p><em>I’m not useless, </em>Merlin thought. <em>Arthur said that I was brave, and loyal, and not at all cowardly. </em>Arthur himself had once admitted that he was afraid of pain. Merlin had nothing to be ashamed of and he cared not what Morgana thought of him.</p><p> </p><p>“You do not deny it,” she sneered. “How pathetic you are.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin levelled a dispassionate stare at her. “I don’t have to deny it. We both know the truth. In a fair fight you are no match for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I nearly bested you once!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin snorted. “When I had the strength and reflexes of an 80-year-old man. Admit it, Morgana, you’re still afraid of me.”</p><p> </p><p>And she was; Merlin could see it in her eyes. She had hated Uther, she was jealous of Gwen and she craved Arthur’s throne, but when it came to Merlin, or Emrys as she had known him, she wanted him dead because she feared his power. The thought might have given him comfort if his magic wasn’t shackled and if he didn’t know that Morgana had no intention of letting him go. As it was, he had no doubt that when she grew bored of playing with him she would kill him.  He would have no chance to use his magic so his words might as well have been empty bravado. But at the moment words were all he had.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana leaned in close. “When you lie dead at my feet and all of Camelot bows before me, we shall see who was more powerful,” she hissed. “But do not think that you can provoke me into granting you a quick death. As vengeance for my beloved sister, yours will be slow and painful. “</p><p> </p><p>“Oh good,” Merlin replied cheerfully. “I’ll have plenty of time to think of a way to defeat you, then.”</p><p> </p><p>“You will not defeat me!” Morgana shrieked indignantly. “You cannot win, Merlin. You <em>will not</em> win!”</p><p> </p><p>He offered a smile filled with confidence he didn’t feel. “We’ll see.”</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t see a way out of this, though. He was going to die here and it was going to hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Forebrædan scaðan</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine burst through the doors of the council chamber. “Arthur!”</p><p> </p><p>Painfully aware of the outraged expressions worn by the majority of his councillors, Arthur stood slowly and tried to radiate regal displeasure. “<em>Sir </em>Gwaine, you would do well to remember your station. Court proceedings are not to be interrupted except in the case of an emergency.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine glanced around the room, picking up on the vibes, and he schooled his expression to one more apologetic. “I apologise, sire.” He even added a small bow of his head, which was out of character and had to mean that what he had to say was important enough that he did not want to risk being thrown out before he could say it.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur made him wait a few moments in an attempt to appease the councillors, but Gwaine had been gone for three days and Arthur wanted to know what he had found out. “What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is not in Ealdor, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s heart sank. No. This couldn’t be happening; not again.</p><p> </p><p>“We found the site where Merlin made camp on his first night out from Camelot,” Gwaine reported. “His bedroll, his horse’s saddle, his bags and the sacks of grain you sent with him were all still there. There was no sign of a struggle, but tracks leading from his bedroll suggest he was dragged unconscious into the forest.”</p><p> </p><p>“By whom?”</p><p> </p><p>“The footprints we found belonged to a woman. And… all traces of their passage vanished completely after a few paces. The tracks were not covered, they were simply gone. It was not natural.”</p><p> </p><p>Whoever had taken Merlin had magic, then. It made sense; Arthur had only thought about attacks by bandits or beasts, and had not worried because Merlin was capable of handling those. But Arthur did not know how Merlin’s magic stacked up against others, and if he had been sleeping it was possible he never even had the chance to defend himself. The footprints were from a woman, which led Arthur to only one logical conclusion.</p><p> </p><p>“Morgana.”</p><p> </p><p>“I believe so, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“Morgana has Merlin.” Saying it out loud somehow made it even worse. It was unlikely that Merlin was dead; if she wanted to kill him she could have done it while he slept, and that thought was frightening enough. But she had taken him instead, and Arthur dreaded to think what that could mean for Merlin. “Do we have any idea where she could be keeping him?”</p><p> </p><p>“The tracks exited to the east of the clearing. Beyond that… none.”</p><p> </p><p>They could be anywhere. “Send out patrols-”</p><p> </p><p>“Your Majesty!” Lord Baldor protested. “Surely you do not intend to waste precious resources on a hunt for a missing <em>servant.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Not this argument again. “Merlin is no mere servant.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine, then – a missing sorcerer. I say good riddance!”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur glared. “You border on insubordination, Lord Baldor.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you, sire, show no propriety. You are the king of Camelot. You should not be concerned with such petty matters. A servant getting lost in the woods is of no interest to the court and does not warrant the valuable time of numerous soldiers and knights of the realm!”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is not lost; he has been taken by an enemy of Camelot!”</p><p> </p><p>“So he has led you to believe. Isn’t it more likely, sire, that he has joined forces with the Lady Morgana and is plotting to overthrow you even as we speak?”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin has proven his loyalty more times than I can count, and certainly more than you have, Lord Baldor. When was the last time you risked your life to defend this city?”</p><p> </p><p>“This Merlin is <em>dangerous</em>, sire.  He has magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“And he has proven that not all magic is evil.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have allowed him to get too close to you, sire. Can you not see how he is corrupting your thoughts, influencing your decisions? Perhaps his absence should be considered a blessing; it will give you a chance to clear your head. And if he does not return, then this debate over magic can be laid to rest. Everything can go back to the way it was.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had not realised how deep these prejudices ran. “Listen to me very carefully. I will not abandon my manservant – nay, my friend – to die at Morgana’s hand. Each of us in this room – in this <em>city</em> – owe him our lives many times over; I alone have been saved by his magic a hundred times or more. Even if I were to disregard my personal relationship with him, I would be putting this kingdom at risk if I did not see to it that our most powerful protector remained alive and healthy to defend us.”</p><p> </p><p>Lord Baldor shrugged. “If the Lady Morgana is able to kill him, it would seem he would have been of little help to us anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“How dare you speak of Merlin’s death in such a callous manner! He is a hero who deserves respect!”</p><p> </p><p>Up until this point Gwaine had held his tongue, but now he stepped forward, eyes narrowed at Baldor. “Perhaps Lord Baldor wishes to see Merlin dead, sire. Perhaps he even helped to arrange it.”</p><p> </p><p>The councillor spluttered indignantly. “That is an outrageous accusation!”</p><p> </p><p>“How else could Morgana have known where Merlin was? And why would she have chosen to go after him now, if she did not know of his importance? Someone in this court has betrayed him. And in doing so, they have betrayed us all.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt cold. They never had identified the traitor in their midst. Suspicion had been diverted onto Gaius and when his name was cleared the matter had fallen to the wayside. But Gwaine was right. For Morgana to have found Merlin and successfully taken him captive, someone must have told her his location and revealed that he had magic. Otherwise Merlin would have escaped by now.</p><p> </p><p>“We will get to the bottom of this,” Arthur said. His voice was very quiet, but the deadly threat in his words could be heard loud and clear. Camelot had been left vulnerable to this traitor for far too long. “In the meantime, Sir Gwaine, send out those patrols immediately. I want Merlin found.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“And have someone inform Gaius,” Arthur added.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see to it right away.” Gwaine bowed slightly. “Don’t worry sire. We’ll have Merlin back safe and sound before you know it.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I hope so.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Breaking the news to Gaius was not easy.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine remembered how distressed Merlin had been when his guardian was kidnapped, and now that their roles had been reversed it was clear that the emotions Gaius felt for his ward ran equally deep. Of course, the physician tried to hide it by complaining that Merlin was always getting himself into trouble, but Gwaine could tell he was worried.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll find him,” Gwaine promised. “I won’t rest until he is back home safely.”</p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate that. But you must be careful. Morgana is dangerous.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine nodded seriously, knowing the truth of his words. Magic was certainly a force to be reckoned with, and Morgana was merciless. He was lucky that he had not had to face her directly during the fight to reclaim Camelot from her immortal army, because it was likely he would not have survived the experience. No one had gone up against her, as far as he knew… And yet somehow she had been defeated.</p><p> </p><p><em>Merlin, </em>Gwaine realised. Of course – he and Lancelot never did take out the warning bell. They must have gone after the cup, and they had <em>succeeded.</em> How powerful was Merlin anyway?</p><p> </p><p>“Gaius? Is Morgana’s magic stronger than Merlin’s?”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius pondered the question, eyebrows drawn close together. “It is hard to say. I do not believe so, but she has been able to devote far more time to studying and practicing magic than Merlin has. She learned from a priestess of the Old Religion; Merlin has had to teach himself. And Morgana has no qualms about using the darkest of the magical arts to get what she wants.”</p><p> </p><p>“So Merlin’s in trouble,” Gwaine surmised. “But we don’t even know where to begin looking for him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Morgana is living in a hovel somewhere in the forest,” Gaius revealed. “It is within a day’s ride of here, I believe.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine raised his eyebrows. “You know where she is?”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius sighed heavily. “Unfortunately no. Merlin does, but I never thought to ask him the exact location.” Noting Gwaine’s surprise, Gaius explained, “Morgana has captured him once before. It’s a long story, but she cast a spell on him and he had to go back to break it at the source.”</p><p> </p><p>“So if Merlin was here he could tell us exactly what we need to know to save him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid so.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine blew out a breath. “Well, at least we know what we’re looking for now. I’m sure we’ll find him in no time.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius nodded, though it seemed more a gesture of wanting to believe rather than true confidence. Gwaine understood; he felt the same. But he had meant what he said – he was not going to give up until he rescued his friend, not the least because he knew Merlin would do the same for him.</p><p> </p><p><em>I’m coming, buddy,</em> he promised silently. <em>Hold on.</em></p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Merlin hung limply in his chains. Blood trickled from his abraded wrists and the muscles in his arms burned with the strain of bearing the full weight of his body, but he no longer had the strength to stand.</p><p> </p><p>He was tired. He was so very tired.</p><p> </p><p>Sleep called for him and he longed to sink into its peaceful depths, but tonight Morgana had refused to turn off the spell. She hadn’t liked him speaking ill of her dead sister and this was his punishment.</p><p> </p><p><em>“You had to open your big mouth, didn’t you, Merlin.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>He knew from experience that if he let himself lose consciousness the spell would activate and he would be left screaming soundlessly for hours until Morgana finally released him.</p><p> </p><p>But at times, when his eyelids were leaden and he was sure it was physically impossible to be any more exhausted, he felt that maybe the pain would be worth it if he could snatch even a few seconds of sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Trying to stay awake was a torture all on its own, as Morgana no doubt intended. Merlin did his best but he worried that the effort would kill him. Every so often, when the outside sky was as dark as his thoughts, he worried that it wouldn’t kill him fast enough.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>“The darkest hour is just before the dawn,” </em>Arthur had said.</p><p> </p><p>Wanting to give up, nearly in tears, not caring if this could be considered a sign of insanity, Merlin whispered his response out loud. “It’s pretty dark right now, Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p><em>“Can’t be long now then,”</em> his mind supplied.</p><p> </p><p>But what relief could dawn bring? Morgana would wake from her slumber and the pain would begin all over again. It was too much to hope for a rescue – it would be two weeks before anyone even knew he was missing, and the last time he was here he had sensed the magic that shielded this place from the view of ordinary men. Even if they did find him, what could Arthur or the knights do against Morgana anyway? Without his magic backing them up, she would slaughter them. And Merlin could not call Kilgharrah; even if he could raise his weary voice loud enough, his words held no power.</p><p> </p><p>No, there would be no rescue. No one was coming for him. He was alone and he was helpless. No one could save him and he could not save himself.</p><p> </p><p><em>“You can’t give up, Merlin,” </em>Arthur’s voice said. <em>“Just hang in there a little longer.”</em></p><p> </p><p>Merlin closed his eyes. A tear slipped down his cheek. “I don’t know if I can,” he whispered brokenly.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t enough to imagine how disappointed Arthur would be with him if he stopped fighting. He thought that Arthur would probably understand a man reaching his breaking point, anyway, and would not judge him for it.</p><p> </p><p>But if Merlin died, Arthur would be vulnerable. It was Merlin’s destiny to protect him, to keep him safe. More than that, it was his life’s purpose, the meaning of his very existence. He would give anything – everything – for his King. His friend.</p><p> </p><p>He could live through this. He had to live through this. Not for himself. If it were only his life hanging in the balance, he would have succumbed to death already. But he could not, he <em>would</em> <em>not</em> let any harm befall Arthur, and that meant he had to stay alive. Arthur was depending on him.</p><p> </p><p><em>Arthur,</em> he thought.</p><p> </p><p>When sleep tried to drag him under, he gritted his teeth and forced his eyes open. <em>Arthur.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>When Morgana woke and turned her cold gaze on him, when a cruel smirk curved her lips and fear threatened to overwhelm his mind, he forced it back under his control. <em>Arthur.</em></p><p> </p><p>When she cast the first spell and pain ripped through him, he held fast to one thought. <em>Arthur.</em></p><p> </p><p>When all he knew was an endless wasteland of agony and he could contain it no longer, his scream took the form of a single word. <em>“ARTHUR!” </em></p><p> </p><p>When he had been tortured to within an inch of his life and the darkness beckoned, his heartbeat stubbornly thumped out <em>Ar-thur-Ar-thur, Ar-thur-Ar-thur.</em></p><p> </p><p>When the days stretched into weeks and the weeks stretched into months, he repeated the word like a mantra. <em>Arthur. Arthur.</em></p><p> </p><p>And when the pain had stripped him of strength, of hope, of dignity, of identity, when he could not even remember his own name, there was one name he never forgot.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arthur.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p>
  
</p><p>They all tried to talk him out of it, but Arthur would not listen.</p><p> </p><p>“He is just a servant,” his councillors scorned.</p><p> </p><p>“We have already searched everywhere, sire,” Leon apologised.</p><p> </p><p>“You still have a kingdom to run,” Agravaine pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>“It has been two months, Arthur,” Guinevere reminded him. “There is little hope that he has survived this long.”</p><p> </p><p>“It breaks my heart to say it, sire, but I fear Merlin is d-” Gaius’ voice broke, and he took a breath before continuing, “-is dead. And the best way you can honour his memory is by going ahead with the new laws on magic. It is what he would have wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>It all boiled down to one, underlying belief that everyone in Camelot seemed to share: that Merlin was gone, he wasn’t coming back, and riding out to look for him personally would change nothing.</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur was not going to change his mind.</p><p> </p><p>He saddled two horses; one for himself, and one for the wayward manservant who, he was determined, would be returning with him. He mounted up, ignoring all those around him who persisted with their objections.</p><p> </p><p>He was not expecting anyone to come with him, but when Gwaine appeared, ready to go and equally impervious to dissuasion, he was not altogether surprised. Gwaine had ridden out with every single patrol Arthur had sent to search for Merlin and occasionally on his own as well.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur just nodded to him and they rode out of the city together.</p><p> </p><p>The sun climbed to its zenith and then slipped inexorably towards the western horizon. As darkness descended over the land it seemed that this expedition, like all the others, would bear no fruit. But Arthur would not admit defeat. He permitted them a short meal break and chance to sleep, but as soon as dawn came they were once more on the move.</p><p> </p><p>There were well worn trails from the many search parties that had passed through this forest over the past two months, and it was evident that they had been very thorough. But then, the last time Merlin had gone missing the reports had been the same – that he was nowhere to be found – and then he had turned up out of nowhere, as if by magic.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur reined up, eyes widening with realisation.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur?” Gwaine asked, pulling up beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“Magic,” he said. “Morgana has magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes…”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s why we haven’t found them. She’s using magic to stay hidden.”</p><p> </p><p>“Figures,” Gwaine said. “But what can we do but keep looking? Merlin is my friend, I won’t abandon him.”</p><p> </p><p>“He is my friend as well,” Arthur snapped, and regretted the harsh tone immediately. His nerves were frayed. “My point is that we need to be on the lookout for signs that magic has been used to mislead us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good idea, except for the fact that neither of us really qualifies as a magical expert. How are we supposed to recognise a sign even if we see it?”</p><p> </p><p>The man had a point, but Arthur wouldn’t admit that out loud. “We don’t know until we try.” He urged his horses into motion again and Gwaine followed.<br/><br/></p><p>It was a long time before Arthur spotted anything out of the ordinary and he nearly overlooked it. But something nagged at him. He glanced back.</p><p> </p><p>They were following a recently worn trail that, according to the usual search patterns, was supposed to cut a relatively straight swath through the forest, but here it veered off at an angle. The ground showed that every time a patrol had been through here they had done the same thing, but there was no logical reason for it. In fact, looking more closely through a gap in the trees, Arthur thought he might see something up ahead.</p><p> </p><p>“Gwaine? I think we should go this way.”</p><p> </p><p>“But we just did,” Gwaine said, brow furrowed. “It was a dead end, so we came back here.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. “We-we did?” Now that he thought about it, he was sure that Gwaine was right. They had already searched over there and turned up nothing.</p><p> </p><p>He made to move on, but his gaze was pulled back to that spot.</p><p> </p><p>“Gwaine?”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur?” he replied impatiently.</p><p> </p><p>He pointed. “If we just went that way, then why are there no tracks?”</p><p> </p><p>“Tracks?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. The ground is soft from recent rainfall; we should be able to see hoof prints leading down that way and then coming back again. But there are no tracks.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I swear I remember looking over there. There was nothing to see.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered, too, but for some reason he couldn’t quite picture it in his head. “Well, let’s check again. Just in case.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Gwaine snapped. “You’re wasting time! There’s nothing there!”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the harm in making sure?”</p><p> </p><p>“We can’t!”</p><p> </p><p>Goosebumps rippled across his flesh at Gwaine’s insistent words, and that’s when he knew.</p><p> </p><p>“This is it,” he whispered. “There is magic at work here.”</p><p> </p><p>He dismounted, tying the horses’ reins to a tree branch. “I’m going this way,” he told his companion. “Are you coming with me, or not?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine grumbled something rude under his breath, but he swung out of the saddle nonetheless. “Fine.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur walked forward. The first few steps were easy, but then he suddenly forgot what he was doing.</p><p> </p><p>“Why are we leaving the path?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine was a pace behind him. “Because we’re looking for Merlin and double-checking everywhere doesn’t seem to be working, so apparently we’re triple checking this place.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Right.” He took one step, then another. This time, the very air seemed to be resisting him, but a physical barrier he could understand and he pushed stubbornly through it.</p><p> </p><p>Abruptly, the pressure vanished. He stumbled but caught himself, and when he looked around it was with a much clearer head. The path that stretched out before them, unnoticed before, had man-made steps embedded along it.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, that was weird,” Gwaine said.</p><p> </p><p>“Magic,” Arthur explained, drawing his sword and heading toward an outcropping of rock that did not look entirely natural. “Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>The pain ceased.</p><p> </p><p>Blue eyes opened warily, expecting the pain to begin again at any moment.</p><p> </p><p>But the tormentor seemed distracted, glancing behind her shoulder, frowning with uncertainty.</p><p> </p><p>“The wards,” she said, talking to herself. “Someone just passed through the wards.”</p><p> </p><p>Blue eyes watched with detachment as she walked to the door and peeked out quickly. When she closed it a moment later and turned back around, she was grinning.</p><p> </p><p>The body tensed, waiting. That expression on the tormentor’s face only ever heralded something bad, and often painful.</p><p> </p><p>“Luck has favoured me today,” she exhaled. “I had grown bored with you, Merlin. You are not nearly as entertaining as you used to be, now that you have abandoned the amusing back-talk and useless bravery. I would have killed you today, thinking I had pained you all I could, but now the fates have delivered Arthur straight into my hands.”</p><p> </p><p>A frown. <em>Arthur?</em></p><p> </p><p>The tormentor laughed. “He must be looking for you. How foolish of Arthur to come here with but one knight to guard him. Killing Arthur will be all too easy.”</p><p> </p><p>The frown deepened. <em>Killing Arthur?</em></p><p> </p><p>Something long buried began to stir within him.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I will make you watch as he dies. And then you can follow your precious master into the underworld. Would you like that, Merlin? To see your beloved Arthur again?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arthur…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The tight knot of warmth and light in the centre of his chest started swiftly unravelling.</p><p> </p><p>“I will be sure to tell him that you screamed endlessly for him to come and save you. I’m sure it will upset Arthur to know that he was too late.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arthur.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Threads of power shot out from his core through to every fibre of his being.</p><p> </p><p>“And then, after breaking his heart, all that will be left will be to choose the method of his execution. Alas that I have not the power to kill him and then bring him back to life; I would immensely enjoy having the chance to re-live the exquisite pleasure of Arthur’s death over and over. I will simply have to savour the moment.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arthur’s death?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Pressure was building exponentially, straining against the confines that had held it too long.</p><p> </p><p>The sound of footsteps approaching outside.</p><p> </p><p>The tormentor licked her lips, pupils dilated with blood-lust. “Here they come. Today, Arthur Pendragon, you meet your doom.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>ARTHUR.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His whole body thrummed with power, the pain and exhaustion fleeing into the background. He stood to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>The door of the hut was flung wide open, and two men threw themselves inside with weapons drawn and battle cries on their lips.</p><p> </p><p>But before they had moved two steps the men froze and stared.</p><p> </p><p>Two pairs of blue eyes found each other and the shock of their meeting was like a bolt of lightning striking the metal rod that had pulled it to itself.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin!” the blonde man gasped.</p><p> </p><p>His tormentor cackled gleefully. “Master and servant reunited at last!”</p><p> </p><p>The blonde man rushed forward, brushing past her as though she wasn’t even there. “Merlin, you’re alive! You’re okay! You’re-” He stumbled to a halt, his joyful expression crumbling. Hesitantly, he stepped closer and gently placed his hands on thin, bony shoulders that trembled at the contact. “You’re not okay,” he whispered. “God, Merlin, what did she do to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Fury built in the man’s eyes. He spun to the tormentor. “What did you do to him?!”</p><p> </p><p>She grinned. “Welcome, dear brother. I admit, I expected to see you here much sooner. Merlin did too – he kept screaming your name, as if he expected you to come rushing to his rescue. But you never did, and now he-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Morgana!</em> What. Did. You. Do?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing less than he deserved, I assure you. And now, Arthur Pendragon, it is your turn.”</p><p> </p><p>The name echoed in his head and now, with the face to match, the significance of the name slammed home.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Arthur Pendragon. Arthur, King of Camelot. Arthur, Once and Future King of Albion. Arthur, lord and master. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Arthur. Destiny. Vulnerable. In danger. Needs protection.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Arthur. Friend.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Your turn to <em>die,</em>” the tormentor hissed.</p><p> </p><p>She raised her hand, an incantation on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>She was going to kill him. She was going to kill Arthur. He couldn’t let that happen.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes began to burn gold-</p><p> </p><p>A desperate cry of fear and effort tore from his lips. “<em>ARTHUR!!”</em></p><p> </p><p>Power exploded.</p><p> </p><p>Wrist shackles and an ancient collar all burst in a simultaneous spray of hot metal fragments.</p><p> </p><p>Freed at last, magic shrieked through the air as twin lightning bolts of brightest white and deepest black. They converged on the threat, blasting effortlessly though any defence she may have mustered. Her scream was cut short-</p><p> </p><p>And a massive shockwave of concussive force detonated the world into darkness.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arthur groaned his way back to consciousness.</p><p> </p><p>His head throbbed sickeningly and the light that assaulted his eyes when he blinked did not help in the slightest. He winced, reluctantly rocking up into a sitting position so he could better cradle his head in his hands, and waited for the wave of dizziness to recede.</p><p> </p><p>When he finally opened his eyes properly he could only stare in shock at the sight that greeted him.</p><p> </p><p>He was sitting right in the middle of a massive crater. It was a rough circle about a mile wide, completely void of anything – trees, vegetation, rocks, and animals; everything was gone, as though a giant spoon had reached down out of the sky and just scooped out a chunk of the land. The forest continued on as normal from the edge of the crater, though, and Arthur thought he could even see three of Camelot’s horses tied where he and Gwaine had left them to investigate further on foot…</p><p> </p><p>“Gwaine!” he exclaimed, suddenly remembering his companion. He heard an answering groan from behind him and spun. The knight lay face down in the dirt a few feet away and was in the process of pushing himself upright.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?” he mumbled groggily.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned, unsure. They had snuck up on a strange little hovel that was embedded in and partially disguised by rock, searching for Morgana and-</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Merlin!”</em> Arthur yelled, leaping to his feet and looking around frantically. He remembered bursting through the door, thinking himself to be prepared for whatever he would find inside. But the Merlin he had sent off on a vacation two months ago was a very different person to the pale, skeletal creature who was chained cruelly to the ceiling and stood on legs that trembled with exhaustion.</p><p> </p><p>The physical condition of his friend was devastating, but by far the worst was his eyes. They had once twinkled with joy and mischief and a love for life. After the Lamia incident, those blue eyes had become dulled and haunted, but the spark was still there if you looked hard enough. In the two months since he had gone missing though… in the two months Merlin had spent as Morgana’s captive having god knows what done to him, the spark had gone out. His eyes, windows to the soul, looked defeated. Broken. Lifeless. For a moment Arthur had feared that his best friend didn’t even recognise him.</p><p> </p><p>But something of the old Merlin must have survived, because as soon as Morgana had threatened Arthur’s life Merlin was doing all he could to save him. This was the first time Arthur had clearly witnessed magic being brought to bear on his behalf, and it was both incredible and frightening. For all her power, Morgana had been destroyed within seconds, and – to distract himself from the grief he should not feel for an enemy – Arthur had to wonder why Merlin had not acted earlier to save himself.</p><p> </p><p>But the magic had not stopped there, and the next thing Arthur knew he was waking up in this crater.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s eyes widened as he realised – <em>Merlin</em> had done this. Merlin’s magic had wiped out this entire section of the forest. Arthur could hardly believe that his peace-loving manservant was capable of wreaking such terrible destruction, let alone accept that he had actually done so. And yet, the evidence was all around him, stark and irrefutable. Arthur wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur!” Gwaine called. He had moved off a ways to search the area and was now urgently beckoning Arthur over.</p><p> </p><p>As Arthur approached he noticed a strange mound in the otherwise smooth depression of the crater, but it wasn’t until he was right up close that he realised it was a body half sunken into the dirt.</p><p> </p><p>Not just any body. Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>Anxiety flared within him. “Is he-”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s breathing,” Gwaine reported, kneeling down to check. “And he doesn’t seem to have any visible injuries aside from his wrists.” He sounded puzzled by the last.</p><p> </p><p>“Magic doesn’t have to inflict injuries to cause someone immense pain,” Arthur said darkly. It was naïve to hope that the absence of physical scars meant that Morgana had not tortured him.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s going to be alright, though, isn’t he?” Gwaine asked, reaching out tentatively to brush back Merlin’s hair-</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t!” Arthur caught his hand before he could make contact, shaking his head. “Bad idea. He destroyed Morgana, her hovel and this entire area; there’s no telling what he will do if we wake him.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine retracted his hand, gaze flitting around the unnatural clearing as though seeing it for the first time before returning to the crumpled figure responsible. “But he didn’t hurt us. He wouldn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t know that for sure.” Arthur knew his wariness was justified, but Merlin looked so small and vulnerable; he awoke every protective instinct Arthur had.</p><p> </p><p>“So what do we do? We can’t just leave him like this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.” Normally Arthur would not hesitate to pick Merlin up so he could rush him to Camelot and the care of Gaius, but now that he was afraid to touch him he was at a loss. “I guess we wait and hope he will wake up on his own.”</p><p> </p><p>So they waited. Arthur watched the slow rise and fall of Merlin’s chest, reassuring himself that Merlin was alive, they had really found him, and he would be coming home with them soon. He tried not to worry about the rest.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine grew restless, not doing a very good job of concealing his concern for his friend, and went to retrieve the horses. They ate some of the rations that had been packed in their saddle bags, and when it became clear that Merlin was not going to regain consciousness any time soon they set up camp around him. Ordinarily Arthur would have chosen a more defensible position rather than sitting out in the open, but after only just getting Merlin back he wasn’t about to leave him.</p><p> </p><p>Night fell and Gwaine took the first watch. Arthur didn’t think he would be able to sleep, but he must have drifted off at some point because he nearly leapt out of his skin when yelling suddenly erupted all around him.</p><p> </p><p>He was up with his sword drawn in an instant, only to have the weapon torn from his grip by an unseen blast of – <em>magic.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, calm down, it’s just me!” Gwaine was shouting. “I won’t hurt you!”</p><p> </p><p>They stood in an unnatural whirlwind, random objects from the campsite whipping violently around them. Arthur ducked to avoid a flying saddlebag and then caught sight of the source of this chaos.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin!” he exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin spun, his fiery gaze clashing with Arthur’s own. The shock of their meeting was no less the second time, and it froze the scene in a moment of stunned silence. Abruptly, the air-borne objects plummeted to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin dropped back into a half-crouch, watching warily, keeping the fire between them. For a minute Arthur thought the fire light was reflecting in Merlin’s eyes, but the molten gold did not flicker or fade. It was a sign of magic, Arthur realised, and he could almost feel the power emanating from him.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you do?” Arthur asked Gwaine in a low voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing. He woke up, saw me and freaked out.”</p><p> </p><p>“His eyes…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. I thought they were only supposed to flash gold for a second after a sorcerer casts a spell, but they’ve been that colour this whole time.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur nodded, but it wasn’t just the gold that was bothering him. Merlin resembled nothing so much as a cornered animal; afraid, wild and dangerous. There was no recognition of them in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin?” Arthur called gently. He took a hesitant step forward, but Merlin flinched and Arthur was shoved back a few paces. He swallowed nervously before continuing, “It’s Arthur. There’s no need to be frightened, you’re safe now. Morgana is-”</p><p> </p><p>The flames flared; Gwaine yelped and jumped back as sparks flew everywhere.</p><p> </p><p>“-she’s gone!” Arthur added hastily. “She can’t ever hurt you again. It’s alright!”</p><p> </p><p>The fire died down, but Merlin’s defensive stance did not change, as though he expected to be attacked at any moment.</p><p> </p><p>Recognising that Merlin needed space, Arthur stepped backward. “I’m just going to sit down, Merlin,” he narrated quietly. “Gwaine is too.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin eyed them distrustfully as they lowered themselves to the ground. A pulse of magic from him skidded all the scattered weapons further back out of reach.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur did his best to appear calm and relaxed, settling into a comfortable position even while his muscles remained tense. “You look tired, Merlin,” he said softly. “You can sit down, if you want. We’re not going to hurt you. You’re safe with us.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin did not move for a long time, staring at them with gold eyes, but they just sat there waiting in patient silence until he cautiously eased himself down. He was half kneeling and half crouching, obviously ready to leap up and run at the slightest provocation, but it was a small improvement at least.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you are in there somewhere, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Please talk to us. I miss your inane prattle.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s eyes remained unblinking. He didn’t make a sound.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s chest ached at the lack of response. Merlin had been missing all this time, and now that they had him back it felt like they were too late to save him anyway. Morgana had broken him. Was there anything left of that cheerful irreverent servant, or was the Merlin they knew and loved gone forever?</p><p> </p><p>“Do you even understand me?” he asked sadly. Merlin gave no sign that he did.</p><p> </p><p>There was a clanking of armour as Gwaine shifted and Merlin flinched. Gwaine made a choked sound, almost a sob. “Gods, Merlin… I’m sorry. Not just for- I should have gone with you to Ealdor, but you felt that you couldn’t trust me anymore and for good reason, and then Morgana took you and I couldn’t find you and <em>gods</em> this is all my fault. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t blame yourself, Gwaine,” Arthur said, needing to remind himself of the same. After all, he was the one who had sent Merlin off on his own in the first place, and he should have joined the searches far more often than he had, but the truly culpable party was Morgana and unfortunately no further vengeance could be exacted upon her. They just had to focus on helping Merlin… if only he would let them close enough.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I tell you a story, Merlin?” Arthur asked. Gwaine raised his eyebrows and Arthur just shrugged slightly; it wasn’t as though either of them had a better idea at the moment and Merlin did not seem to be objecting.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s about a peasant boy from a small village and a prat of a prince. One day, the prince was being unkind to his servant during target practice. The peasant boy was new in town, and he stood up to the prince without realising who he was or what the consequences could be. Oddly enough, although he wound up in prison with the firm belief that the prince of Camelot was a complete ass, that day marked the beginning of their friendship…”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur told their story, hoping that Merlin would be soothed by the gentle cadence of his voice even if he did not understand the words. Merlin listened quietly, his head tilted to the side, and every so often Arthur thought that he was a flash of <em>something</em> in his eyes – emotion, maybe, or memory – but it was always fleeting.</p><p> </p><p>“…turns out the servant was hiding a fairly big secret. It was a bit of a shock for the King when he found out that his friend had magic.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s head jerked up at that, fear and defensiveness leaping back into his posture as he half raised himself up to fight or flee. “Hey- hey, calm down,” Arthur said, feeling guilty that his friend had ever had cause to fear him and hating that Merlin apparently feared him still. “You haven’t heard the end of the story yet. The king <em>was</em> angry at first, but he realised that it is a person’s actions, not their abilities, that defines whether they are good or evil. He knew that his servant was the truest, most trustworthy friend he could ever have, and he forgave him for his secrecy.” Arthur broke from the role of storyteller, then, needing his friend to understand that these words were spoken in earnest. “I forgave you, Merlin. Don’t you remember? I found out and it was touch and go for a while there, but we worked through it. We were okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin relaxed slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Magic was going to be welcomed back into the kingdom, and we were going to live happily ever after. But…”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered that awful moment when Gwaine had told him that Morgana had taken Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>“But it all went wrong,” he said softly. “You went missing, and we knew Morg- we knew who had you, but we tried and we just couldn’t – we couldn’t find you. I’m sorry, Merlin. I’m sorry for what she put you through. But it’s over now. You are safe now. You can trust us. Please trust me. You’re going to be okay…”</p><p> </p><p>But despite Arthur’s best efforts to draw Merlin out by trying to calm him down and jog his memory, there was no visible change in his friend. His eyes still burned a molten gold, he was still wary and tense, and he still did not speak.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur…” Gwaine said in a low voice. “Maybe he is too far gone.”<br/><br/></p><p>“No!” Arthur snapped. “I refuse to believe that! I did not come all this way to give up on him now!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shrank back at his harsh tone, and Arthur forced himself to take a deep breath. Getting angry would not help the situation at all. “Maybe he just needs time.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine gave him a sidelong glance. “Camelot is waiting for you. I can stay here with him, if you want.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt torn. He knew Gwaine had a point; he could not leave his kingdom without a king for an indefinite period of time, no matter how capable Agravaine may be as his stand-in. But he did not want to leave Merlin like this.<br/><br/></p><p>“I don’t know…”</p><p> </p><p>“We will be fine, Arthur. If what happened to Mor- to her is anything to go by, Merlin’s magic is more than capable of keeping us safe.”</p><p> </p><p>There were many unanswered questions in that regard – <em>why </em>hadn’t Merlin used his magic to escape sooner? – but perhaps talking to Gaius would bring some answers to light. And Gaius was in Camelot.</p><p> </p><p>Reluctantly, Arthur made up his mind. “Okay. But I’ll be back.” He stood and began to gather his things, but when he reached for his sword it skidded out of his reach. He sighed. “Merlin, I will not hurt you. But if I am going to travel alone, I need to be able to defend myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine frowned. “I forgot about that. You’re the King of Camelot and I am a knight sworn to your service. I cannot in good conscience let you go without protection.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine. <em>If</em> Merlin will let me take my sword.” The weapon in question was still inching away from him, much to his annoyance.</p><p> </p><p>“These woods are dangerous, and Mor- she is not your only enemy, Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well we don’t seem to have any other choice, do we?” He made another fruitless snatch for the sword, then gave up with a frustrated huff. “I have to go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Be careful, King Arthur,” Gwaine said seriously.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur nodded. “You too.” He looked to Merlin, who was watching him worriedly, something unidentifiable flickering behind his eyes. “I will see you soon, Merlin,” he promised.</p><p> </p><p>Feeling unsettled without his sword at his hip and his manservant at his side, Arthur mounted up and started to ride away.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur!”</p><p> </p><p>His horse stopped dead as a dome of golden light shot up around them.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur turned back in surprise and saw that Merlin had chased after him, a hand outstretched to control the magic, looking frantic.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, Merlin?” he asked, delighted by this first sign that Merlin recognised who he was after all. But there was no answer. “Are you afraid of being left alone? Because Gwaine is staying with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head, his gaze intense as though he was willing Arthur to read his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want me to go?” he guessed. “I’m sorry, Merlin, but I have to.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head again and stepped closer, then stopped and looked up at him meaningfully.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin frowned for a moment before he shifted his gaze to Arthur’s horse. Almost immediately, without instruction from Arthur, the horse began trotting forward.</p><p> </p><p>“Hang on!” Arthur exclaimed, pulling on the reins. They stopped, but not before Arthur noticed the way that Merlin and the golden dome had moved along with them. Arthur looked from Merlin to his mount and back again. “Did you do that?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s face whitened.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not mad if you did,” Arthur hastened to add. “But if you can communicate with a horse, why can’t you talk to me? You said my name before. You can speak, so why won’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin opened his mouth and said, “Arthur.” But the rest of the words that followed made no sense. They sounded like magical incantations, or at least like the language of the Old Religion that had not been legally spoken aloud in Camelot for over 20 years.</p><p> </p><p>“I still don’t know what you are trying to tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s flow of strange speech ceased and a frustrated expression ghosted across his face. Eventually, he beckoned Arthur over.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur dismounted, amazed that Merlin allowed him to approach. He paused when he was a few paces away, not wanting to push his luck, but Merlin closed the remaining space between them.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur,” he said, looking directly into his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>For some reason, Arthur could tell that he meant ‘<em>Trust me’. </em>Not sure what exactly he was agreeing to but sure that Merlin would not harm him, Arthur nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin raised his hands and placed two fingers against each of Arthur’s temples. Gently, Merlin’s thumbs brushed over his eyelashes, encouraging him to close his eyes. He did so, and waited a few moments.</p><p> </p><p>A peculiar sensation came upon him, as though a… presence… was nudging on his mind. He resisted at first, until he heard another calm yet insistent “Arthur” and realised that maybe this was Merlin’s way of trying to communicate. He forced himself to relax and let it happen.</p><p> </p><p>A flood of images rushed through his mind. Dark woods, bandits, soldiers, running, ambushes, fighting, Morgana, beasts, clashing swords, blood. They coalesced into something more coherent, a memory, but not his own because he could see himself fighting off two armed men at once, and a third was approaching from behind but he hadn’t seen or heard him, because he was too busy, too distracted, not aware of the danger – the man raised his axe for the killing blow – a disembodied hand appeared (Arthur’s? No, Merlin’s hand, this was his memory) and an invisible force blasted the man backwards. Arthur’s life had been saved without him even noticing.</p><p> </p><p>A series of similar occurrences flashed by quickly, followed by a scene he recalled from a siege of Camelot, with the words, “<em>I’m going to be by your side, like I always am. Protecting you.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Darkness replaced the image of Arthur’s expression of mock-despair, and then he felt the presence in his mind withdrawing.</p><p> </p><p>He blinked, and the Merlin with golden eyes stood before him, exuding as much, if not more, sincerity as he had on the day of the siege even if he had not said the words out loud.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur understood. “You want to come with me, in case something happens. You want to be able to protect me… like you usually do.” He had known prior to this, thanks to Gaius and his own deductions, but now that Arthur had seen the numerous rescues first hand he certainly had a greater appreciation for everything Merlin had done for him, even though it hurt his pride to realise how much he had unknowingly been relying on his servant’s protection.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded, the golden dome pulsing as though for emphasis.<br/><br/></p><p>“Alright,” Arthur said. “But you have to drop this glowing shield thing. It is rather… conspicuous, and I would prefer not to draw any unfriendly attention that could otherwise be avoided.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin frowned, but obediently cancelled the spell and their surroundings became clearly visible once the dome was gone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, what’s going on?” Gwaine asked, having been trapped outside the magical barrier and therefore not privy to their conversation (if such an odd exchange could be called that).</p><p> </p><p>“Change of plans. You’re both coming back with me.”</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>To be honest, Arthur was not entirely sure. But then he remembered how Merlin had reacted when Morgana had threatened his life. “I don’t think Merlin likes it when I am in danger,” he mused.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine nodded. “He takes his job seriously. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever known Merlin to let you go off without him.” He smiled. “It seems the old Merlin is still in there after all.”</p><p> </p><p>They had made progress, but Arthur knew that there was still a long way to go before they would have the old Merlin back the way he had been.</p><p> </p><p>“We should go.”</p><p> </p><p>They made ready, and just as Arthur was about to mount up again he felt a tentative tap on his shoulder. He turned and Merlin jerked away, but when Arthur made no further move he seemed to regain his nerve, creeping closer again. Slowly, he held out Arthur’s sword, offering him the pommel.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” Arthur said, and he didn’t just mean for the sword; he was honoured that Merlin trusted him enough to let him have his weapon back. He took it from Merlin as gently as he could and stepped away from him to sheath it.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin watched him for a few moments before the tension in his shoulders eased.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you ready to go home, Merlin?”</p><p> </p><p>The warlock nodded and, for the first time in two months, Arthur saw him smile.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The journey back to Camelot passed with relatively few incidents, all things considered.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was skittish and each time leaves rustled or a twig snapped, magic pulsed out from him in waves for a good fifteen minutes after. The magic didn’t appear to cause any harm, or indeed do much of anything, but Merlin seemed to take assurance from it, so Arthur suspected it was acting as a scout or something similar, telling him that there were no enemies nearby. If that was the case, such magic could come in very handy during patrols; Arthur would keep it in mind and ask Merlin about it when he was feeling more like himself.</p><p> </p><p>The only time Merlin really freaked out was when they passed through a particularly dark section of the forest – the dense canopy overhead blocking out almost all light – and Gwaine, the genius, managed to ride into a low hanging branch. Gwaine yelped in pain and swore loudly as the branch struck his face. A split second later the whole area was awash with bright light from a huge glowing blue orb that had been conjured above their heads and at the same time a heavy wind blasted outwards, felling every tree within a 10 feet radius. Gwaine apologised hastily and Arthur managed to settle him, but Merlin did not let the orb of light fade until the trees thinned out again.</p><p> </p><p>They encountered no bandits or vicious beasts, though, and by the time darkness fell they had reached Camelot’s outer walls.</p><p> </p><p>With most of its citizens asleep in their beds, the city was quiet and peaceful. So it seemed to Arthur, but as they approached the gates Merlin sent out another strange pulse of magic and then recoiled as if stung. Faster than any mortal should have been able to move, he had fled back to the relative safety of the tree-line. Arthur had barely worked out where Merlin had gone when an invisible cord of power encircled his waist and yanked him to Merlin’s side. Before Arthur had a chance to recover, the warlock pushed Arthur behind himself, standing between him and the city as though he were some sort of bodyguard and there was something within Camelot’s walls that Arthur needed to be protected from.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, we’re home,” Arthur said, trying not to freak out about the magical man-handling. “We’re safe here.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“We made it back to Camelot. Everything is going to be okay now.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head more adamantly, his magic pushing Arthur further back into the trees.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur tried to dig his feet into the ground. “Merlin, stop!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin turned to look at him but, far from appearing apologetic, his expression was channelling a distinct <em>“Arthur, you are</em> not<em> listening to me” </em>vibe. He practically simmered with frustration and Arthur considered that going against the wishes of a powerful warlock was perhaps not his smartest move.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s magic gave him another push.</p><p> </p><p>“What, you want us to leave again?”</p><p> </p><p>A glimmer of relief passed over Merlin’s face. He nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin didn’t answer.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, this is my city. I am the King. I can’t stay away indefinitely.”</p><p> </p><p>A pulse of magic produced an echo of the golden dome that Merlin had conjured around them earlier.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur reached out to touch the gossamer shield, feeling the hum of his servant’s magic beneath his fingertips. “I understand that you are trying to protect me. If you were happy for us to travel all this way, but now you want me to stay away from Camelot, I can only guess that there is a threat within the city walls. Is that what you are trying to say?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“What is the nature of this threat?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin just tilted his head and looked at him with glittering gold eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me, Merlin. Or sign it out or – I don’t know, can you show me, like you did before?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin obediently stepped towards him and raised his hands. Arthur braced himself for the weird form of communication, wincing his eyes shut, but the touch Merlin’s fingers to his temples never came. Arthur gave his servant a questioning look, but Merlin just shook his head, arms dropping to his sides.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur tried not to let his frustration seep into his voice. “Why not?”</p><p> </p><p>No explanation was forthcoming, but Arthur thought he could read fear and a hint of mistrust on Merlin’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever it is, I promise I’ll listen to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head again, backing away.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur blew out a hard sigh. Patience had never really been one of his virtues. “This is getting us nowhere. Merlin, I’m entering the city. If there is a threat inside Camelot, I cannot abandon my people to face it alone. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, but I’d like to have you by my side.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin appeared upset by his decision but he offered no further protest, reluctantly allowing the faint shield to fall so Arthur could pass through. For a few awful seconds Arthur thought Merlin wasn’t coming, but then he heard the soft footfalls of his servant following after him.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything okay?” Gwaine asked when they reached the gates. He held out the reins of their horses, but Arthur figured it was best not to remount. The horses were rather attuned to Merlin and his edginess was bound to wear off on them. The last thing they needed was for the horses to bolt – heaven knows how Merlin would react.</p><p> </p><p>In answer to Gwaine’s question, Merlin shook his head tightly, frowning.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin thinks there is something dangerous inside Camelot,” Arthur explained, “but he won’t say what. Keep your eyes peeled.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was strung as tight as a bowstring as they passed under the shadow of Camelot’s outer wall. Arthur wished he could do something to calm him, but even a gentle squeeze of his shoulder could send him into a panic. Arthur kept telling himself that Gaius would know what to do. They just had to get Merlin to his guardian in one piece.</p><p> </p><p>“Halt! Who goes there?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin jumped in alarm and his hand was up in an instant, magic ready to be released.</p><p> </p><p>“It is I, your King,” Arthur told the guards hurriedly, stepping into the light of their torches. “Put down your weapons.”</p><p> </p><p>Sword tips lowered to the ground, the guards bowed. “Sorry, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur cast a wary eye to Merlin and was relieved to see that he, too, had disarmed. “Do not apologise; your vigilance is to be commended. What news of the city?”</p><p> </p><p>“All is well, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“No unusual disturbances?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>He glanced to his servant again, curious to know his response. Merlin did not seem surprised that the city was quiet, but neither did he look reassured. Perhaps his magic could sense something the guards could not detect.</p><p> </p><p>“That is good to hear. Carry on.”</p><p> </p><p>The guards bowed respectfully and the trio passed them by.</p><p> </p><p>They made it to the castle without being challenged by anyone else, though a patrol of guards did nod to them when they crossed paths. If anything, though, Merlin was more jumpy than ever. His eyes skittered everywhere, he startled at shadows and his steps slowed to a snail pace when they entered the courtyard. Arthur tried to coax him along but Merlin wasn’t making it easy.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll see to the horses,” Gwaine said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Arthur’s gratitude was for more than the horses; the knight’s persistence in the search for Merlin and aid on the rescue mission had been invaluable in getting Merlin home. Gwaine’s slight nod showed that he understood.</p><p> </p><p>The night grew quieter as the sound of the horses’ hooves faded into the distance. When Arthur and Merlin reached the steps that led up to the castle, Merlin stopped moving altogether. His face was drastically pale.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re frightened,” Arthur realised sadly. “Merlin, you must know I will let no harm come to you. I promise. This is your home; you should feel safe here.”</p><p> </p><p>When Merlin still didn’t move, Arthur was forced to wonder if Merlin had <em>ever</em> felt safe in Camelot. From day one, the threat of execution had been hanging over his head. He had been forced to live in secrecy, risking his life every time he used the magic he was born with.</p><p> </p><p>“You and your magic are welcome here,” Arthur said. “I swear it.”</p><p> </p><p>Finally, reluctantly, Merlin began to ascend the steps. There was a pained rigidity to his movements and Arthur remembered anew that he had been suffering at Morgana’s hands for over two months. After spending so long chained to a ceiling, starving, and having unimaginable horrors done to him… it was a miracle he had made it this far. Arthur figured that magic was the only thing keeping him upright and he worried that, when the gold faded from his eyes, it would be because the last of Merlin’s strength was gone.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur hovered behind his servant, ready to catch him should he fall. He almost made it to the top without incident but, just as he was about to climb the final step, a figure appeared in his path.</p><p> </p><p>“Sire!” Agravaine greeted him warmly. “I was informed of your arrival-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin lurched backwards with a startled cry of “Arthur!” and nearly bowled his king over in the process. Considering how thin he had become during his incarceration, he had remarkable momentum. As Arthur struggled to regain their balance, he almost thought that magic might be actively trying to push them down the stairs. They skidded down three steps before Arthur could right them.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, easy, Merlin,” Arthur soothed. “It’s okay, it’s just Uncle. You have nothing to fear from him-”</p><p> </p><p>But suddenly they were airborne, hurtling backwards off the stairs. Arthur flashed back to the day he had discovered Merlin’s magic – this feeling of an invisible force blasting him through the air was the same, except this time Merlin was coming with him. He had a split second to wonder if they had come all this way only to die, and then the ground was rushing up to meet them. He braced himself-</p><p> </p><p>They stopped short scant inches from the ground. Arthur wondered at the strange feeling of weightlessness, but gravity swiftly returned and the impact knocked the breath out of him. Merlin was already scrambling away, back the way they had come, and he snagged Arthur’s arm to drag him along.</p><p> </p><p>“Sire! Are you alright?” Agravaine called, rushing down the stairs to check on him.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin pulled more urgently.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, yes, I’m- Merlin, <em>stop</em>. It’s okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“You could have been killed!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine-”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that Merlin? Did he do that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, he- No, don’t look at me like that, he didn’t mean to. It was an accident, wasn’t it, Merlin? Merlin- <em>Merlin</em>, stop, we’re fine, we can trust Agravaine-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin stopped struggling. He looked up at Arthur and there was something in his eyes, almost akin to despair.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay to make mistakes,” Arthur assured him gently. “I know you’re scared. It’s alright, Merlin, you didn’t hurt me. It’s going to be alright.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin closed his eyes, veiling the golden orbs. He slumped to his knees and would have fallen flat on his face if Arthur hadn’t caught him. He wasn’t quite unconscious, but it was clear that all the fight was gone from him.</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine frowned. “His magic almost killed you, Arthur-”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t start with me. Merlin has been through a terrible ordeal; I must get him to Gaius immediately.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine bowed quickly. “Of course, sire, but if I may ask… where did you find the boy? The other search parties turned up nothing. Did he escape? Or was he lying by the wayside somewhere, left for dead?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur scooped Merlin into his arms, determined to carry him this time to avoid further incident. “No, we found Morgana’s hut.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine froze. “Lady Morgana? Was she there?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. But we don’t need to worry about her anymore.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why, what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s dead,” Arthur said shortly, not in any mood to discuss the matter further. The grief he felt for the death of his half-sister was a raw wound he was trying to ignore. It was a mess of blood and betrayal and anger and regret and he couldn’t deal with it right now. “If you’ll excuse me, Uncle.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” Agravaine said stiffly. He probably didn’t appreciate being snubbed, but Arthur couldn’t care less at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur took the stairs two at a time and made it to the physician’s chambers in record time.</p><p> </p><p>“Gaius!”</p><p> </p><p>The old man had been lying in bed but he could have only been sleeping fitfully because, when Arthur burst into the room, he sat bolt upright. “Sire, what-?” His eyes fell on the bundle in Arthur arms. “<em>Merlin!” </em>he gasped.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s in a bad way, Gaius-”</p><p> </p><p>The old man rushed over to his ward, staring down into his face like it was his salvation. “Alive,” he croaked. “You found him. He’s alive.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. He is safe now.”</p><p> </p><p>Tears glistened in Gaius’ eyes. “I do not even know the words to thank you, sire. You did not give up on him. You brought him back to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur looked away, unable to accept his gratitude. He should have found Merlin sooner. “Maybe not all of him, Gaius. He’s – he’s not okay. What she did to him…”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius sobered. “You must tell me everything, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur laid his servant out on the infirmary bed. He tried to move back, but one of Merlin’s hands had fisted in his shirt. Considering that not so long ago Merlin had shied away from any sort of contact, the fact that he was trying to maintain a connection with Arthur spoke volumes. Arthur pulled over a chair to ensure he could stay close. “I’m right here, Merlin,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s eyes peeked open and he looked at Arthur from beneath his lashes. There was uncertainty there, but also hope. Arthur silently vowed not to let him down. “It’s okay,” he repeated softly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re home, Merlin,” Gaius said. His voice wavered, reminding Arthur that he was not the only one who had grieved in Merlin’s absence. The past two months had been rough for the old man. Arthur feared it would not get easier any time soon.</p><p> </p><p>“You remember Gaius, don’t you, Merlin?” Arthur prompted. He didn’t know if it was too much to hope for.</p><p> </p><p>Cautiously, Merlin shifted his gaze to his guardian. He didn’t shy away; that was something.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius, however, drew in a sharp intake of breath. “How long have his eyes been like that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Since early yesterday morning,” Arthur replied grimly. It was difficult to believe Merlin was truly returned to them without being able to see the familiar spark of life and light and mischief in his blue eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a long story.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius began to carefully check over his ward. “I’m listening.”</p><p> </p><p>As Gaius set about cleaning and bandaging the wounds around Merlin’s wrists, Arthur explained about finding the magic wards and everything that had transpired after.</p><p> </p><p>“Morgana is dead, then,” Gaius said.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin flinched at the name and a glass vial on the workbench shattered. Arthur quickly reached out to sooth him. “She can’t hurt you anymore,” he assured Merlin. Unable to meet Gauis’ gaze, he focused on his servant as he confirmed, “She’s dead.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius sighed heavily. “I am sorry, sire. For all that she was an enemy of Camelot, I know she still meant a great deal to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“She would have continued to hurt people, had she lived. And after what she did to Merlin… I am not sure it is any less than she deserved.”</p><p> </p><p>“Even so.”</p><p> </p><p>Gauis was validating Arthur’s feelings, and it eased the twisted knot inside him a little. “Thank you,” he said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin has been like this since he awoke in the crater?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. His magic has been all over the place. The only thing he responds well to is – well, me. I think he recognises me. Sometimes.”</p><p> </p><p>“That is not surprising, sire. His magic knows you as his soul brother; his destiny. Even if all else is lost, that bond remains forever.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you saying that the only part of Merlin that has survived is his magic?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do not know. It is possible that the Merlin we know and love is merely in hiding and may be drawn out with enough care and patience. But yes, for now I believe we are dealing with the part of him that is wholly Emrys.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. “Emrys? I’ve heard that name somewhere before.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is the name given to Merlin by the Druids. He is spoken of in prophecy as the one who will protect and give rise to the Once and Future King.” At Arthur’s raised eyebrows, he elaborated, “That is you, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“There are prophecies about us?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire. It is foretold that together you will unite Albion.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t put much stock in fortune-telling, but he seized this news as cause for hope. “Merlin will be fine, then. He has to be, if there is work yet to be done.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing is set in stone,” Gaius warned. “Besides, the prophecies say also that Morgana-” Another bottle shattered and Gaius quickly corrected, “that <em>she</em> is the darkness to his light. They do not state who will be victorious in the end.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s gone.”</p><p> </p><p>“For all intents and purposes, so is Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>That is not what Arthur wanted to hear. He wanted Merlin safe and whole and calling him a dollop-head again. “There must be something you can do to help him.”</p><p> </p><p>The old man sighed. “Aside from the injuries to his wrists and a severe case of malnourishment, there is nothing physically wrong with him. If I am correct in thinking that Merlin’s consciousness has retreated, then this is a battle for his mind and I am afraid I do not know how to draw him out. For his magic to be manifesting in this way… he is so far gone, Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s still in there,” Arthur said stubbornly. “He talked to me, maybe not with words, but it was him. I <em>know</em> he’s still in there.”</p><p> </p><p> “I hope you are right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever it takes, Gaius. I am going to get him back.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine was normally a happy drunk. He revelled in revelry and livened up any tavern he entered. Three quarts of mead and a flagon of wine should have had him telling outrageous tales, singing off key, swaggering in a poor imitation of dancing and laughing endlessly at anything and everything.</p><p> </p><p>Today he couldn’t seem to find anything to laugh about.</p><p> </p><p>He stared blankly into the bottom of his tankard, not caring enough that it was empty to go up to the bar for a refill.</p><p> </p><p>He had visited this tavern the first time he had come to Camelot, drinking himself into trouble as always. Merlin had bailed him out. He had smoothed things over with the innkeeper, lugged Gwaine home and later helped pay for the drinks bill. In his drunken state, Gwaine had told him he was the best friend he’d ever had, and it was true.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had taken care of him when he was wounded, put up with him when he was drunk, commiserated with him over the loss of their fathers, and had slowly but surely drawn out the best in him. He had made him want to be a better man. Through Merlin, Gwaine had found a home and a purpose. He owed Merlin everything he had.</p><p> </p><p>How poorly he had repaid him.</p><p> </p><p>What the Lamia had made him do was one thing. He would carry the guilt of hurting Merlin like that to his grave, but he had been under a powerful spell. Even so, he should have tried harder to make amends. He should have found a way to regain Merlin’s trust. He should have convinced Merlin to let him accompany him to Ealdor. He should have been there to protect him.</p><p> </p><p>He should have found him sooner.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine slumped at the table and blew out a world-weary sigh. There was no point in drinking any more. No amount of liquor could erase the memory of finding Merlin strung up in that hut.</p><p> </p><p>“Gwaine?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine grunted an acknowledgement, not bothering to look up. He should have known that the other knights would turn up here; this was their favourite haunt and they usually shared a few drinks after their evening patrol.</p><p> </p><p>“No luck?” Leon asked sympathetically. He signalled the bartender for a round of drinks and Gwaine couldn’t muster up the energy to decline.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Gwaine,” Elyan said. “I know how much Merlin meant to you.”</p><p> </p><p>Past tense. Lately everyone had been speaking about him as though he was already dead. Two months was longer than anyone could be expected to hold out, assuming that Morgana had not just killed him on the spot, and the others had lost hope.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine had refused to give up. He knew Merlin was stronger than he looked and he knew better than to bet against him.</p><p> </p><p>He had never considered the possibility that Merlin might not be okay.</p><p> </p><p>“We found him,” he said dully.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Are you serious?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Gwaine – that’s great news!” Leon clapped him on the back, grinning broadly. “How could you start celebrating without us?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine wished that they had a reason to celebrate. Maybe if they had learned that Merlin had died a quick and painless death…</p><p> </p><p>Percival’s brow creased. “Gwaine? Is Merlin okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Wordlessly, Gwaine shook his head. Useless tears welled up in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not – Gwaine, tell us he’s not dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Death is a mercy Morgana would not grant him.” He gulped down another drink, out of reflex more than anything. It did nothing to dull the pain.</p><p> </p><p>“What did she do?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine didn’t know, for sure, but torture was not a strong enough word to describe what Morgana must have done to break the strongest man Gwaine had ever known. “She ruined him. He was everything that is good and right in this world, and she took all of that away.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you brought him home.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine shrugged. “What little is left of him.”</p><p> </p><p>“You make it sound like he will never get better.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine had to be realistic. Two months of torture at the hands of a sorceress was more than any man could take. “He probably won’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“No! Gwaine, you didn’t give up on him before, don’t give up on him now,” Leon said fiercely.</p><p> </p><p>That was easy for him to say. He hadn’t seen the look in Merlin’s eyes when he first awoke. He had been wild, crazed, terrified.</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t we all go and see him together?” Elyan suggested. “Let him know he has the support of his friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine shook his head. “We lost that right. If we go in there now, his magic is liable to kill us.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what do we do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait,” Gwaine said. He glanced at Leon. “And hope.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Morgana smiled, slow and sinister. “Do you want to know what I am going to do to Arthur?”</em>
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  <em>“Nothing,” Merlin rasped. His throat was hoarse from screaming but he wouldn’t let her taunts go unanswered. “I won’t let you.”</em>
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  <em>A bout of pain struck him and her cruel laughter echoed around the hut. “You think you can stop me?”</em>
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  <em>Merlin sucked in a heaving breath. He forced himself to raise his head and glared at her defiantly. “When have I not?”</em>
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  <em>Morgana’s eyes narrowed. “I admit, I was at a loss to explain why my every attempt on Arthur’s life failed, but I did not know then what I know now. I underestimated you.”</em>
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  <em>Merlin smirked a little. “Everybody does.”</em>
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  <em>“I shall not make that mistake again. You shall remain my prisoner until Arthur is dead. With your magic bound, Arthur is defenceless.”</em>
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  <em>“You will not hurt him.”</em>
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  <em>“The agonies that Arthur will suffer before I finally allow death to claim him will be… unimaginable.”</em>
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  <em>Without warning her eyes flashed gold. Merlin’s body contorted as magic wrenched at his insides. His every nerve ending was set alight. The scream caught in his throat this time, choking him, denying him oxygen. Suspended by the chains around his wrists he writhed helplessly, hopelessly. Death beckoned. He craved that sweet oblivion and almost forgot why it was that he fought so hard to live.</em>
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  <em>But Arthur’s name rose in his mind.</em>
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  <em>He vowed to hold on, just a little longer.</em>
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  <em>After an eternity Morgana gave a careless flick of her hand and the spell released him.</em>
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  <em>Merlin slumped. Blood trickled down his arms but he could barely feel the damage the manacles had inflicted. It was nothing compared to Morgana’s magic.</em>
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  <em>“Well, unimaginable to most,” she said. “Though once I’m through with you, you will have a fair idea of Arthur’s suffering.”</em>
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  <em>Merlin lacked the strength to get his feet under him again. He couldn’t stand to face her, but he refused to be cowed.</em>
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  <em>“You… will not… hurt Arthur.”</em>
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  <em>“Just try and stop me.” She spread her arms in invitation. “Come on, Merlin. Do it now. Strike me down.”</em>
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  <em>He tried, tentatively, to draw upon his magic. It rose slowly and Merlin almost dared to hope, but before he could give voice to a spell his magic flinched away from the cold metal encircling his throat. Merlin tugged at it harder, but his magic coiled tightly in the centre of his chest again and refused to be summoned.</em>
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  <em>Morgana smirked. “You see, Merlin? For all your bravado, you are helpless against me.” She leaned closer. “I think I will begin by stripping the flesh from Arthur’s bones.”</em>
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  <em>Merlin jerked at his chains, a snarl on his lips.</em>
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  <em>“I shall use the dagger he gave to me for my birthday. The blade will slice through his skin like butter and his blood will spill like wine. He will try to be brave at first, like Daddy taught him. But as the blood pools beneath him and the crows begin to feast upon his raw flesh he will no longer be able to contain his cries.”</em>
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  <em>“No,” Merlin growled. </em>
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  <em>“Naturally, that much pain and blood loss should be enough to kill a man, but Arthur will not be so lucky. My magic will preserve him long enough for him to feel every bone in his body shatter like glass. I will tear him apart, piece by piece, but I will leave his eyes until the last. He will watch as I reach into his chest and crush his beating heart within my fist. Still his soul will linger, just long enough to feel his body go up in flames. Then, at long last, Arthur Pendragon will be dead, and I will assume my rightful place upon the throne of Camelot.”</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“I will never let that happen.”</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“You won’t have a choice. You will bear witness to Arthur’s destruction and then you, too, will die. Painfully.”</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“I won’t let you kill him.”</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>Morgana just laughed.</em>
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  <em>“I won’t let you!”</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>“Oh, face it, Merlin. Arthur is going to die and there is nothing you can do about it.”</em>
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  <em>Merlin clenched his fists. Molten rage was bubbling up within him, wild and reckless and thirsty for blood. Instinct summoned his magic and suddenly the barriers were gone.</em>
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  <em>Merlin did not hesitate. Every ounce of his strength and power and fury was poured into a single blast of magic.</em>
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</p><p>
  <em>There was an almighty explosion in the hut-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And Merlin woke up.</p><p> </p><p>The reality of new, familiar surroundings registered a split second too late.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had only been gone from Camelot for a few days, though looking at the enormous pile of work that awaited him you would think entire months had passed. He didn’t want to leave Merlin but he had been distracted from his duties ever since Merlin had gone missing and he knew it was time to begin making up for it.</p><p> </p><p>He was bogged down in meetings with his councillors and audiences with his citizens and stacks of papers to be signed and legislation to be reviewed and army reports to be read and supply requisitions to be approved, and all the while the only thing he could think about was his servant. The burden of being King had never seemed so heavy before and Arthur was beginning to realise it was because Merlin had always been there to share the load.</p><p> </p><p>He needed Merlin by his side.</p><p> </p><p>Come the late afternoon, his councillors were droning on about something Arthur cared little about and was only half listening to. He found himself longing for one of Merlin’s well-timed interruptions – his sudden bouts of clumsiness never failed to disrupt the court and divert conversation to a new topic.</p><p> </p><p>An explosion was not exactly what he’d had in mind.</p><p> </p><p>The thunderous <em>boom</em> stunned the room to silence. The aftershock that swiftly followed shook the ground beneath them. Debris knocked loose from the ceiling rained on their heads.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re under attack!” someone yelled.</p><p> </p><p>The warning bells began to clang.</p><p> </p><p>Knights burst into the court, swords at the ready.</p><p> </p><p>“There has been an explosion in the east wing of the castle, my lord!” Sir Leon reported.</p><p> </p><p>“Casualties?”</p><p> </p><p>“Unknown, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are we besieged?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, sire. There is no enemy at our gates.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered Merlin’s warning. He should have listened to him. “Unless the enemy is already within our walls.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur drew his sword. “On me!”</p><p> </p><p>He led the knights out into the hall and they made haste toward the east wing. Arthur’s mind whirred through the possibilities, trying to imagine who the traitor could be. But if they had truly meant him harm, why had the explosion occurred so far away from the throne room?</p><p> </p><p>Unless he wasn’t the target.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s heart filled with dread when he realised where they were headed. The trail of destruction led them directly towards the physician’s chambers. To Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>He broke into a run, pulling ahead of his knights.</p><p> </p><p>When he got there he stopped short. He could only stare in shock.</p><p> </p><p>The chambers weren’t there anymore.</p><p> </p><p>The door had been blown from its hinges and lay in broken splinters at the end of the corridor. The walls were a mess of crumbled masonry; even the outer walls of the castle had not been able to withstand the force of the blast. Arthur could see out into the courtyard below where the shattered contents of the physician’s workshop were strewn amongst fallen stones. Soldiers were helping to pull wounded civilians out of the rubble. Most were able to hobble away, battered and bruised but otherwise unharmed. Others were covered in blood, unmoving – dead or unconscious, Arthur didn’t know. Normally those who were injured would be brought straight here to the physician, or else Gaius would be summoned to the scene.</p><p> </p><p>But if Gaius had been in his chambers at the time of the explosion the chances of survival were next to none.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe he had been out on his rounds, or gathering supplies. Arthur dared to hope so.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin would not have gone anywhere, though. Last night Gaius had given him a sleeping draught when it became clear that Merlin was not going to fall asleep willingly, and he had still been unconscious when Arthur checked in on him briefly at lunch time.</p><p> </p><p>If he was the intended target…</p><p> </p><p>“Search for survivors,” Arthur croaked.</p><p> </p><p>His knights fanned out, picking their way carefully across the wreckage.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur waited with bated breath, terrified that all they would find would be Merlin’s remains. He didn’t know how he would cope if he lost Merlin again so soon after finding him.</p><p> </p><p>“Here!” Elyan called. The other knights joined him in pulling stones and splintered wood away from an oddly-shaped mound in the rubble.</p><p> </p><p>Golden light blinded them, making the knights recoil in alarm.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that?” Leon demanded, drawing his sword.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine knocked his sword arm away. “No, don’t! It’s Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, Arthur recognised the glow from the shield Merlin’s magic generated when he felt threatened.</p><p> </p><p>He breathed a silent sigh of relief. Merlin was alive. “Alright, everyone stand down. I’ll handle this.”</p><p> </p><p>He took the place of his knights and pulled away the last of the debris. “Merlin?” he called, laying a gentle hand on the surface of the shield. It buzzed against his skin, almost in recognition, and after a few moments the shield dropped to reveal one skinny, golden-eyed manservant. He was huddled into a ball, peeping out at Arthur over knobbly knees.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Merlin,” Arthur said. “You okay?”</p><p> </p><p>He gave a hesitant nod.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shrank in on himself a bit and didn’t meet Arthur’s gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Was this deliberate? Did someone attack you?”</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, Merlin shook his head twice.</p><p> </p><p>“It was an accident? Who- oh.” Arthur remembered the crater back at Morgana’s hut. “<em>You</em> did this? Merlin-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin cringed away, ducking his head under his arms as if to ward off a blow.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I didn’t – I’m not mad.” Well, he was trying not to be, even though Merlin had just blown a hole in his castle. “I just want to understand what happened. Did someone try to wake you, or…?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head. Arthur scrubbed a hand through his hair, trying to curb his impatience. Merlin was far easier to handle when he was chattering incessantly.</p><p> </p><p>“Show me. Come on, Merlin, I want to help but I can’t unless you tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”</p><p> </p><p>It took some time, but finally Merlin reached out a trembling hand and touched his fingertips to Arthur’s forehead. He closed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>A memory that wasn’t his own slipped into Arthur’s mind. He watched Morgana taunt his servant and heard Merlin’s stubborn defence of his king. It was the sort of stupidly brave thing that Merlin would do – defy a sorceress when he was at her mercy because he was too loyal for his own good – but it cost him dearly. Morgana’s eyes flashed gold and as Merlin screamed the entire scene imploded into darkness. Arthur felt an echo of the pain Morgana had inflicted on him and an involuntary cry escaped his lips.</p><p> </p><p>“Sire!”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur kept his eyes firmly closed even as he waved off his knights. “No, I’m fine.” He wasn’t – it <em>hurt,</em> and he felt sick as his vision returned and he was forced to listen to his sister describe in detail the tortures she had planned for him. But he would not break the connection until Merlin was ready.</p><p> </p><p>When he concentrated, Arthur could sense the rage that Merlin had felt at Morgana’s words. Arthur noticed the collar again, wondering at its significance, but he was distracted by the build-up of magic as Merlin prepared to fight back. Arthur braced himself.</p><p> </p><p>The scene abruptly changed, bringing the physician’s chambers into focus shortly before everything exploded.</p><p> </p><p>The memory ended with a flash of gold as memory-Merlin threw up a hasty shield and the roof caved in. Even within his protective shell the noise of falling masonry was deafening.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s hand pulled away and Arthur opened his eyes. “You had a nightmare,” he surmised.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Was it a memory?”</p><p> </p><p>Another nod.</p><p> </p><p>The pain he had felt… he knew Merlin had been shielding him from experiencing the worst of it, and that was just a fraction of the torture Merlin had faced at Morgana’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>Two <em>months.</em></p><p> </p><p>God. No wonder Merlin was so messed up.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin frowned, his gaze skittering around to the destruction all around them before returning to Arthur’s face. He tilted his head as if to say <em>Shouldn’t I be the one apologising?</em></p><p> </p><p>“If I had found you sooner…”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head, touching his palm to Arthur’s cheek in a clear gesture of forgiveness.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re safe now though, you know that, right? No one is going to hurt you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin pulled back immediately, fear and distrust leaping back onto his features.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it? Merlin – <em>Merlin,</em> if you would just <em>tell</em> me what’s wrong maybe I could do something to actually fix it!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin remained as tight-lipped as ever and Arthur’s annoyance crept back in.</p><p> </p><p>“So what’s your solution, then? Keep blowing up my castle and hurting innocent people until the threat is destroyed, along with everything else in my kingdom?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin flinched at his tone and the shield abruptly snapped back into place, blocking Arthur out.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin. Merlin!” He rapped on the shield and it repelled his hand with a sharp shock of warning. He shook out the sting, on the verge of snarling with frustration. “<em>Merlin</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>“Fabulous work, princess,” Gwaine drawled sarcastically. “Anyone ever tell you you’ve got a great bedside manner?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s being stubborn!”</p><p> </p><p>“He just spent two months being tortured by someone he used to consider a close friend. Is it any big surprise that he’s got trust issues?”</p><p> </p><p>“When have I ever given him reason not to trust me?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine raised his eyebrows as if to say <em>‘Remember that time you found out he had magic and nearly beheaded him on the spot?’</em></p><p> </p><p>“Don’t answer that,” Arthur snapped. “Since you’re such an expert, you stay with the accident waiting to happen. Percival, go and assist with the rescue effort. Elyan, find Gauis and bring him back here to help with the casualties. Leon, ensure that the people know that we are not under attack – tell them one of Gaius’s potions backfired but the danger has passed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, sire,” the knights chorused.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are you going to be?” Gwaine asked.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t answer him because the truth was he didn’t know. He just needed to be away from here. He needed space to think.</p><p> </p><p>He tried his chambers first, pacing back and forth on the perfectly polished floor, but the room was too clean. His replacement servant must have snuck in again when he wasn’t looking; Arthur had told him more than once in no uncertain terms that he didn’t <em>need</em> a new manservant because Merlin was coming back. He had been quite happy to let his chambers disintegrate into a chaotic mess if it meant he would be able to pester Merlin about cleaning it up when he was found.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, if Merlin tried to use a cleaning spell now he could very well blow up the city.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur cursed, turned on his heel and stalked back out into the corridor.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur! There you are.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine was hurrying towards him. Arthur almost asked him to leave him be, but reconsidered. He needed advice and Agravaine had provided valued counsel in the past. Arthur was too close to this; he needed an unbiased opinion. He slowed his steps, allowing his uncle to catch up.</p><p> </p><p>“I heard the explosion from beyond the city walls and came as soon as I could.” Agravaine was still in his riding gear - he had heard that there was a dispute in a local town that required royal oversight and had taken the day to deal with it in Arthur’s stead. “After witnessing the scene in the courtyard and seeing the damage to the citadel, I feared the worst. I am most relieved to find you unharmed.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was not a premeditated attack, uncle,” Arthur assured him. “Just a simple accident.”</p><p> </p><p>“An <em>accident</em>?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur explained what had happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Your servant had a nightmare,” Agravaine repeated.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“And nearly destroyed half of Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t that bad.”</p><p> </p><p>“Twelve people were injured, Arthur. Three of those will require intensive care.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“But he did. His <em>magic</em> did. I know he has been a loyal servant, sire, and because of that loyalty I was going to support your move to legalise magic, despite my strong misgivings. But now… Arthur, innocent people have been hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“It was an accident. It would never have happened if Merlin was in full control of his magic. He has been through a terrible ordeal; he just needs time to recover.”</p><p> </p><p>“At what cost, Arthur? This time we were lucky no one was killed. But what is to stop Merlin’s magic from lashing out again? He is a powerful sorcerer – if this is his response to a mere <em>nightmare, </em>what will happen if someone startles him, or makes a loud noise, or looks at him the wrong way?”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin would never intentionally harm anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not intentionally, no. But you said so yourself; he is not in control of his magic. That makes him dangerous. I’m sorry, Arthur, but you must face the truth. Merlin is a threat to your kingdom, to the safety of your people. Your father would never have allowed magic to run rampant in this way.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not my father, and I will not execute a man for something that is beyond his control. Besides, Merlin is a friend of mine and I owe him more than I will ever know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I understand that, sire. But you have a duty to Camelot; you cannot allow your personal feelings to get in the way. You cannot hold his life above the lives of your citizens.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin would not want him to, either. Merlin had proven more than once that he would lay his life down for the people of Camelot. If he had another freak-out and accidentally killed someone he would never be able to forgive himself.</p><p> </p><p>“What am I supposed to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Return the boy to his mother. He could be retired on a full pension and she could care for him. He would be beyond our borders; Camelot would be safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ealdor wouldn’t stand a chance against his magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then he must be placed somewhere where he can do no one harm.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t exile him. I’m the only one who seems to be able to get through to him. I want Merlin back, the <em>real</em> Merlin, safe and whole, and if I send him away he will be lost to us forever. If he stays there is a chance I can draw him out. He can recover from this, I know he can. He just needs time.”</p><p> </p><p>“And a space that can hold him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” Unfortunately, Merlin’s magic was volatile and Arthur couldn’t think of a single room in the citadel that could withstand another explosion of that magnitude.</p><p> </p><p>“I have heard stories of a cavern, deep beneath the castle, where a dragon once dwelled.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Great Dragon, yes. But he was a prisoner.”</p><p> </p><p>“He was a creature of magic and a danger to the people. Your father spared his life, but locked him away for the sake of the kingdom.”</p><p> </p><p>“You really expect me to put Merlin in chains? How is that any different to the way Morgana treated him?”</p><p> </p><p>“If he stays willingly, the chains will not be needed. I know it is not ideal, Arthur, but I cannot see that you have any other choice. You are the king; you must act in Camelot’s best interests.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sighed. His wished there was another way, but if there was, he couldn’t see it. “You’re right, uncle.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine bowed, the slightest smile touching his lips before vanishing as though it had never been. “I’ll make the necessary arrangements immediately.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Before taking any action, Arthur knew he had to break the news to Gaius, Guinevere and the knights. They all cared about Merlin deeply and he knew this would be hard for them to hear. Even so, the horror on their faces as he described his plan for Merlin was almost enough to make him change his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Gwaine snapped. “I won’t let you take him!”</p><p> </p><p>“This is only a temporary measure,” Arthur said and he hoped it was true. He wanted Merlin back just as much as they did.</p><p> </p><p>“Surely it is a bit extreme,” Gwen said. “Merlin didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know that. This isn’t a punishment, it is simply the best way to keep everyone safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin doesn’t seem dangerous,” Elyan said. “He’s still just… Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>“You saw what he did. He is not in control of his power and that makes him a very real threat, one that cannot be ignored no matter how we feel.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire, please. Merlin needs around the clock care right now. He needs warmth and sunlight and fresh air, none of which he will get in that cave!”</p><p> </p><p>“Gaius I understand your concern, but short of sending him away from Camelot I don’t see that we have another option. You will be permitted to visit him at any hour of the day and we will do everything we can to make him comfortable.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire, if he needs a guard we are more than willing to volunteer.”</p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate that, Leon. But none of us are equipped to handle wild magic and I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. Merlin needs space, and this is the best way to give it to him. When he settles down a bit we can talk about reintegrating him into the palace, but until then I am afraid he must stay in the cavern. It is in everyone’s best interests.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about Merlin’s best interests?” Gwaine challenged.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur met his glare levelly. “The Merlin we know would never be able to live with himself if he found out that his magic was hurting people. If he could speak for himself, which would he choose? The innocent people of Camelot, or his own freedom?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine clearly knew the answer because his glare deepened but he made no claim that Merlin would rather put himself first. Anyone who knew Merlin at all knew he would give his life for the kingdom. But Gwaine wasn’t backing down. “So you admit this is imprisonment.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is provisional confinement, until such a time as Merlin’s control over his magic returns.”</p><p> </p><p>“You would have him trade Morgana’s hut for your cave. Some rescue.”</p><p> </p><p>“We <em>will</em> get him back, I promise you. I promise all of you. I am not giving up on him. He<em> will</em> get better, it is just going to take some time.”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine muttered under his breath, but no one offered up any more objections.</p><p> </p><p>If Arthur was honest, though, it didn’t feel like a victory. And the worst was yet to come.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>It was with a heavy heart that Arthur went to retrieve his servant. Gwaine had grudgingly told him where Merlin was; he had managed to coax Merlin away from the disaster zone that had been the physician’s chambers and into the relative security and privacy of Arthur’s own quarters. Arthur wished he could just stay there. If it was only his life at stake Arthur would have borne the risk of Merlin’s presence, but he was the king and Camelot couldn’t afford to lose him. He had to set aside his personal feelings and do what was right for the kingdom.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sighed and pushed open the doors.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was sprawled in front of the fireplace, staring into the dancing flames. They appeared to have a life and form all of their own, twisting and weaving into the shape of a dragon that darted and dove among the logs, soared on rising smoke and breathed sparks across the coals. It was magic, gentle, playful magic, entrancing to behold.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Arthur called softly.</p><p> </p><p>A contented hum filled the air around him, buzzing against his skin in welcome. The magic recognised him and it wasn’t pushing him away.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had settled. He was calm. He hadn’t startled when Arthur entered the room and his magic seemed to be under control.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur approached slowly and lowered himself onto the floor. Merlin shifted to make room for him on the hearth, seeming completely at ease.</p><p> </p><p>It felt like any normal, peaceful evening. Arthur imagined that work was finished for the day, stomachs were comfortably full, life’s stressors were mellowed by wine and all that remained was the crackle of the fire and the comfortable silence between friends.</p><p> </p><p>The illusion was tempting, but in reality this was just a temporary reprieve.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur soaked it in for as long as he could. When he finally spoke it was with great reluctance. “Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Golden eyes glanced to him in silent question.</p><p> </p><p>“I need you to come with me.”</p><p> </p><p>The fire dragon perched on a glowing log, folded its wings and tilted its head as if to ask ‘why?’</p><p> </p><p>The manifestation of Merlin’s magic, wishing only to be free. The form it had taken was a sobering reminder of the last prisoner to be held in the caves below the castle.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, Merlin,” Arthur said quietly.</p><p> </p><p>The fire dragon faded into the coals and Merlin obediently climbed to his feet. The look in his eyes was so trusting as he waited for Arthur to lead him away that Arthur nearly broke down then and there. He didn’t want to do this. All he wanted was to have Merlin back, happy and healthy. He wanted Merlin by his side, where he belonged.</p><p> </p><p>“I know that you are in there somewhere, Merlin,” Arthur said. He needed to believe that it was true. “If you could just… give me a sign that you’re there, that you’re okay, that you’re in control of your magic and not the other way around…”</p><p> </p><p>Golden eyes stared uncomprehendingly at him.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur swallowed his disappointment. “Come on, then. This way.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin followed him through the castle, his soft footfalls a familiar sound but his usual chatter noticeably absent. He hesitated at the top of the stairs, staring down into the darkness.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, Merlin,” Arthur lied, lighting a torch.</p><p> </p><p>A thick layer of dust coated the stones and puffed into the air around them as they cautiously descended. No one had passed this way in years. During the two decades that the Great Dragon had been imprisoned here, trespassing had been strictly prohibited and those few who were stupid enough to disobey the law for the sake of thrills or glory did not often live to tell the tale. Since the dragon’s escape the guard had been lifted, but there had been no reason for anyone to come down this way.</p><p> </p><p>Though he followed Arthur obediently, disquiet radiated from Merlin and his steps dragged.</p><p> </p><p>“The dragon is long gone,” Arthur assured him. “I – well, actually, <em>you</em> defeated it in the end, didn’t you? I’d like to hear that story in full someday.”</p><p> </p><p>The silence was heavy. Arthur could feel eyes on the back of his head and knew that Merlin was waiting for him to explain what they were doing here.</p><p> </p><p>They walked through the tunnel and stepped out into the ‘open’ air of the vast cave. This place had contained the fury and flame of an ancient dragon; Merlin’s volatile magic could do no harm here. But compared to the scope of this cavern Merlin seemed small and fragile, hunched uncertainly in on himself with no idea what Arthur intended… until his gaze lighted on the mattress, blankets and small assortment of personal belongings that were laid out on the stone outcropping.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly. “Food and water will be brought to you, along with anything else you might want. I can arrange for more blankets if it gets too cold, and I’ll leave a lantern with you. You’ll have regular visitors – I know that Gaius and Gwen and Gwaine will all want to check on you, so you’ll probably appreciate those few moments of peace and quiet that you get in between…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh gods, don’t look at me like that.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not a prisoner. This isn’t a punishment. I just… this is safer. For everyone. You understand, don’t you Merlin? I don’t want to do this. If I had any other option….”</p><p> </p><p>The intense sorrow in Merlin’s eyes was impossible to bear; Arthur had to look away. It felt like a hand of ice was constricting around his heart, like the friendship they had been trying to rebuild was shattering into pieces that could never be made whole. This felt like a betrayal. It felt cruel. But he wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t believe it was necessary.</p><p> </p><p>In that moment, he wished he wasn’t king. He wished he could put friendship first. He wished he could take Merlin far away from here. He wished they could go somewhere warm and peaceful with blue skies and open air, somewhere with mountains and lakes and not another living soul for miles around. He wished Merlin could be free.</p><p> </p><p>The sound of clinking metal caught Arthur’s attention. He glanced up to see a long metal chain rising, seemingly of its own accord, from the depths of the cave. He recognised the thick manacle as having once been secured around the dragon’s leg. It had been reinforced by magic to be virtually unbreakable (how it had been broken to enable the dragon’s escape remained a mystery).</p><p> </p><p>Merlin caught the manacle out of the air. It rested in his palms, ridiculously large in comparison with his bony wrists. Slowly, he lifted it and hung it around his neck. It didn’t fit, it wasn’t locked, but the meaning was abundantly clear.</p><p> </p><p>“No! No, Merlin.” Arthur pulled the chains off him and flung them back into the abyss. Words could not describe the horror he had felt when he had found Merlin chained and collared in Morgana’s hut; he couldn’t believe that anyone could be capable of inflicting such cruelty on another human being. By his actions Merlin was lumping Arthur in the same category, as if he were no different to the monster who had tortured him beyond breaking point.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not like that,” Arthur insisted. “I’m not her. I’m not trying to hurt you. I just don’t know what else I can do! You <em>blew a hole </em>in my castle, Merlin. People were hurt, innocent people, and I can’t let it happen again, not if you want me to convince everyone that magic should be made legal. The people need to know that I will protect them, they need to feel safe. Right now, you are <em>dangerous.</em> By all rights I should be sending you away, but I can’t do that. Merlin, I <em>can’t.</em> I need you here, I need you close. I need you to <em>come back to me</em> and just be Merlin again.” Arthur grasped the front of Merlin’s shirt. “Please. Merlin, please forgive me. You have to understand. I’m not her, I’m nothing like her. I’m sorry, I really am. I don’t want this. I want you to come back to me, can’t you please just – talk to me, say something-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked down at the hands on his shirt. Arthur felt a sharp zap in his fingers, forcing him to let go.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin turned his back, lay down on the mattress and pulled the blanket over himself. He curled into a ball, facing away from Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin-”</p><p> </p><p>The torch flared in his hand and a hot blast of air shoved him backwards into the tunnel. It was a warning shot, something that Merlin’s magic did not often give. If he pushed harder now he was liable to get himself killed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Merlin,” he said, and quietly withdrew.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine heard footsteps coming back up the stairs – only one set, which either meant that Merlin was safely ensconced in the cave or Arthur was dead. He knew the latter was too much to hope for; even half out of his wits, Merlin was stubborn about protecting his king.</p><p> </p><p>When the glow of the torch appeared at the top of the stairs Agravaine ducked out of sight. He caught a glimpse of Arthur striding past, his face drawn. Imprisoning his friend was distressing for him.</p><p> </p><p>Good.</p><p> </p><p>But it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.</p><p> </p><p>Morgana was <em>dead.</em></p><p> </p><p>As soon as he had been able to get away Agravaine had rushed to the scene, praying that it was not true, praying that she had somehow deceived them. But she was gone. Merlin had <em>destroyed </em>her. There was not even a body to lay on a funeral pyre. The pitiful hovel that had been a home unbefitting for a queen and everything around it had been reduced to a crater. Morgana had been <em>torn apart.</em></p><p> </p><p>The grief he felt could have crippled him, but the fury that burned in his veins was stronger still.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was a murderer. Arthur had stolen Morgana’s rightful throne, Camelot had rejected their queen and Merlin had <em>killed</em> her in cold blood. He would pay for his crimes. They would all pay!</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine did not have magic at his disposal. But he had his position as Arthur’s regent and advisor. He had his knowledge of all of Camelot’s secrets. He had allies among Arthur’s enemies. And he had a thirst for vengeance that would not be sated until Merlin was dead, Arthur was destroyed and Camelot was razed to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There is something I do not understand, Gaius,” Arthur said.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius did not look up from his work. He was grinding herbs into powder, combining tinctures in a bowl and keeping an eye on a mixture that bubbled over a small flame. “I am very busy, sire. With my chambers destroyed I have lost most of my instruments and supplies, not to mention my books.”</p><p> </p><p>“Any help that you need-”</p><p> </p><p>“The only one skilled enough to aid me is currently indisposed, sire.” His tone was cold and Arthur knew the physician was still angered by his decision to move Merlin into the cave.</p><p> </p><p>“It is not my intention to hinder your efforts, but I need to know.” It was something that had been troubling him for a while.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius sighed. “What is it, sire?”</p><p> </p><p>“I did not rescue Merlin. I burst into Morgana’s hut with every intention of saving him, but he was the one who saved me. He used magic to break out of his bonds and he set off an explosion, the likes of which I have never seen before. Such <em>power</em>, Gaius.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have told me this already.”</p><p> </p><p>“But it makes no sense. If Merlin could have broken out using his magic, why did he not do so earlier? Why did he let Morgana hurt him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Morgana has long sought to uncover the identity of the one called Emrys. Merlin has made every effort to conceal his magic from her so that he might continue to protect you in secrecy.”</p><p> </p><p>“He would rather be tortured than let her know the truth?”</p><p> </p><p>“He has suffered much at her hands over the years, Arthur – her, and others like her. But no matter what they have done to him, he has never broken that vow of silence.”</p><p> </p><p>“But this time his magic should have acted to save him. After the Lamia incident you said it was reacting to even the smallest hint of a threat.”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius paused. “That is true.”</p><p> </p><p>“So why didn’t he defend himself against her? Why didn’t he escape?”</p><p> </p><p>A deep frown creased the physician’s brow. “Perhaps he could not.”</p><p> </p><p>“How can that be?”</p><p> </p><p>“The only explanation I can think of is that Morgana somehow knew of Merlin’s magic and made arrangements to contain it.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur recalled the image of Merlin chained to Morgana’s ceiling, trying to see past the skeletal frame, gaunt skin and hollow eyes. “There were markings on the manacles around his wrist. And… a metal collar around his neck.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see,” Gaius said heavily. “In the time of the Old Religion, such bindings were forged to restrain those with powerful magic. It was intended for criminals who used their magic to harm and abuse others. Their power is deeply supressed within them and cannot be called upon. Any attempts to use magic only strengthens the chains.” A shadow crossed over his face. “Merlin must have felt utterly helpless.”</p><p> </p><p>“If that is so, how did he eventually escape?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do not know for certain, sire, but Merlin is no ordinary sorcerer. His magic is not simply his own, but is drawn from the earth… and from you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me? I have no magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“You were born of magic, sire, and destiny has bound your soul with Merlin’s.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur wrinkled his nose. “You make it sound like we’re soulmates.”</p><p> </p><p>“In a way you are. Neither of you is complete without the other. I have heard you described as ‘two sides of the same coin’. You would not have become king without Merlin’s help, and he would have no purpose for his magic without you to serve and protect.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what are you saying?”</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps, Arthur, it was your arrival that enabled Merlin’s magic to act beyond the confines of the chains in order to break free of them. Perhaps he was able to drawn on your strength to do what he could not on his own.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered when their eyes had locked for the first time since Merlin had gone missing. The shock of their meeting had felt almost physical, like some sort of deep, unfathomable connection between them had been activated in that moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Then my being there did help.”</p><p> </p><p>“You saved his life, sire. And you brought him home.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur couldn’t feel any sense of accomplishment over that. “Not completely. If we share such a unique bond, why can’t I get through to him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire, you are the only one he has even attempted to communicate with. If anyone can reach him, you can. But it will take time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Time,” Arthur sighed. Since becoming King, time had seemed in short supply. “I will do what I can.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you will.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was exhausted.</p><p> </p><p>Repairs to the castle were under way, the new laws regarding magic had been drafted despite the continued objections of a select few councillors, two new knights had been inducted into the ranks of Camelot’s army and various other matters of state had been addressed. Even so, his list of duties seemed to grow longer with every passing day. He felt harried and rushed, never realising how well Merlin had kept his affairs in order and how much his little contributions had made a difference to his work load until now.</p><p> </p><p>It was late in the evening before Arthur had the chance to sit down. He sat across from Guinevere at the dining table and tried to make light conversation, but he could only pick half-heartedly at his dinner. Eventually he gave it up as a lost cause, shoving his plate aside and pushing his chair back.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not hungry.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve barely eaten at all the past few days,” Gwen reminded him. “And you’ve barely slept. You need to rest, Arthur; you need your strength.”</p><p> </p><p>“There is not enough time in a day,” Arthur said. He knew he could not shirk his duties during daylight hours, so he had been spending most of his nights visiting Merlin instead.</p><p> </p><p>Gwen easily followed his train of thought. “I checked on him half an hour ago. He will be fine for one night.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want him to feel that he is alone.” Merlin had always stayed by Arthur’s side whenever he was ill or injured or grieving; Arthur owed him nothing less.</p><p> </p><p>“You cannot help him if you are too tired to function.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will only be a few hours. I can sleep when I return.”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, I know how hard this is for you. Seeing him like this is painful. You want to fix him, to make him better somehow, and it is difficult to accept that there is nothing you can do. But the pace you are trying to set for yourself is just not sustainable. You are going to burn out at this rate and if that happens I am afraid we will lose you too. Arthur, I am truly sorry, but for your sake and for the sake of the kingdom I cannot let you-”</p><p> </p><p>“I have made up my mind, Guinevere.” Arthur moved towards the doorway, but he paused to squeeze Gwen’s shoulder briefly on his way past. He understood her concern, he just couldn’t do anything to alleviate it.</p><p> </p><p>Soul-bonded or not, he needed Merlin and Merlin needed him. It was as simple as that.</p><p> </p><p>As Arthur followed what was becoming a well-worn trail down into the caves, he wondered how Merlin would receive him. The first time he tried to visit he had ended up sitting half-way down the tunnel talking to a wall because Merlin’s magic had pushed him out. The second time Merlin had allowed him to come closer but never once glanced in his direction. Over the next few days they had graduated to sitting together in comfortable silence, and gradually Arthur had begun talking to Merlin as he always had, about anything and everything. The conversation was more one-sided than he would like, but Merlin listened attentively and the sound of Arthur’s voice seemed to put him at ease. Yesterday, though, Merlin had blown up out of nowhere while Arthur was giving him an update on the kingdom – it must have been something he said, but he had only been talking about a farmers’ land dispute that Agravaine had helped him resolve so he couldn’t imagine what had set Merlin off.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin,” Arthur called gently. He felt a trickle of air across his skin and recognised the feeling as Merlin’s magic scoping him out. “I’m coming to join you, if that’s alright.”</p><p> </p><p>The magic made no attempt to reject him so he approached cautiously and found Merlin sitting cross-legged on his mattress, staring out into the cavern. He looked to be deep in thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t think too hard, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself,” Arthur quipped. Merlin had said the same to him shortly after the Lamia incident – a burst of wit and humour that had come easily to him despite the ordeal he had suffered. Merlin was remarkably resilient and had always seemed to bounce back from whatever hardships life threw at him. He would have been okay.</p><p> </p><p>But Morgana had kicked him when he was down. She had taken an already traumatised individual and tortured him beyond the point of human endurance. What she had put him through was more than any man could take.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had loved Morgana as a sister and couldn’t find it within himself to hate her, not after her betrayal, not after what she had done to his father, not even after the harm she had brought on Camelot. But he hated her now with every fibre of his being. What she had done to Merlin was cruel and inhumane, underserved, unforgivable. Evil.</p><p> </p><p>Unconsciously his hands balled into fists as anger bubbled up within him. He wanted vengeance for the atrocities done to Merlin, he wanted to inflict the same agonies in return, he wanted to unleash every violent instinct he had, he wanted-</p><p> </p><p>A gentle hand closed over his fist, startling him out of his reverie.</p><p> </p><p>The look in Merlin’s eyes was steady, calm, reassuring. It was as though he could read Arthur’s mind and wanted to ease the turmoil there.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur sighed, letting the potent fury ebb away. “I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shrugged a little and pulled his hand away. Arthur regretted the loss of contact but he couldn’t very well grab Merlin’s hand again; they were both self-respecting men, after all. He didn’t want Merlin to think he wasn’t appreciative of the gesture, though.</p><p> </p><p>“But you’ve never cared for how things are ‘supposed’ to be, have you?” Arthur said. “You were never supposed to talk back to me or call me out when I was being an ass. You were never supposed to offer advice. You were never supposed to ride into battle with me. We were never supposed to be friends. You have turned everything about how the world is supposed to work on its head, and I am tremendously grateful to you for that. You have changed the way I see things. You have made Camelot a better kingdom, and you have made me a better man.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur realised he was spouting the sort of sentiments that he would never usually permit past his lips and felt the tips of his ears heat. If anyone else had heard that… He scowled at Merlin. “Is this your master plan? Not interrupting me so I ramble on until I say something embarrassing?”</p><p> </p><p>The corner of Merlin’s lips curved upwards, just slightly.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, now it is your turn. I can’t be carrying on this conversation all by myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Sadness crossed over Merlin’s face. He looked down at his hands, absently rubbing a thumb over his knuckles.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re not talking. I won’t deny that I miss our banter, but you don’t have to say anything. What about that thing you did before, when you showed me your memories? Maybe you could show me what you were thinking so hard about before.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked uncertain.</p><p> </p><p>“Come on. Now that I know about your magic, I would like to think there is nothing you can’t tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>Hesitantly, Merlin reached out a hand. Arthur closed his eyes, letting Merlin know that it was okay. Sure, it was the most bizarre form of communication that Arthur had ever experienced, but it was a way for him to get to know his friend better.</p><p> </p><p>He felt fingertips brush against his forehead and the nudging presence in his mind that he knew to be Merlin. He offered no resistance and soon a barrage of images was flooding his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa, slow down. There’s no rush.”</p><p> </p><p>The memories slowed and came into focus.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Merlin stared in wonder at the vast cavern stretching out before him. He would never have imagined that such a place existed beneath Camelot and he had no idea who would have called him here, or why. But his magic could sense that he was not alone. There was someone here, or something, ancient and powerful, and somehow kin. “Where are you?”</em>
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  <em>The air around him suddenly thrummed with deep magic that resonated in his bones and set his heart racing. There was a rumbling growl and the heavy beat of wings, and out of the depths of the cave appeared an enormous dragon. “I’m here.”</em>
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  <em>Merlin could only stare in shock.</em>
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  <em>The dragon settled into his perch, amusement radiating from him. “How small you are… for such a great destiny.”</em>
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</p><p>Merlin had been down here before. Not because he was lost in the vast castle or because he was morbidly curious about the monster in the dark, but because the dragon had <em>called</em> him. He had actually spoken to the dragon without being burned to a cinder. Arthur was so busy trying to wrap his mind around the implications that he barely noticed Merlin’s insult <em>“There must be another Arthur because this one’s an idiot”, </em>though he realised that this conversation had to have happened not long after Merlin had first arrived in Camelot.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“None of us can choose our destinies, Merlin. And none of us can escape it.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered how Merlin had saved him from the knife thrown by a sorceress, inspiring Uther to appoint him as Arthur’s servant. Merlin had been as displeased by the idea as Arthur had, but there had been no getting out of it. There were stuck with each other.</p><p> </p><p>Destiny.</p><p> </p><p>“It seems the universe expects us to achieve some great things together. Uniting Albion… my father never believed it was possible, but around you nothing seems <em>im</em>possible.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur wasn’t sure that Merlin was hearing him; he seemed preoccupied. The memories cycled through more meetings in this cave and Arthur listened with interest, learning more about the ancient creature that he had only thought of as a monster. It spoke mostly in riddles, he noticed, but it had timeless knowledge and power beyond imagining. It had helped Merlin save Arthur and Camelot more than once, but it had also been manipulating him to its own ends.</p><p> </p><p>With a sinking feeling, Arthur realised where these memories were leading. “Merlin, please tell me you didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>But the Knights of Medrir were an enemy Merlin did not know how to defeat, and the dragon would only give the aid he needed for a promise in return.</p><p> </p><p>“You were the one who set him free,” Arthur exhaled.</p><p> </p><p>It was written in the Knight’s Code that a man should be true to his word. Merlin had been faced with an impossible situation. If he had done nothing, Arthur and Uther would have surely been killed and the kingdom would have been at Morgause’s mercy. Had Arthur been in the same position, he probably would have done the same.</p><p> </p><p>But the consequences had been severe. The dragon had destroyed much of the city and many people had been killed.</p><p> </p><p>The attack hadn’t just been the simple, mindless rage of a beast, though. The Great Dragon was a creature of intelligence and deep emotion. Uther had exterminated the dragons, waged war against magic and imprisoned him in this cave for decades. It was little wonder that the dragon had sought revenge.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur could feel the guilt and fear rolling off Merlin in waves. “You did what you had to,” Arthur assured him. “The dragon would have found a way to escape eventually, and if it wasn’t for you we would never have been able to defeat him.”</p><p> </p><p>Some of Merlin’s tension eased at his words, and Arthur had to wonder how many more secrets like this Merlin had been keeping from him. It must have been a terrible weight to bear on his own. “Can you… can you show me what happened?”</p><p> </p><p>But rather than show the confrontation with the dragon, Merlin’s memories morphed into his first cautious steps through the mouth of a cave.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. It looked familiar, like he had been there before, but it was not within Camelot’s lands.</p><p> </p><p>A man stepped out from the shadows.</p><p> </p><p><em>The dragon lord,</em> Arthur thought. But the first word that came to Merlin’s mind was vastly different and the emotions that accompanied it slammed into Arthur like a ton of bricks.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Father.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arthur recoiled, breaking the connection between them. The real world crashed in around them; a cave just as dark and lonely as the one where Balinor had been forced to live for fear of discovery.</p><p> </p><p>Balinor. Merlin’s <em>father</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Unshed tears shone in Merlin’s eyes as he slowly lowered his hand. He didn’t meet Arthur’s gaze.</p><p> </p><p>“Balinor was your father.”</p><p> </p><p>During their mission to find the last dragon lord Arthur had known there was something wrong. Merlin had been moody and preoccupied but when Arthur asked what was upsetting him he wouldn’t give a straight answer. It had been Merlin who found him and somehow he had managed to convince the man to help when nothing Arthur had said had managed to sway him. He should have suspected something then. Arthur had been concerned by how quickly Merlin had grown attached to Balinor, but he never would have guessed that Merlin was his son.</p><p> </p><p>Two days. Merlin had known his father for all of two days, and then he had watched him die in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“No man is worth your tears.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arthur thought that Merlin gave of his heart too freely. If he had realised that Merlin was grieving for his father he never would have been so insensitive. He had only meant that Merlin shouldn’t cry for <em>him</em>, since he had known that in choosing to face the dragon he was riding to his death. He had known how much Merlin cared for him, even if the words had never been said aloud, and he didn’t want to be the reason for Merlin’s tears.</p><p> </p><p>But Merlin had saved him, like he always saved him. Arthur owed him a debt he could never repay.</p><p> </p><p>He gently squeezed Merlin’s shoulder, wishing that he had more to offer than words. “I’m sorry about your father.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin scrubbed at his eyes in an attempt to contain his emotion, but his magic gathered clouds above them and a gentle rain began to fall, expressing what he could not.</p><p> </p><p>“I know he would have been proud of you for killing the dragon in his place.”</p><p> </p><p>The rain stopped but the clouds darkened as Merlin shook his head. He reached out and showed Arthur another memory; the confrontation with the dragon. Arthur winced when he saw himself get knocked unconscious, but then he could only watch in awe as the dragon that had terrorised Camelot submitted meekly to his servant’s commands. It was a bit of a rude shock to discover that the dragon was not dead after all, but to be honest Arthur admired the fact that Merlin had shown mercy. Uther had always told him that a merciful man was a weak man, but Arthur disagreed; he believed that it was a sign of great strength.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin seemed to be waiting with bated breath for his reaction. “You did the right thing,” Arthur told him, and he meant it. It had been a decision worthy of a king, made by an unassuming servant who had never received a day’s royal training in his life.</p><p> </p><p>Surprise registered in Merlin’s features. The clouds dissipated; an outward representation of his relief.</p><p> </p><p>“There really is a lot more to you than meets the eye,” Arthur said. He had known it; the first day they met he had been able to tell that there was something about this boy who dared to stand up to a prince, he just hadn’t been able to put his finger on what it was. “My servant, not only a warlock but a dragon lord as well. You never cease to amaze me, Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s gaze was thoughtful. Arthur wondered if perhaps this had been a test to see if he could truly accept everything about who Merlin was and what he had done.</p><p> </p><p>“Is there anything else you want to tell me?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a long, pregnant pause. Arthur knew that there was something Merlin was holding back from him, something to do with the unnamed threat he seemed so sure was present in Camelot, but when Merlin opened his mouth it was only to yawn.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur tried to hide his disappointment. “Yeah, I’m tired too. You should get some rest.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur squeezed his arm gently. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>The dragon,</em> Arthur thought suddenly.</p><p> </p><p>He should have been focused on writing his speech. Calls to battle were one thing – all you had to do was stir up existing passion for home and family, and Arthur usually found that a unifying cry of “For the love of Camelot!” would inspire and embolden his men. But he was trying to find a way to announce to a people who had feared and rejected magic for more than two decades that legalising its use would be beneficial for the kingdom. The task seemed almost insurmountable and if he was going to have any hope of success he would need to give this speech his undivided attention.</p><p> </p><p>But he could not stop thinking about Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t getting better. The only word he had spoken since his rescue was Arthur’s name and it had been a long time since he said even that. The only person he tried to communicate with was Arthur, and not through lack of their trying; Gwen, Gaius and the knights were all regular visitors but they were lucky if he listened passively to their words – more often than not, his magic would forcibly evict them. He was still having nightmares and the damage his magic was causing to the cave was becoming increasingly severe.</p><p> </p><p>At this rate, it would be a long time before Merlin would be able to be integrated back into the castle, if that day ever came.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur truly believed that returning magic to Camelot was the right thing to do, but going ahead with those plans didn’t feel right without Merlin. Merlin had worked tirelessly behind the scenes to keep Camelot safe, risking his life time and again, giving everything he had and expecting nothing in return. All he had ever wanted was to be accepted for who he was, wholly and completely.</p><p> </p><p>The return of magic could lead to improved health, flourishing crops and increased security for the kingdom. It would make for a fair and just society. But ultimately, Arthur was doing this for Merlin. What point was there in allowing magic to return to the realm if Merlin and his magic were still caged? Besides, without Merlin to act as the leader and overseer of this radical change Arthur strongly doubted that it would succeed. Merlin was his proof to the people that magic could be a force for good. It would be Merlin’s assurances that gave those with magic the courage to come out of hiding. Merlin’s impeccable judge of character would be invaluable in selecting sorcerers to fill positions in the government, industries and army. Mostly importantly, Merlin’s power would keep others in check so that the new laws would not be exploited. Camelot needed her protector, magicians needed their champion, and Arthur needed his friend.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin needed to recover. But after what had been done to him, Arthur didn’t see how he could. At least not on his own.</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur had been pondering the problem and a possible solution had suddenly occurred to him.</p><p> </p><p>The Great Dragon was alive. He had knowledge spanning centuries. He had known how to fight almost every magical threat Camelot had faced. He had provided Merlin with the spell that had healed Morgana of a brain injury that would have claimed her life, and he had brought Merlin back from the brink of death more than once.</p><p> </p><p>None of the books Gaius had, scientific or magical in nature, offered a cure for a malady such as this. But if anyone knew how to heal Merlin, surely the dragon would.</p><p> </p><p>As a dragon lord, Merlin commanded the dragon’s fealty. He would help. He had to.</p><p> </p><p>Abandoning his parchment and quill, Arthur made haste for the physician’s new quarters and barely knocked before he burst through the door.</p><p> </p><p>“How do I summon a dragon?”</p><p> </p><p>Gaius stared at him. “Sire?”</p><p> </p><p>“The Great Dragon. I know he’s alive. I need to summon him here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever for?”</p><p> </p><p>“He is a creature of magic, just like Merlin is. Who could better understand the damage Morgana inflicted and the impact her dark magic has had? The dragon might know how to fix what is wrong with him and bring him back to us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is not merely injured or ill, sire. He is traumatised. I doubt there is a simple cure.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur refused to let his hopes be quashed. “The dragon has knowledge that you do not. I am sorry, Gaius, you are a learned physician and much more of an expert in these matters than I, but this time I need a second opinion. We will not know for certain that the dragon cannot help until we ask.”</p><p> </p><p>“A dragon cannot be summoned by anyone other than a dragon lord, sire. Kilgarrah will only come if Merlin calls.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin retains the ability to speak in the language of the Old Religion. If the dragon tongue is similarly rooted in magic, he should be able to recall enough for a summoning spell.”</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose it is possible.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. I will make the necessary arrangements immediately.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur hurried to Agravaine’s chambers to inform him that he would be absent from court.</p><p> </p><p>“Again? Sire-”</p><p> </p><p>“This is important. You can cover for me, can’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, Arthur, but I thought you intended to put the new laws on magic into effect this afternoon-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m postponing the announcement until Merlin has recovered.” He wanted Merlin to be there when everything he had worked for finally came to pass, and he wanted to see Merlin’s face when he was given his new official title.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, I’m sorry, but you must realise how unlikely it is that your manservant will ever recover fully. He was tortured with <em>magic</em>. Magic can inflict agonies that no man-made instrument could, reaching beyond the physical to torment the mind and flay the soul. I am afraid that very little remains of the man you once knew.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have seen the harm magic can do, Uncle. But magic can also be used to heal. I am going to get Merlin the help he needs and he <em>is</em> going to get better.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where do you hope to obtain such a miracle?”</p><p> </p><p>“The Great Dragon.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine laughed, but the humour dripped from his face when he saw Arthur’s expression. “You’re serious. Arthur, I cannot stress enough how extremely hazardous it is to go hunting dragons. Hundreds of knights died during Uther’s crusade against the beasts.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will not have to hunt him; Merlin can call him here.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine froze. “You would summon such a monster <em>here</em>? Arthur, you are talking about endangering the life of every innocent person living in this city for the sake of one man! It is madness!”</p><p> </p><p>“The dragon won’t hurt anyone. He is obedient to Merlin’s commands.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin cannot even control his own magic!”</p><p> </p><p>“The dragon’s quarrel was with my father. He has no reason to harm the people of Camelot, especially now that we are planning to allow the return of magic to the realm. Besides, he has sworn fealty to Merlin. If it is within his power, the dragon will help him, I am certain of it.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are risking a lot on blind faith, sire. I strongly advise you against such a reckless course of action.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am sorry, Uncle, but I will not be dissuaded. The fate of this kingdom rests on Merlin’s shoulders; his recovery is paramount. Please convey my apologies to the councillors. I will return as soon as I can.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine inclined his head. Arthur didn’t see the gleam of triumph in his Uncle’s eyes, too preoccupied with wondering what he would say to the dragon to procure his assistance. After all, the last time they had faced each other the dragon had tried to burn him to a crisp and Arthur had thrust a spear into his chest. There was a lot of animosity in their past, but Merlin was their common ground. The dragon would help. He had to.</p><p> </p><p>The first step was getting Merlin to make the call. Arthur made his way down to the cavern, confident that his Uncle would handle matters of state until he returned.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>“Where is King Arthur?”</p><p> </p><p>Lord Baldor had arrived first to the council chambers and accosted Agravaine as soon as he stepped through the doorway. He had been passionately opposed to the new laws on magic from the start and no doubt had planned to present his arguments to Arthur one final time.</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine could not have planned this better if he tried.</p><p> </p><p>“I am afraid the King will not be joining us today, Lord Baldor.”</p><p> </p><p>“The King cannot seriously expect us to implement these laws without him. He is the only one pushing for the changes to happen; the rest of us would prefer things remain as they are.”</p><p> </p><p>“He is the king. No matter our objections, ultimately he has the final say.”</p><p> </p><p>“If Uther was here he would never allow this. King Arthur is going to bring destruction upon this city and the entire kingdom of Camelot will be brought to ruin.”</p><p> </p><p>“I fear you may be right,” Agravaine said quietly. “If you knew what he planned to do today-”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, I should not have said anything. I was spoken to in confidence.”</p><p> </p><p>“Anything you say will not go beyond us, Lord Agravaine, I assure you.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine glanced quickly behind, checking that they were truly alone. “He summons a dragon as we speak.”</p><p> </p><p>“Impossible. There are no more dragons.”</p><p> </p><p>“So we have been led to believe, but apparently Merlin has been hiding one. King Arthur called it ‘the great dragon’?”</p><p> </p><p>Baldor’s face transformed in horror. “Not the same dragon that attacked Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur says it is tame now,” said Agravaine, allowing doubt to seep into his tone. “He intends to seek its help with healing Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Fury sparked in the councillor’s eyes. “Merlin again! He is nothing but a servant boy. He is the bastard son of a peasant woman and he was not even born within Camelot’s borders! I do not see how the King can in good conscience put the welfare of this boy, this <em>lying sorcerer,</em> above the kingdom he is sworn to govern and protect.”</p><p> </p><p>“I admit, it does seem strange. Arthur was raised to put his duty to Camelot first. I cannot imagine how his priorities could have shifted so drastically, unless-”</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, Lord Agravaine?”</p><p> </p><p>“You have been present in Camelot longer than I have, Lord Baldor. Has Arthur always held such contrary beliefs to his father?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. In his youth he supported the late king in everything and obeyed his every command. It was expected that he would follow in Uther’s footsteps. But in his adolescence he began to challenge his father’s decisions. There were times he even argued against him openly in court.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see. And when did Merlin become his manservant?”</p><p> </p><p>Revelation dawned on Baldor’s face. “Around the same time.”</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine nodded slowly. “Merlin is a sorcerer. Maybe this has been his plan all along; to get close to Arthur and gradually corrupt him. Arthur could be under an enchantment.”</p><p> </p><p>“That is the only explanation that makes any sense. Magic killed both of King Arthur’s parents; were he in his right mind he would never permit the return of sorcery to his kingdom.”</p><p> </p><p>“But what can we do? The King will not hear a word against his manservant. He trusts him more than anyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“He trusts you, Lord Agravaine.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not enough, I fear. If magic has wormed its way inside of him and taken root at his core, Arthur will not see reason. We will not be able to convince him that he is being manipulated against his will; the influence of the magic has been too subtle, too insidious. Merlin has been patiently biding his time; he has strengthened the spell over years so the changes in Arthur would not arouse suspicion. Once magic is legalised, there will be nothing to stand in his way. King Arthur will be nothing but a puppet at his command.”</p><p> </p><p>“We cannot allow this to happen, Lord Agravaine. For the sake of Camelot and her King, we must do something.”</p><p> </p><p>“I agree. Can I count on your support, Lord Baldor, to do whatever is necessary?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. I will give you whatever you need and I will do whatever must be done to save Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are there any others on the council that we can trust?”</p><p> </p><p>“They are all fiercely loyal to King Arthur, but if they knew of the danger he was in… Yes, I believe they would help us. I will speak to them.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you. Quietly, now, Lord Baldor. We must not allow word of this to spread, lest the sorcerer find out and take measures to stop us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will take every precaution.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good.” Agravaine held out a hand for the councillor to shake. “Camelot owes you a great debt, Lord Baldor. When King Arthur is free from this curse I am sure he will richly reward your service.”</p><p> </p><p>A gleam entered the councillor’s eye as greed solidified his commitment to the cause. He shook firmly. </p><p> </p><p>Agravaine hid a smile. That had been almost too easy.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was with no small degree of trepidation that Arthur dismounted from his horse and ventured into the clearing where he was supposed to meet the dragon.</p><p> </p><p>Good men had died here, burned to death by the dragon’s flame. Arthur himself had nearly been killed as well. He owed his survival to his servant, but this time Merlin was not here to protect him. He had to face the dragon alone and he was not sure that he would live to tell the tale.</p><p> </p><p>But he would not turn back.</p><p> </p><p>He heard the heavy beat of wings on the air and a dark shadow crossed over him. He flinched instinctively behind his shield, a hand going for his sword. The ground shook beneath his feet as the dragon landed. Hot breath puffed over him, recalling the scorching heat of fires that had barely missed him. It took every ounce of Arthur’s courage to stand his ground rather than run for cover. He was entirely at this creature’s mercy.</p><p> </p><p>“Your sword will avail you little, Arthur Pendragon.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur made a conscious effort to lower his shield and release his white-knuckled grip from the hilt of his weapon. “I did not come here to fight you, Kilgharrah.”</p><p> </p><p>The dragon raised his eyebrows. “You address me by my true name.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin has told me a great deal about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It seems that many truths have been revealed, if Merlin has called me here at your bequest.”</p><p> </p><p>He spoke cryptically, as usual, but Arthur knew what he was not saying. “I know that Merlin has magic, if that’s what you mean.”</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed!” Golden eyes glinted with triumph. “So the long-awaited day of revelation has arrived at last. The wheels of destiny have begun to turn and the age of Albion is nigh. But all is not as it should be.”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Merlin is… he’s sick.”</p><p> </p><p>The dragon bent down to peer at him. “It is no common illness that can sever the connection between a dragon lord and a dragon for two long months. I knew he could not be dead, for the earth would have grieved his passing, but I could not sense him.”</p><p> </p><p>“We could not find him either. Morgana was holding him captive. She collared his magic.”</p><p> </p><p>A low growl rumbled in the dragon’s throat. “The witch claims to fight against the oppression of magic, but she is no better than Uther! Magic is not meant to be <em>bound</em>. It is the roar of fire, the crack of lightning, the calamity of an avalanche, the ferocity of crashing waves, the great upheaval of an earthquake. It is raw power drawn from the earth itself, wild and dangerous and beautiful. It should never be <em>chained.</em>” He practically spat the last word, eyes blazing. Arthur took a hurried step backwards as the dragon arched his neck and beat the air with his wings, exercising the freedom that his own magic had been denied for more than two decades.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin escaped,” Arthur told him quickly, hoping to subdue some of his rage before he set the whole clearing on fire.</p><p> </p><p>That gave the dragon pause. “It seems the might of Emrys cannot easily be contained.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nor controlled. After what Morgana did to him, Merlin’s magic has been running rampant. He can’t keep it in or turn it off, he can’t restrain it. His eyes are burning constantly.”</p><p> </p><p>The dragon did not seem concerned. “Perhaps it is a natural evolution of his gift.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is all but <em>gone.</em> He was more than his magic, he was good and wise and funny and clumsy and loyal and brave and he wouldn’t ever shut up – but all of that has been stripped away. He is a shell, filled with nothing but pain and fear and fragmented memories.”</p><p> </p><p>The dragon frowned. <em>“Merlin.”</em> There was a low hum to his voice and goose bumps rippled across Arthur’s skin; he could tell that the word held power. The dragon closed his eyes, listening intently. When he opened them there was sorrow in their depths. “I am sorry. I knew there was something wrong when he called, but I did not realise the extent of the damage.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur’s heart sank. He had been hoping that the dragon would tell him he was wrong, that Merlin was okay and just needed a little more time to adjust after his prolonged captivity. He didn’t want to hear that Merlin was lost to him forever. “Can nothing be done?”</p><p> </p><p>“The magic will allow no intrusions. Morgana’s torture penetrated deeply, so Merlin has been buried deeper still. In the attempt to protect him from further harm his magic has layered defences so thick that he has become a prisoner in his own mind. It would be no small feat to escape from this prison of his own making. After what was done to him, I doubt he has the strength.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t you help?”</p><p> </p><p> “Anyone trying to pull him out would be dealt with as a threat. His magic has reached a deadly potency; I doubt even I would survive the experience.”</p><p> </p><p>“There has to be something we can do. We can’t just leave him like this!”</p><p> </p><p>“I do not have the answers, King Arthur. Perhaps if you could find a way to convince Merlin that he is safe, his magic would release him willingly. But trust once broken is not easily restored.”</p><p> </p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know how Merlin was captured?”</p><p> </p><p>The question threw him. “Our theory is that Morgana came upon him while he was asleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“By happenstance? My, how fortune must have favoured her that day. Convenient also that she had magic-binding restraints on hand, rare though they are, and chose to use them on a hapless servant.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur could hear the sarcasm in the dragon’s voice. “She must have known about his magic somehow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin guarded his secret carefully. Only those he trusted knew the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you saying he was betrayed?”</p><p> </p><p>“Traitors can only come from among friends, King Arthur. I would have thought that was a lesson you would have learned by now.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur flinched at the less-than-subtle reference to Morgana. He had grown up with her. They had bickered like siblings, but when it mattered they had each other’s backs. Arthur would never have suspected her of treachery, not in a million years. He still struggled to understand how she could have turned on him, what he could have done to earn her hatred. It had been a betrayal that he could never have seen coming.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t want to think that there could be yet another traitor within his inner circle, but Morgana must have had someone on the inside. How else could she have known he was travelling through the Valley of the Fallen Kings with enough notice to set up an ambush? How else could she have known Uther was dying and that Arthur intended to use magic to heal him; how else could she have placed the enchanted necklace around Uther’s neck when he had been under heavy guard? How else could she have known about Merlin’s magic? Someone had to have been feeding her information.</p><p> </p><p>But who? He had to put feelings aside, ignore the bonds of love and friendship that had blinded him in the past and think about this logically. It couldn’t be Guinevere – she may have been Morgana’s handmaiden, but Morgana had tried to kill her more than once. It couldn’t be Gaius – he had come under suspicion before but his name had already been cleared. It couldn’t be Gwaine – he was the one who had alerted Arthur to the fact that Merlin was missing in the first place. In fact, it couldn’t be any of his knights – they had all been attacked by the bandits when Arthur’s route was leaked and barely escaped with their lives. It couldn’t be any of the councillors either – none of them had access to Uther on his deathbed.</p><p> </p><p>“The answer lies before you, King Arthur. You need only open your eyes to the truth.”</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. But there was only one name remaining.</p><p> </p><p>“Agravaine.”</p><p> </p><p>As he said it out loud all of the pieces began to fall into place. Agravaine had turned up out of nowhere, unexpected and unannounced, saying he had heard about Uther’s ailment and wished to offer Arthur his support. If he truly blamed magic for his sister’s death, why avoid Camelot for years after her passing? His brother, Tristan, had blamed Uther – it stood to reason that Agravaine felt the same. He knew Morgana from when she was a child; Arthur and Morgana had been to visit him a few times when Uther thought they should experience life outside the city, and Agravaine had doted on her like she was his niece.</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine had known about the route change and he had not been there to be caught up in the ambush. He’d had unrestricted access to Uther. He had cast suspicion on Gaius and convinced Arthur that he had to be the traitor, even when Arthur’s gut instinct had said otherwise. He had had been awarded his position in court because he was a blood relative and his loyalty had been assumed, unlike the others who had proven their loyalty through years of service. Of all the people in Arthur’s inner circle, he was the only one who did not have a personal bond with Merlin…</p><p> </p><p>And Merlin had tried to tell him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Agravaine has made this story up.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Because he is your uncle you will not see him for who he really is.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Arthur had silenced him. He had refused to listen.</p><p> </p><p>Heedless of his servant’s warnings, Arthur had continued to trust and confide in his uncle.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the council had learned of Merlin’s magic later, but Agravaine had been the first person Arthur had told. He had been the one to suggest sending Merlin back to Ealdor. He was the reason Morgana had known about Merlin’s magic and the reason she had known exactly where to find him.</p><p> </p><p>He had sent Merlin into a trap.</p><p> </p><p>And again, Merlin had tried to tell him. He had tried to stop him from re-entering Camelot, but Arthur had promised him it was safe. Merlin had launched them backwards off the steps of the castle to keep Arthur away from Agravaine, but Arthur had promised they could trust him. He hadn’t listened.</p><p> </p><p>No wonder Merlin refused to tell Arthur the nature of the threat within Camelot. He knew from experience that Arthur wouldn’t believe him. Merlin had been by his side for almost seven years, the most loyal servant and truest friend that Arthur had ever had, but Arthur had trusted Agravaine’s word over his.</p><p> </p><p>No wonder Merlin didn’t feel safe. No wonder his magic wouldn’t settle.</p><p> </p><p>But now that Arthur knew the truth, he could make this right. He would make this right.</p><p> </p><p>“If I stop Agravaine, will Merlin come back?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can offer no guarantees, young king,” the dragon answered. “But I do know this: if you do not stop the traitor, you will lose everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I will make haste. Thank you, Kilgharrah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin has always had great faith in you, Arthur Pendragon. Do not let him down.”</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t.” Not this time.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine watched Arthur’s horse approach the gates of Camelot and felt a thrill of anticipation. He had been hard pressed for time but everything was in place for the king’s arrival.</p><p> </p><p>“Remember what I told you,” he said. A group of young knights waited with him on the parapets, each highly skilled – trained by Arthur himself – but young and impressionable. “Your King is under the thrall of magic. When we approach him he will try to resist us, but is our solemn duty to liberate him from this spell no matter what he might say or do. When the magic is purged and the King is returned to his right mind, you will all be hailed as heroes of Camelot. Have courage.”</p><p> </p><p>The knights tightened their hold on their weapons, clearly nervous but determined as well. They had grown up under the belief that magic was evil; in the name of protecting the kingdom from a dangerous sorcerer they were all too willing to commit treason. They had already turned on their own; through force of numbers and the element of surprise, they had taken each of Arthur’s most loyal knights into custody and secured them in the dungeons. All that remained was Arthur and Merlin himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Come now. It is time.”</p><p> </p><p>They assembled at the gates, spears and swords held ready.</p><p> </p><p>“Halt!” the guardsman called.</p><p> </p><p>“It is the King,” Agravaine said, stepping out into the light of the torches. He motioned for the knights to stay back out of sight for now. “Let him pass.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur rode through the gates.</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome home, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>When Arthur caught sight of him his face darkened with rage. “You!” He swung out of his saddle and drew his sword.</p><p> </p><p>He knew, then. Agravaine had suspected that the dragon would reveal his true nature to the king – creatures of magic always did seem to have more knowledge than they had any right to.</p><p> </p><p>That is why he had moved so quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“King Arthur, what is the meaning of this?” he feigned as his nephew stalked towards him, murder in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Traitor,” Arthur hissed. “I should strike you down where you stand.”</p><p> </p><p>“My lord?”</p><p> </p><p>“You were in league with Morgana all along!”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s ridiculous. How could you believe such a thing?”</p><p> </p><p>“I might have been blind to your treachery before, but my eyes have been opened.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire, you are not making sense. I have only ever been loyal to you. I could never consort with a sorceress – magic killed my beloved sister Ygraine.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Don’t</em> speak her name! You have defiled her memory, using her as an excuse to cover your lies.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not the one trying to allow the return of magic to Camelot. Think about what you are doing, Arthur. I cannot believe you would allow her death, and the death of your father, to be in vain.”</p><p> </p><p>“This is not about magic! This is about you conspiring with my enemies to bring about Camelot’s downfall. This is about you trying to lead me astray at every turn. This is about you selling out my servant to be tortured and killed!”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin? Is he the one who has put these ideas in your head?”</p><p> </p><p>“He saw through you before I did. He tried to warn me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sire, I implore you to think about this logically. Merlin is a sorcerer. You have known all your life how dangerous magic is, how it corrupts and destroys. Why would you change your stance on magic now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because I was wrong. Magic is not evil.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are basing that assumption on the example of one man who has lied to you since the day you met.”</p><p> </p><p>“To protect me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, sire. To get close enough to you to cast an enchantment. You are a changed man since he arrived in Camelot. You have violated the First Code by allowing commoners to become knights – commoners who were loyal to Merlin first. You have consorted with a serving girl. And now you are tearing down everything your father worked for. An enchantment is the only explanation for this irrational behaviour! We must break the hold it has over you before it is too late.”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is not the one who has been manipulating me, Agravaine. It is you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you see? Merlin is trying to turn you against me because I see him for who he really is. I cautioned you against changing the laws on magic, and now he is trying to get rid of me. I am your uncle! I have only ever wanted what is best for you and for the kingdom. How could you take the word of a lowly servant over mine?”</p><p> </p><p>“You cannot draw the wool back over my eyes, Agravaine. The pieces add up to one obvious conclusion.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, sire. You are not seeing clearly. It is not your fault. You are bewitched. And so I will do what I must, for your own good.” Agravaine snapped his fingers and the group of knights emerged from the shadows to surround Arthur with a wall of steel. “Until the source of this spell can be eliminated, you are under arrest.”</p><p> </p><p>The shock on Arthur’s face was priceless. “You cannot detain me – I am the King of Camelot! This is unlawful!”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, sire,” Agravaine pulled a sheet of parchment from his belt. “I have here a decree signed by the majority of the council, calling for your immediate detention until this threat to the kingdom has been dealt with.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur turned his attention to the knights. “Sir Edmund, Sir Favian, Sir Dain, Sir Henry – all of you! You swore your allegiance to me. I am your king and I am telling you, Lord Agravaine is lying. He seeks to destroy Camelot. You must arrest him immediately!”</p><p> </p><p>“That is the enchantment talking. Do not worry, Arthur. When the spell is lifted everything will become clear to you once more.”</p><p> </p><p>“You cannot seize the throne like this, Agravaine! The people will not stand for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur, you misjudge me. This is not a bid for power. You will be released and reinstated as soon as you are clear of the taint of magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not enchanted!”</p><p> </p><p>“Please come quietly, Arthur. These men have no desire to hurt you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever you are planning, you will not get away with it!”</p><p> </p><p>“I am simply upholding the laws of your father. The use of magic is forbidden in Camelot and punishable by death.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur froze. “You wouldn’t dare.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is the only way to save you, Arthur. Merlin must die.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Arthur lurched forward but four knights grabbed him from behind and a fifth wrenched the sword from his grasp. He struggled furiously, trying to pull free, but the knights shoved him to his knees and clapped chains around his wrists. Still he fought, refusing to go down easily, snarling his rage. He twisted out from under them and kicked out with booted feet, catching one knight across the jaw and sending another reeling. But the others pinned him down, winning out through sheer weight of numbers.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Arthur,” Agravaine lied, barely able to contain his glee. He picked up a discarded spear and used the butt to deliver a sharp blow to the king’s head, knocking him out cold.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Magic tore through the cavern in a whirlwind, whipping up rocks and dust to hurtle through the air at tremendous speed.</p><p> </p><p>Wrong. Something was wrong. He could sense it.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>His voice was snatched up by the howling wind. Arthur couldn’t hear him.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur!”</p><p>
  
</p><p>His magic tried to pulse the message across the distance between them but Arthur was in a void. Unresponsive.</p><p> </p><p>Sleeping? Unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>Danger. <em>Danger</em>.</p><p> </p><p>It had begun.</p><p> </p><p>Snake in the grass, lying traitor. Seeking destruction, seeking revenge.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur didn’t know. Merlin should have told him. No trust, no trust.</p><p> </p><p>Wanted to kill him long ago. End the threat. Should have. Hesitation was fatal. But wouldn’t, couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur. His mother dead, father dead, sister dead. All by magic, two by his hands. An uncle too, too much, too many. No forgiveness. Hardened heart. No hope for Albion.</p><p> </p><p>But now Arthur could die. All would be lost. Had to do something.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Right now, you are </em>dangerous.<em>”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Not allowed out. Unstable. Could hurt innocent people. Blow holes in the citadel. Destroy everything. No control, can’t contain it.</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Not just Arthur at stake. Albion. Magic. Mustn’t jeopardise.</p><p> </p><p>But without Arthur nothing else mattered.</p><p> </p><p>Save Arthur. He had to save Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>He frowned, concentrating. The whirlwind slowed and then stopped. With great effort he pulled the magic back into himself.</p><p> </p><p>Control. Purpose. Stick to the mission and don’t hurt anyone else.</p><p> </p><p>He could do this. Had to remember how.</p><p> </p><p>Breathing. In and out, slow and steady.</p><p> </p><p>First cautious step into the tunnel.</p><p> </p><p>Light. Flickering torches. Someone was coming. Jangle of armour, booted feet. Knights.</p><p> </p><p>Enemies? He didn’t know. The memories confused him. Running – laughing – chasing him – closer – shared meals – yelling – fighting side by side – teasing – pain – drinking – violence – campfire stories – a brutal beating – apologies – forgiveness. The same faces, friend and foe. They came to visit him in the cave sometimes. At first he pushed them away, but they were gentle. Persistent. Sad expressions but encouraging tones. Radiating warmth. Friendship.</p><p> </p><p>Trust?</p><p> </p><p>Cautiously, he let them approach.</p><p> </p><p>Different faces. His hackles raised, magic pressing forward, but he held back. Red cloaks. Arthur wore a red cloak like that. It meant… something. Loyalty. Commitment to a cause… a code.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur trusted. Maybe he should.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur,” he said to them. Maybe he was sent for. Maybe Arthur was hurt in an accident? He could heal. Use his magic for good. “Arthur?”</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur is in our custody,” a voice said. The traitor emerged from the darkness.</p><p> </p><p>Rage and magic flared. The air crackled with an electric charge, building towards a devastating release. He stretched out a hand, ready to erase this blight from existence.</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Merlin. We have Arthur, you know not where. You cannot hope to reach him. If you strike me down and I do not return for him, the guards will do what they must.”</p><p> </p><p><em>They will kill Arthur. </em>Unspoken but implied.</p><p> </p><p>The magic didn’t care. It wanted blood.</p><p> </p><p><em>Arthur.</em> Threatened. Life at stake. How long would it take to find him? Big castle, bigger city. Could be anywhere. Couldn’t risk it.</p><p> </p><p>He restrained the magic, barely.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid the matter is very simple, Merlin. To save King Arthur, you must die.”</p><p> </p><p>Magic flared again but he clamped down hard. He would not act rashly. He would not risk Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>“It is the only way to break the enchantment that you have cast on him.”</p><p> </p><p>Lie.</p><p> </p><p>But the snake had a smooth tongue. Others would believe it. These young knights clearly believed it.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe even Arthur believed it.</p><p> </p><p>The traitor stalked forward. He leaned in close to whisper. “I know you have the power to save yourself. But if you try to use magic, I promise you, Arthur will die. If, however, you surrender to me, I will let him live.”</p><p> </p><p>Lie.</p><p> </p><p>“You do not believe me. You are the one who murdered Morgana; it is your head I want. But if I must, I will settle for his. I will die knowing that you must live under the agony of your failure to protect him. So what will it be? Your life, or Arthur’s? It is your choice. Strike me down and kill your precious King, or lay down your magic and sacrifice your own life so that Arthur may be spared.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t want to die. He had fought to survive. He had endured poison and wounds and beatings and torture. He wouldn’t die at the tormentor’s hand, even when sweet Death had beckoned. He had refused to give in.</p><p> </p><p>Not because he wanted to live. Living hurt. But he had known he had to live to protect Arthur. His destiny.</p><p> </p><p>But maybe he had lived to die at the right moment. To die in Arthur’s stead.</p><p> </p><p>When he died and Arthur was unchanged, he would know there had never been an enchantment. The traitor would be revealed. Arthur could dispatch him and the last threat to Albion would be gone.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps this had been his purpose all along. Perhaps it was time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I had no idea you were so keen to die for me.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>But he knew what he had to do.</p><p> </p><p>His life or Arthur’s?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“What is the life of a servant, compared to that of a prince?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>There was no contest, and there never had been.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur first. Always.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m waiting, Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Magic warred within him, struggling to get free. Fight, revenge, blood, destroy. It didn’t want to back down.</p><p> </p><p><em>Arthur, </em>he thought calmly<em>.</em> A simple word, but a command the magic could not ignore.</p><p> </p><p>He dropped to his knees and put his hands behind his head. Surrender.</p><p> </p><p>The knights seized him and bound him tightly in chains. The cold iron held no magic but it did not matter.</p><p> </p><p>He was in control now. He would not fight, he would not flee.</p><p> </p><p>For Arthur.</p><p>
  
</p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>Old Granny Alys was as blind as a bat and half deaf besides, but she was generally regarded about Camelot as a woman who knew things. She had been around a while, longer than most, and age had not dimmed her memories of the past. She also had a strange knack for predicting the future – not through any such nonsense as palm reading or fortune telling, but rather an ache in her old bones that seemed to precede any significant changes or events in Camelot. Most of the time it was simple things, like rain or drought or favourable harvests, but she had been known to give warnings shortly before Camelot was attacked, besieged or invaded and the people who heeded her lived to tell the tale. She had a reputation now, though the townsfolk were careful to keep it to themselves lest they get her into trouble.</p><p> </p><p>This night, the ache was so severe she couldn’t sleep. It felt like some great calamity was building on the horizon, waiting for the dawn. She didn’t know what it could be but she knew the threat was imminent. The world was poised on a knife’s edge and the slightest nudge would spill an ocean of blood.</p><p> </p><p>This time, she knew that there was nothing to be gained by running. If disaster struck the effects would ripple out across the entire kingdom.</p><p> </p><p>The ache was a warning, but there was a tingling in her toes and her fingertips that urged action… as though Camelot’s fate were not yet sealed, as though something could yet be done to save her.</p><p> </p><p>Alys shifted creaky joints and rose slowly from her rickety old rocking chair. Camelot was not a quiet or peaceful place, but despite the turmoil oft experienced here there was nowhere else she could ever consider home. In an age of dragons and kings and heroes it seemed unlikely that there was anything that an old woman could do to influence events, but she would not sit idly by.</p><p> </p><p>With shuffling steps, Alys moved to wake her son and grandsons. It spoke of their trust in her that they did not protest the hour or ask any questions. She sent the children to scout through the city in search of any hints as to what might be coming, and sent her son to quietly rouse the other townsfolk. Then she stepped out into the street, waiting, listening.</p><p> </p><p>Tension was building in the air. The very earth itself seemed to be holding its breath.</p><p> </p><p>This day would bring great change, of that there could be no doubt. Whether it would be for good or for ill remained to be seen.</p><p> </p><p>Young Fabian was the first to return with news. “Guardsman Merek said that no patrols have reported any enemy movements across the border. But when I asked him if he had seen anything weird he shut up tighter than a clam. He ain’t seen nothing, he said, and I shouldn’t worry besides because Lord Agravaine has everything handled.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lord Agravaine? Not King Arthur?”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what he said.”</p><p> </p><p>Tybalt scampered back next. “Friend of mine saw a bunch of knights fighting outside the tavern last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Drunken brawl?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of the lot he reckons only Sir Gwaine was drunk.”</p><p> </p><p>“Unsurprising.” Sir Gwaine was a notorious drinker known for his love of revelry and outrageous tales. This wouldn’t be the first time his fellow knights had dragged him home after a he’d had few too many tankards of mead.</p><p> </p><p>“They knocked him unconscious. And my friend reckons they were waiting for him.”</p><p> </p><p>By now the streets were beginning to buzz with activity and more stories were passed around. There were rumours that King Arthur was ill, which were supported by the fact that the physician Gaius had not been seen doing his normal rounds since mid-day yesterday. But according to a stable boy, the King had gone for a ride in the early morning and his horse had not been returned until late in the evening.  Apparently he had gone alone, but Sir Leon had not turned up to run the afternoon training session for the new army recruits, Sir Elyan had not overseen the changing of the guard and Sir Percival had broken his promise to help rebuild a house that had burned down last week. Lady Guinevere had not been seen in the marketplace, either, even though she had been due to pick up a filled order for a bolt of cloth. Stranger stories included sightings of a large winged creature in the distant sky and miniature earthquakes felt only in the city centre.</p><p> </p><p>What it all added up to, Alys didn’t know, but there was definitely something going on.</p><p><br/>Her eldest grandson, Roland, came running back. “Granny Alys! Granny Alys!” He was panting hard, barely able to get the words out.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, child?”</p><p> </p><p>He sucked in a deep breath. “They’re building a pyre in the central courtyard! Someone’s going to be burned at the stake!”</p><p> </p><p>Alys went very, very still. She had lived through the Great Purge. She had seen more people burned to death for the crime of sorcery than she cared to count. She could still remember the stench of charred flesh and the harrowing sound of their screams. It was something she had hoped never to experience again.</p><p> </p><p>Under King Arthur’s reign, she had thought such barbaric practices would be a thing of the past. Arthur was not like his father; he was motivated by justice, not hatred or anger. He did not take sentencing lightly, and he did not take pleasure in inflicting punishments. If a criminal had to die, he would choose a more humane method for their execution.</p><p> </p><p>She could not believe that he would put someone to death in this manner, no matter what they had done.</p><p> </p><p>“Take me there,” she said. Her grandson obediently took her hand to guide her and she heard others coming along with them.</p><p> </p><p>By the time they reached the courtyard dawn was nearly upon them.</p><p> </p><p>“There are soldiers around the square,” Roland said. “The pyre is even bigger now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Any word on who the condemned is?”</p><p> </p><p>“A sorcerer. No one seems to know any more than that.”</p><p> </p><p>The feeling was stronger here. Whatever was about to happen in Camelot, it centred on this moment. Who was this sorcerer? Were they innocent or guilty? What would the consequences be if they were executed? How could a single death herald the great calamity she felt sure was coming? Could it be that the sorcerer was the calamity personified?</p><p> </p><p>“Something is happening,” Roland said. “Gran, it’s-”</p><p> </p><p>“People of Camelot!” Lord Agravaine’s voice rang out across the courtyard. “Long has this kingdom been plagued by the evils of witchcraft, sorcery and creatures of magic. More than 20 years ago, King Uther began the Great Purge to rid us of this menace and bring peace to the realm. But despite his most vigilant efforts, magic infiltrated this city. A conspiracy has been unearthed that, left unchecked, would have brought chaos and ruin to this great kingdom. We have learned that a sorcerer has been present in Camelot for years, hiding in plain sight, planting the seeds of Camelot’s destruction even as he pretended to be a trusted ally. He bided his time, using his position in the court to get close to our King and, ultimately, to enchant him!”</p><p> </p><p>Concerned murmurs ran through the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>“King Arthur has been betrayed by a man he considered to be a loyal friend. The sorcerer planned to use him to bring the curse of magic back to the kingdom, and then would have killed him to seize power for himself. Had he succeeded, Camelot would have been doomed. But in the eleventh hour, the wicked plans of this sorcerer have been thwarted. I am pleased to announce that the sorcerer has been identified and captured. He will do no more harm to our city or our King.</p><p> </p><p>“It was King Uther who said ‘the law stands, or this kingdom falls’. Under our laws, the use of magic and enchantments are strictly prohibited, on penalty of death. But it is for the crime of treason, for betraying his King and conspiring to destroy this kingdom, that this sorcerer has been sentenced to die. Upon his death, may the enchantment be broken and our beloved King Arthur returned to us.</p><p> </p><p>“Bring out the prisoner!”</p><p> </p><p>An executioner’s drum beat began the haunting death march.</p><p> </p><p>As one, the entire crowd gasped.</p><p> </p><p>Alys cursed her lack of vision. “What? Who is it?”</p><p> </p><p>Roland’s grip tightened around her arm. “Merlin. Gran, it’s Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>“No!”</p><p> </p><p>The King’s manservant was well known to them. He was the one who brought Alys the tonic she needed to sooth the ache in her joints. He was the one who had splinted Roland’s arm when he broke it falling off a cart horse a few years ago. His hands had been deft and sure even as they were gentle and his cheerful chatter had kept Roland’s mind off the pain. Under his care and frequent check-ups, the arm had healed quickly. Merlin had gradually become a friend of the family. He had taught Roland how to ride a horse properly and he had showed the younger boys how to play games from his home village. It wasn’t long before all of the other children in the lower town had joined in the fun and Merlin had taken to bringing back little souvenirs from his travels with the King for them. Even the adults in the community were fond of him because he was always willing to lend a helping hand and spoke to the King on their behalf.</p><p> </p><p>He was the last person anyone would have ever suspected of being a traitor.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, you have been found guilty of using magic and enchantments.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where is the proof?” someone yelled out. It sounded like Frank, the harness polisher. In his early days of working in Camelot, Merlin had been sent to him to learn how to properly care for the Prince’s riding gear. Frank would be one of the first to admit that Merlin was hardly the most skilled servant he’d ever encountered, but by being an attentive pupil and irrepressibly cheerful he had managed to win the stern man over.</p><p> </p><p>“Take a look at his eyes,” Agravaine said. “They burn gold; the undeniable mark of magic.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s true,” Roland murmured.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is a sorcerer! He has been practicing magic under our very noses. Since his arrival in Camelot we have been attacked by magic in every form, from incurable plagues to sudden droughts, from griffins to dragons, from enchanted gargoyles to immortal soldiers, from witches to evil spirits. He is a corrupter, a defiler, a murderer. He is a threat to everything we hold dear. But that threat ends here, now.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, you stand accused of treason and conspiracy to use magic to destroy this kingdom. In accordance with our law you will be burned at the stake. Have you any last words?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was known throughout the city for his ceaseless chatter, but now he said nothing.</p><p> </p><p>“Very well. Guards, secure him to the stake.”</p><p> </p><p>“Gran, they can’t do this! Merlin didn’t do anything, I’m sure of it!”</p><p> </p><p>Alys considered herself an excellent judge of character. Merlin had never come across as anything other than a kind, earnest boy who wanted only to help others and serve his king. He was loyal and true-hearted and Alys could not believe that he would ever do anything to hurt Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Lord Agravaine on the other hand… she had always had her misgivings about him. He was a smooth talker, but his words sounded like lies.</p><p> </p><p>If Merlin was the man she thought he was, and a sorcerer besides, the only conclusion she could draw was that Merlin used his magic to help people. It made a certain sense – without a magical guardian, how could King Arthur have survived all of the attempts on his life, and how could Camelot have stood strong against far stronger enemies?</p><p> </p><p>She thought back to that feeling she’d had, that sense of impending disaster. If Merlin was Camelot’s great defender and they put him to death, the kingdom would be left defenceless. And if he was truly as powerful an enemy as Agravaine made him out to be – then trying to execute him could be a grave mistake.</p><p> </p><p>“They can’t kill him, Gran,” Roland said. “If he’s got magic he won’t let them, will he? He can defend himself, can’t he? Didn’t a doddery old sorcerer use his magic to set the pyre alight himself a few years back? Yeah. He ran off and disappeared right into thin air. Merlin will do something like that to get out of this, he has to!”</p><p> </p><p>If he did, they could all die bloody.</p><p> </p><p>The ache in her bones was stronger than ever.</p><p> </p><p>Knife’s edge.</p><p> </p><p>Friend or enemy? Protector or destroyer?</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur trusts him,” she said. “I trust Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>“The King! If he was here he would stop this!”</p><p> </p><p>Alys agreed; Arthur would never let this happen. “Go and find him. Get your brothers and your friends to help you. Spread out and search everywhere! Go now, quickly!</p><p> </p><p>Roland ran off and Alys knew he would do his best, but there wasn’t much time.</p><p> </p><p>She had to find a way to delay the execution.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin is innocent!” she called out. “He would never hurt anyone!”</p><p> </p><p>“Here, here!” others echoed.</p><p> </p><p>Alys’ son took up the cry. “Merlin is a friend!”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin helped me feed my family!”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin found my little girl when she was lost in the woods!”</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin helped deliver my baby!”</p><p> </p><p>A little girl piped up. “Merlin fixed my dolly!”</p><p> </p><p>More and more voices joined the din. Merlin had touched many lives since coming to Camelot.</p><p> </p><p>“ENOUGH!” thundered Agravaine. “Merlin is a sorcerer! He is evil!”</p><p> </p><p>That tired argument did not stand against the wealth of evidence they had to the contrary. “He is a good man!” Alys retorted and others shouted their agreement.</p><p> </p><p>“The law is the law! Anyone who has consorted with this sorcerer shares his guilt and will join him on the pyre unless they recant him immediately!”</p><p> </p><p>Silence fell. The instinct for self-preservation was too strong to risk sharing Merlin’s fate.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s what I thought. Bring the torch!”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Arthur became aware of was a dull throbbing in his head. His eyelids were heavy but he fought to open them, only to wince at the assault of the light and quickly shade his eyes. His fingers brushed against a large raised bump on his forehead, sending a jagged flash of pain through his skull. He groaned.</p><p> </p><p>Already regretting his return to consciousness, Arthur was tempted to pass out again but something was nagging at him. It buzzed in the back of his head, somewhere past the fog of pain, an urgent sense that he was missing something important.</p><p> </p><p>He rolled upright, ignoring the sickening lurch in his stomach. A wave of dizziness briefly overwhelmed him but he fought it stubbornly and stood to his feet.</p><p> </p><p>When his vision cleared he stared at his surroundings in bewilderment. He had been lying on the cold stone floor of his chambers, but he had no idea how he had ended up there. The last thing he remembered was talking to the dragon and coming to the realisation that the traitor in Camelot was none other than-</p><p> </p><p>“Agravaine!”</p><p> </p><p>His hand went for his sword but it was absent from his hip. He was kitted out in full armour – a feeble defence against a dragon but one he had been unwilling to go without – so why was his sword missing?</p><p> </p><p>He had ridden back to Camelot at full speed with every intention of arresting Agravaine on sight. His uncle had met him at the gates-</p><p> </p><p>With a full contingent of knights that had seized him before he had the chance to expose Agravaine’s treachery.</p><p> </p><p>No – he had tried. The knights would not listen. Just as Arthur had not listened when Merlin had tried to warn him.</p><p> </p><p>They thought – they thought Arthur was enchanted. They thought <em>Merlin</em> had enchanted him!</p><p> </p><p>The new laws on magic were not yet in effect. Sorcery was still punishable by death. Agravaine had threatened to-</p><p> </p><p>He was going to kill Merlin.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Arthur ran for the door, intending to burst through it. He was brought to a sudden halt as his shoulder slammed against hard wood that refused to yield.</p><p> </p><p>He shook the handles vigorously but the door wouldn’t budge. It was locked.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello? Hello! Guards! Someone! Let me out of here!” Arthur slammed his weight against the doors, once, twice, again and again. He drew back to deliver a powerful kick but the shock of impact reverberated up his leg and still the doors would not give. He stumbled and swore, cursing the workmanship of the ancient castle builders, cursing Agravaine, cursing himself for his idiocy. This was his fault. He couldn’t believe he had <em>trusted </em>that <em>snake</em>!</p><p> </p><p>He spun, trying desperately to rack his brains for a solution, and light slanted into his eyes through a gap in the curtains. Dawn had arrived and with it, the sound of drums.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had watched his father preside over enough executions to know what that meant.</p><p> </p><p>He sprinted to the window, cast the curtains aside and shoved the glass pane out of his way. He looked out into the courtyard and what he saw chilled him to the bone.</p><p> </p><p>Guards were binding Merlin to a stake. Wood was stacked high around him and the executioner stood off to the side with a burning torch in hand.</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine stood on the balcony, gazing down in judgement. His hand was raised.</p><p> </p><p>They were going to kill him.</p><p> </p><p>“No! No you can’t! Merlin! <em>Merlin!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>No one could hear him. There was some sort of commotion in the square; people were yelling, waving fists – demanding his death? They were traitors, all of them, how could they betray Merlin like this after everything he had done, everything he had sacrificed? He was a hero, a friend! He might have lied and he might have used magic when it was forbidden, he might have lost control of his power and maybe he was so far gone that nothing could save him, but none of that mattered! All Arthur wanted was Merlin by his side. He couldn’t die, Arthur wouldn’t allow it!</p><p> </p><p>“Fight, damn it, Merlin, that’s an order!”</p><p> </p><p>But Merlin made no attempt to escape from men who could not have hoped to contain him if he brought his magic to bear. He just stood there passively and let them wrench his arms behind his back. He let them bind his wrists excessively tight. He let them spit on him and kick at his ankle as they passed. He didn’t try to defend himself. He didn’t try to break free.</p><p> </p><p>How could Merlin let this happen? How could he let himself be led to the slaughter and do <em>nothing?</em> He had power enough to level the entire city of Camelot so why didn’t he <em>use</em> it?</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin you <em>idiot!</em>” he seethed.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was ready to kick and scream and pull his hair out in frustration but none of that would save Merlin. He had to get out of here.</p><p> </p><p>He looked down at the long drop to the courtyard below and considered making a leap for it. Without some sort of rope it was suicide but at least then he wouldn’t have to watch his best friend be burned alive.</p><p> </p><p>He could tear up a sheet and fashion a rope that way but it would take too long, Merlin didn’t have that kind of time.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn it!”</p><p> </p><p>“-sire! Sire? Your Highness? King Arthur, are you in there?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur spun to the door. “Who’s there?”</p><p> </p><p>“A friend. Wait, let me-” There was the sound of a key turning in the lock and then the doors creaked open to reveal a red-faced boy, dripping with sweat and panting from exertion. Arthur wasn’t sure he recognised him but thought he might have seen him around the market once or twice. “Sire, Merlin is-”</p><p> </p><p>“I know!”</p><p> </p><p>“You have to hurry!”</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur was way ahead of him, already out the door and sprinting down the corridor. He hurtled around corners and pounded down stairs. He was moving at a reckless speed – if he tripped he was liable to break his neck – but he forced himself to run faster. He had been too late to rescue Merlin once, he could not fail again.</p><p> </p><p>He burst out of the main doors of the castle. “Stop!” he yelled. His feet barely touched the stairs as he raced for the pyre. The torch was being lowered towards the kindling. “I order you to stop! Release him immediately!”</p><p> </p><p>The crowd parted for him but there was a wall of knights barring his way. Arthur’s hand went for his sword again, only to close on empty air. He was unarmed.</p><p> </p><p>“I am your king and I am <em>ordering</em> you to move aside!”</p><p> </p><p>The knights did not budge. “We’re sorry, sire, but we are under oath to protect you. This sorcerer has bewitched your mind. When he is dead you will be free, don’t worry.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a lie! Agravaine is lying to you! He is a traitor!”</p><p> </p><p>“You are confused. It is Merlin who has betrayed you. He is a sorcerer.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know! I know and I<em> don’t care</em>! He is the bravest, most loyal friend I have ever had and I will not let you harm a single hair on his head, do you hear me? Now let him go!”</p><p> </p><p>“We cannot do that, sire.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur lunged forward, intending to shove his way through the blockade.</p><p> </p><p>“Restrain him,” Agravaine called.</p><p> </p><p>The knights surrounded him, bristling with steel.</p><p> </p><p>A sword was pointed directly at his chest; incredulous, Arthur stared down the blade at the young knight he had trained personally. “This is treason!”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re only doing our jobs, sire, do not find fault with us for that.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur wanted to fight them, a part of him even wanted to kill them for their role in this, but they didn’t know what they were doing. They didn’t know what sort of a man his uncle truly was. “Agravaine you <em>bastard!”</em></p><p> </p><p>There was the slightest hint of a smug smile on Agravaine’s face; an expression Arthur had seen many times but failed to recognise. “Bring him to me.”</p><p> </p><p>The knights were gentle but firm as they seized his arms and guided him to the balcony. When they reached Agravaine he nodded to them and they obediently stepped back, leaving Arthur at his mercy.</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine levelled his sword at Arthur’s throat. “This is for your own good, Arthur,” he lied. “When Merlin is dead you will be well again. And if you are not… rest assured that your kingdom will be in safe hands.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur could read between the lines. Agravaine knew he was not enchanted; Merlin’s death would not ‘cure’ him, it would only serve to enrage him more. But if he continued his accusations against Agravaine and his support of Merlin and magic, Agravaine would convince everyone that the ‘spell’ was irreversible and Arthur was lost. He would force Arthur to relinquish the crown, or perhaps even go so far as to have him killed so he could not endanger the kingdom.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was trapped.</p><p> </p><p>A slow smile spread across Agravaine’s face. “You see? I am only acting in Camelot’s best interests. Somewhere beneath Merlin’s foul magic, you know I speak the truth. You won’t stop me because you know this has to happen.”</p><p> </p><p>In other words, there was nothing Arthur could do. Agravaine assumed he had already won… and Arthur feared he was right.</p><p> </p><p>Agravaine leaned close. He pressed the tip of the blade into the skin of Arthur’s neck; any more pressure and the skin would break. Arthur hardly dared to breathe.</p><p> </p><p>“This,” Agravaine whispered into his ear, “is for Morgana.”</p><p> </p><p>He raised his hand again; a signal to the executioner. “Let justice be served here this day. And let this be a lesson to all – magic will not be tolerated here in Camelot. Not now, not ever.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur looked down into the courtyard, frantically seeking his friend.</p><p> </p><p>Golden eyes met his gaze. They were filled with great sorrow and unspeakable grief. But they communicated something more than that. In a frozen moment that seemed to stretch into eternity, Arthur knew what his friend was trying to say.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Goodbye.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>The traitor’s arm dropped.</p><p> </p><p>The moment of connection between Merlin and his King was broken as Merlin’s focus drew sharply to the burning torch that arced towards the pyre. To his magic it appeared to move in slow motion.</p><p> </p><p>He could snuff the flame or knock the torch off course. It would take but a flicker of thought.</p><p> </p><p>But the traitor had a sword to Arthur’s throat.</p><p> </p><p>His magic lacked finesse. It didn’t know friend from foe. If he let it loose there would be a bloodbath and there was no guarantee Arthur would make it out alive.</p><p> </p><p>The traitor needed only to twitch and his blade would slice clean through Arthur’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>There was only one way to ensure Arthur’s safety.</p><p> </p><p>Resigned to his fate, Merlin let the torch fall.</p><p> </p><p>The wood was dry. It caught alight instantly.</p><p> </p><p>“No!” Arthur yelled.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin stared at the flames as they shot skyward. He felt a wave of heat wash over him.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin, no! Defend yourself!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin remembered. He remembered Arthur shouting those words at him once before.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had intended to execute him for his magic. He had assumed Merlin was a liar, a traitor, a danger to Camelot. Nothing Merlin said could change his mind.</p><p> </p><p>But those words had been the tipping point.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had attacked him, and Merlin had refused to fight back.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I will not risk your life for the sake of my own.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He had meant it then, and he meant it now. He was willing to lay down his life for Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t just about destiny, or magic, or Albion.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was a great man, and a great king. But he was also the man who had risked his life to retrieve an antidote when Merlin had been poisoned. He was the man who had drunk a drugged goblet in order to see Merlin spared. He was the man who had pulled Merlin out of harm’s way more times than he could count. He was the man who had chosen to forgive Merlin for his secrecy. He was the man who had accepted him for who and what he was. He was the man who intended to go against every prejudice his father had taught him to welcome Merlin and his magic into the kingdom. He was the man who had gone up against a powerful witch to save Merlin from her clutches. He was the man who had tried everything to bring Merlin back to himself.</p><p> </p><p>He was a friend. Merlin could not bear to see him hurt.</p><p> </p><p>Here, at the end, he remembered who he was. What Arthur meant to him.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin drew in a slow breath; his last taste of clean air before the smoke would engulf him. He glanced up at Arthur one final time.</p><p> </p><p>His blue eyes were wild with desperation and frantic with grief. Despite the situation, Merlin took some comfort in the sight. It was nice to know that the bond they shared went both ways. Merlin would be missed and he would be remembered. That was as much as he could hope for.</p><p> </p><p>He breathed a gentle sigh and closed his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>His next breath was choked. The smoke entered his lungs and he began coughing violently in a vain attempt to expel it. The heat was closing in around him, pressing in from all sides.</p><p> </p><p>He could feel the flames licking at his feet.</p><p> </p><p>This was – okay. He could – he could do this.</p><p> </p><p>But he couldn’t breathe. He struggled and gasped, instinctively struggling against the ropes that bound him. His chest heaved in desperation.</p><p> </p><p>Magic awoke.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The hem of his trousers caught alight. He could feel his skin burning. He could taste the poison in the air.</p><p> </p><p>The magic rose up within him, wild and ferocious, roaring to his defence.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It hurt. Oh god it hurt. His lungs seared, the heat was unbearable. He felt like his insides were turning to liquid and the flames were scorching his skin.</p><p> </p><p>The magic struggled mightily to escape his control but he wouldn’t let go.</p><p> </p><p>He begged death to come quickly.</p><p> </p><p>The magic bucked against him. It shoved the pain aside and for a moment Merlin experienced blissful relief. But the magic didn’t stop there. It bubbled to the surface and the pressure built exponentially.</p><p> </p><p>He tried to push it back down, suppress it, but his life was in imminent danger. The magic would not let him die so easily.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He could hear people yelling. The people of Camelot. He had expected them to bay for his blood but instead they had… defended him.</p><p> </p><p>If he let go, if he let his magic save him, it would not stop there. His power was immense and with every second that passed it only grew stronger. It was building towards an explosion that would take out half the city. Thousands of people would die.</p><p> </p><p>He couldn’t let that happen.</p><p> </p><p>The flames leapt higher; the pain reached a crescendo.</p><p> </p><p>The magic had reached a point of no return.</p><p> </p><p>For an instant his eyes burned hotter than the brightest flame.</p><p> </p><p>Then Merlin <em>screamed </em>and everything went black.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Let me out, let me out, let me <em>out!” </em></p><p> </p><p>Gwaine threw himself against the door of the cell. He snarled and spit at the guards, straining through the bars to reach them, to punch and scratch and choke the life out of their miserable carcasses.</p><p> </p><p>“You filthy traitorous blaggards, let me <em>out!”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Gwaine, stop.” A strong hand caught his arm; he wrenched out of their grip and spun with a growl.</p><p> </p><p>“Easy.” Percival held up placating hands. “Take it easy. You’re hurting yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have to get <em>out of here!”</em></p><p> </p><p>“It’s no good, those bars are solid iron,” Elyan said. “Not even out combined strength could hope to break them.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am not giving up! Merlin – our <em>friend</em> Merlin – is out there tied to a stake and that evil lying treacherous <em>bastard</em> Agravaine is going to have him <em>burned alive</em>!”</p><p> </p><p>“If there was anything we could do-” Leon tried.</p><p> </p><p>“THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Do you have any idea what Merlin has done for us? We each owe him our lives a hundred times over! He has sacrificed everything, suffered unspeakable horrors and all for us, for Arthur, for this <em>ungrateful</em> kingdom. We don’t deserve him, we never have. He is everything that is good in this world and he is about to be <em>brutally murdered!</em> What kind of friends would we be to let that happen?”</p><p> </p><p>“None of us want this any more than you do,” Guinevere said, trying but failing to keep her voice calm and steady. Barely suppressed tears brimmed in her eyes. “We all love Merlin. I can’t bear the thought of losing him like this but Agravaine has been two steps ahead of us from the beginning. He knew we would try to protect Merlin and he made certain that we couldn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t won. Merlin is still alive and while there is still breath in my lungs I intend to fight to keep him that way!”</p><p> </p><p>“But what can we do?”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine twisted in a tight circle and slammed his fists against the bars. “I don’t know!”</p><p> </p><p>There was a sudden clatter at the end of the corridor; the guards looked up in surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“You should check that out,” Gwaine said.</p><p> </p><p>The guards exchanged glances and one of them nodded; the other drew his sword and ventured cautiously down the hall.</p><p> </p><p>The second clatter came from around the corner. The guard vanished from view. Seconds later there was a yelp and a muffled thud.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like you’re under attack, mate.”</p><p> </p><p>The second guard drew his weapon but hesitated to move, glancing between the prisoners and the unknown threat.</p><p> </p><p>“Not much we can do from in here or we would have done it already,” Gwaine pointed out.</p><p> </p><p>Warily, the guard went in pursuit of his comrade. He turned the corner out of sight.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what-?”</p><p> </p><p>This time there was a loud clang swiftly followed by a thump and the jangle of keys.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine wasn’t entirely sure what he had been expecting but it certainly wasn’t the three young boys who rounded the corner.</p><p> </p><p>“Who are you?”</p><p> </p><p>The tallest of the three, who couldn’t have been older than eleven, spoke up. “I’m Tybalt, this is my brother Fabian and this is my friend Walter. Where’s King Arthur?”</p><p> </p><p>Good question. “He’s not here.”</p><p> </p><p>Their faces fell. “But Gran said we had to find him or they’re gonna kill Merlin!” Fabian cried. “I don’t want him to die. He’s my friend!”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t know where Arthur is, but we’re Merlin’s friends too.”</p><p> </p><p>Fabian sniffed. “Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s the best friend I’ve ever had,” Gwaine said.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’ll help him?” Tybalt asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Get us out of here and we’ll do our best.”</p><p> </p><p>“There are lots of soldiers out there,” Walter warned as Tybalt worked the key in the lock.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, Gran says the King’s knights are the best in the five kingdoms!” Fabian boasted.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine shared a look with his fellow knights. They had no weapons and they were up against more than double their number. “We had better be,” he said grimly.</p><p> </p><p>“Got it!”  Tybalt said. The door swung open.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, boys.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hurry!”</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine and the others did not have to be told twice. They dashed down the corridor. Gwaine wouldn’t slow for anything but Leon and Elyan swiped up the swords of the unconscious guards – absently noticing the broom handle and cooking pot that the boys must have used to knock them out. The party sprinted up the stairs. Gaius and Gwen couldn’t keep up with them; they called out that they were going to go and get some emergency medical supplies and branched off in the opposite direction.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine pulled into the lead. He had failed Merlin once and he was not going to do it again.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine had lived his life getting in and out of the worst kinds of trouble, but he had never run as fast as he did now.</p><p> </p><p>He burst out into the courtyard.</p><p> </p><p>The pyre was burning.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine did not falter in his headlong pace. His heart was screaming out in anguish that he was too late but his mind refused to believe it.</p><p> </p><p>Behind him he heard the battle cries of Leon and the others; cries for vengeance. They thought Merlin was lost.</p><p> </p><p>Out of the periphery of his vision he saw a sudden flurry of activity up on the balcony. Agravaine had Arthur at sword point but as he had turned to the source of the commotion below Arthur used the moment of distraction to launch an attack of his own. He batted the sword point aside with a gauntleted forearm and delivered a powerful kick to Agravaine’s chest that knocked him to the ground. Arthur drew a sword from the scabbard of a nearby soldier and was immediately engaged in a fierce battle against impossible odds.</p><p> </p><p>“To the King!” Leon yelled.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine refused to change course. He charged at the wall of guards at full speed, unwilling to even consider the possibility of failure.</p><p> </p><p>But when he slammed into the first soldier the entire wall crumbled as if struck with a battering ram. He was shocked to realise that he wasn’t alone; more than two dozen civilians had joined his charge and were striking at the soldiers with anything they could find. More and more people joined the fierce melee, overpowering the soldiers through sheer force of numbers.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine broke through. The heat from the pyre struck him almost as a physical blow. Thick smoke clogged the air.</p><p> </p><p>For half an instant, a slight breeze cleared his vision. He saw Merlin; he saw his eyes flare white hot.</p><p> </p><p>A terrible scream rent the air.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine braced for death and destruction and the end of all things – he remembered Morgana’s hut and he knew there could be no defence against this magic. To threaten a sorcerer was to court total annihilation and this time Agravaine had pushed too far.</p><p> </p><p>But the explosion never came. There was a slight concussion in the air and in the sudden absence of smoke, Gwaine saw Merlin’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>They were blue.</p><p> </p><p>Gwaine experienced a moment of pure elation as he saw his friend return from wherever his magic had been hiding him.</p><p> </p><p>But then Merlin collapsed. He hung limply in the ropes that bound him, blood trickling from his nose and ears, utterly spent.</p><p> </p><p>The magic had imploded.</p><p> </p><p>“No! Merlin!”</p><p> </p><p>Heedless of the danger, Gwaine ran forward and started ripping apart the pyre. Red-hot embers scorched through his gloves and his over-heated armour threatened to roast him alive but he didn’t care. He scattered burning logs and scrambled through flames onto the platform. The ropes had disintegrated to ash; Merlin was crumpled in a heap. The state of him was enough to make Gwaine choke on bile and almost spew up the ale he had drunk last night, but if there was even the slightest chance that he was still alive Gwaine would take it. He seized Merlin’s arms and dragged him off the platform.</p><p> </p><p>The crowd pulled back to make space for them. Someone tossed him a red cloak torn from one of the knights that he swiftly rolled Merlin into to quash the flames. When the fire was out Gwaine laid Merlin on the cool stones and checked for any signs of life.</p><p> </p><p>“C’mon, Merlin, be okay. You have to be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>But Merlin gave no response. His head lolled.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t breathing.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>A moment of distraction was all Arthur needed.</p><p> </p><p>He saw Gwaine burst from the castle, closely followed by Leon, Percival and Elyan. The noise from the crowd swelled in reaction but the battle cry of the knights was still audible above the din. Agravaine turned to see what was happening. A split second later Agravaine was on the floor and Arthur had a weapon in hand, but the soldiers guarding him spurred to action. In <em>Agravaine’s</em> defence. Arthur had trained these young men; he had taught them everything they knew. He knew their skills but he also knew their weaknesses and he used that knowledge against them. He was careful not to hurt them too grievously, knocking them out where possible or inflicting shallow wounds in strategic places that forced them to withdraw from battle.</p><p> </p><p>Even so, there were more than he could handle on his own. They almost overwhelmed him. Just as his sword was knocked from his grip, the Calvary arrived.</p><p> </p><p>“Sire!” Leon called. He tossed a weapon across the distance between them. Arthur caught it out of the air and whirled to face his next opponent.</p><p> </p><p>His sword clashed against Agravaine’s own.</p><p> </p><p>“Come now, Arthur, don’t be foolish-”</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur was done being lied to and manipulated. He brought his sword down hard and Agravaine barely deflected it. His eyes widened as he realised that his silken words could not save him now, but as Arthur’s sword bore down on him he recalled his weapons training and responded with equal fervour. They exchanged a furious flurry of blows and with every ring of steel Arthur’s anger grew. He was determined to see Agravaine pay for his crimes.</p><p> </p><p>But when Arthur heard Merlin scream, all thoughts of justice vanished from his mind.</p><p> </p><p>The muscles in his arms bunched for a powerful swing. His sword slammed into Agravaine’s wrist; there was a spray of blood and his blade clattered to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Arthur-” Agravaine gasped.</p><p> </p><p>But Arthur had no desire to listen to anything the traitor had to say. There would be no forgiveness, no second chances, no mercy.</p><p> </p><p>“This is for Merlin,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>He plunged his sword directly through Agravaine’s heart.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t wait to hear the death rattle in his lungs or to see the light fade from his eyes. He cared nothing for this man.</p><p> </p><p>The only person he cared about right now was down in the courtyard, dying or already dead.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur was barely aware of moving, but somehow he found himself amidst a people who were stunned to silence. They made way for him, clearing a path directly to where his best friend lay sprawled on the cobblestones.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, Arthur,” Gwaine said hoarsely. His armour was blackened with soot, his exposed skin was reddened and burned, patches of his hair was missing. “I tried - I tried to save him. But I was too late.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur couldn’t answer him; this was no one’s fault but his. Protecting Merlin had been his responsibility. He had promised that Merlin was safe here.</p><p> </p><p>Every step was an effort. Arthur felt weighed down by grief and guilt and the agony of his failure. When he reached Merlin’s side his legs collapsed beneath him. He landed heavily on his knees.</p><p> </p><p>Once so full of life and energy, Merlin now lay still. Quiet. Lifeless.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“I saw him there, in the end,” Gwaine said. “He was Merlin again, just for a moment. I think – I think that’s what he would have wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>No. Merlin had wanted to be standing by Arthur’s side as Albion was reborn. He had wanted to see magic returned to the kingdom. He had wanted to herald in the golden age of Camelot. He had wanted to be safe and accepted and valued. He had wanted to live in freedom and peace.</p><p> </p><p>He never would have wanted to die like this. This was the fate he must have feared since the first day he arrived in Camelot. He had used magic for Arthur’s sake in full knowledge that if he was ever caught he would be burned at the stake.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur had given him hope that his days of living in secrecy and fear would soon be over.</p><p> </p><p>But Merlin had been tortured. Merlin had been imprisoned. Merlin had died screaming.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur bowed his head over his friend. Tears welled up in his eyes and he didn’t even try to deny them. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>He laid a gentle hand on Merlin’s chest and struggled to think of a way to say goodbye.</p><p> </p><p>Numb with grief, he almost didn’t notice the strange sensation trickling down his arm.</p><p> </p><p>But he jerked back in surprise when Merlin took a sudden gasping breath and started hacking up his lungs.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin!” Arthur pulled him into his arms to support him as he coughed and gagged. “Easy, take it easy!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s chest heaved, pulling in desperate gulps of air. His eyes flickered open and skittered around uncertainly before lighting on Arthur’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Blue. His eyes were blue. Stunning, beautiful as a summer’s sky, <em>blue.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Merlin don’t you <em>dare</em> scare me like that again!”</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t – promise,” Merlin whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin tried to speak but another bout of coughing stole his voice. When it passed he collapsed weakly in Arthur’s arms.</p><p> </p><p> “’m sorry. Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“You have nothing to be sorry for.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head. “Can’t… can’t come back to you. Like you asked. I’m-”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur felt a deep sense of foreboding but he tried to make light of it. “This isn’t you resigning, is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“No. Happy… to serve you. Til the day I die.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur clutched him closer. “That day is not today. Do you hear me? You cannot die on me, Merlin, that’s an order.”</p><p> </p><p>“My magic… is gone, Arthur. It tried to save me and I… I didn’t let it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?”</p><p> </p><p>“Innocent people. Too many… had to keep them safe. What you would have wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur gazed down at his friend, heart aching with sorrow. “This is not what I wanted,” Arthur whispered, gently wiping a streak of blood from Merlin’s cheek. “Come on, Merlin, you have never let me down before. I need you to be okay. I need you to get better.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s gone, Arthur. I can’t – I can’t feel it inside me anymore. My magic is gone.”</p><p> </p><p>“But Gaius said you don’t just have magic. You <em>are</em> magic.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin nodded weakly. “Think… I’ll be gone soon, too.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Arthur refused to believe that. “You have already died on me once today. I won’t let you do it again.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry…” Merlin exhaled. His eyes began to lose focus. His eyelids drooped.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur shook him. “<em>No!</em> You can’t leave me. We have a destiny, remember? You can’t have one side of a coin without the other. I can’t unite Albion without you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin smiled faintly. “Believe in you… Arthur Pendragon… May be a prat but… be a great king.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not without you. I can’t do this if you’re gone. We’re soul-bonded. I need you.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin lifted a shaking hand to lay it against Arthur’s cheek. He gazed up into Arthur’s eyes, conveying more than he could express with words. His breathing was shallower, laboured, but he had one final thing to say. “It has been… an honour to serve you, my friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur placed his hand over Merlin’s, clinging to that moment of connection between them, refusing to accept that he would have to let his friend go when they had only just found each other again.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin…”</p><p> </p><p>But he didn’t know what to say. There was too much to say, so much left unspoken between them. It would take a lifetime, they needed a lifetime. They were supposed to grow old together. It was not supposed to end like this.</p><p> </p><p>“Merlin-” His throat burned and he closed his eyes against the tears. One escaped. It slipped down his cheek, a sign of weakness that no King should ever display. But all along, Merlin had been his strength.</p><p> </p><p>A gentle thumb brushed at the trail of moisture.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry…” Merlin exhaled. His eyes fluttered shut. His hand fell limply to his side.</p><p> </p><p>“No. <em>No!</em> Merlin, please-”</p><p> </p><p>The strange sensation stirred inside him again. It almost felt like…</p><p> </p><p>Magic.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Merlin is no ordinary sorcerer. His magic is not simply his own, but is drawn from the earth… and from you.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Soul-bonded.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s magic had been bound, but when Arthur arrived he had broken free from his chains.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin had been as good as dead, but he woke when Arthur touched him.</p><p> </p><p>“Your magic is not gone, Merlin,” Arthur realised. Fierce hope bubbled up within him as he caught Merlin’s hands up in his own. “You and I are two halves of a whole. I may not be able to wield magic, but what’s mine is yours.” Arthur squeezed Merlin’s hands, willing the life and power back into his friend. “Take it.”</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The age of Albion had long been foretold. Ancient seers had spoken of the Once and Future King who would unite the five kingdoms and bring peace and prosperity to the land. So too had they spoken of the warlock Emrys, who would be possessed of tremendous power – the likes of which this world had never known before and never would again. The great deeds performed by these two men would be remembered in every age to come, but the bond they shared was the true heart of the legends.</p><p> </p><p>For one was nothing without the other.</p><p> </p><p>Destiny had bided its time as these two young men grew separately as individuals and together as friends. But it was in this moment that the two halves became whole.</p><p> </p><p>Magic hummed through the connection between them and their joined hands began to glow as their life-force twined together. The earth responded in kind. Power rose from the very essence of life itself – from the trees, the rivers, the birds, the animals and the people – for all were connected in the grand story. Magic seeped into Emrys, healing his wounds and restoring his power.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes burned gold and for a moment Arthur feared the magic would consume him.</p><p> </p><p>But Merlin blinked and the gold faded to his natural blue.</p><p> </p><p>He looked up into the eyes of his king and his brow creased a little in bewilderment. “Arthur? What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not entirely sure. But whatever it was, I don’t think there is a single person here who did not feel it.”</p><p> </p><p>The crowd murmured in agreement.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin groaned and tried to sit up. Arthur supported him with a hand on his shoulder, feeling a warm buzz in his fingertips at the simple touch. Merlin seemed to draw strength from the moment of contact and was able to stand to his feet. He swayed a little but Arthur did not let him go until he was steady. Merlin smiled his gratitude.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur realised that something important had shifted between them. He doubted their lives would ever be the same.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“We’re alive,” Merlin answered. He sounded surprised.</p><p> </p><p>“What of your magic?” <em>And your mind? </em></p><p> </p><p>Merlin looked down at his hands. At a thought, twisting tendrils of magic began to dance in his palms and weave between his fingers. He brought his hands together and the magic faded. A gentle smile curved his lips. “It is mine once more.”</p><p> </p><p>His gaze suddenly darted up to Arthur’s face. “Agravaine?”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s dead,” Arthur told him. “He can do no more harm to you or to Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be.” Arthur felt nothing but relief. His uncle had been a traitor. He had tried to systematically destroy this kingdom and everything it stood for. But ultimately, it was not his treason that had earned Agravaine his fate. “He tried to hurt you,” Arthur said simply. “And he paid the price.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin seemed a little stunned by the declaration. “I never expected… I mean, I didn’t think that- you would ever choose me over him.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s why you didn’t tell me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. I know I put everyone in danger by keeping it to myself, but he was your uncle and I didn’t think… I knew you couldn’t take the word of a servant over his.”</p><p> </p><p>“Agravaine was family,” Arthur said. “But Merlin… I hope you know that you’re a lot more than that.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin flushed and dropped his gaze. “You too,” he mumbled. “Thank you for what you did.”</p><p> </p><p>“I meant what I said. You are safe here. From now on, we protect each other. Deal?”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin smiled at him. “Deal.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now, there is one more thing I must do.” Arthur turned to the assembled crowd and raised his voice so all could hear him. It was time to fulfil the promise he had made a long time ago.</p><p> </p><p>“Many of you know my manservant, Merlin. You know that he is kind and generous. You know that he is loyal and true. You know that he has a good heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Today, you have learned that he also has magic. Many of us have been taught that magic is evil and that those who use it will be corrupted by its power. We have faced many threats birthed from magic and many of us have lost friends and family to sorcery. I know that pain intimately. For years, my anger and bitterness blinded me to the truth. It is not magic at fault. Evil lies in the hearts of men who are greedy, selfish, crave violence and seek to exert power over others.</p><p> </p><p>“The qualities that Merlin displays are the exact opposite. I have never known anyone more humble or more selfless than he. Although blessed with extraordinary power, Merlin has been content to serve as a servant. He has never sought to claim the throne and he has never asked for recognition of his deeds. He acted in the shadows, protecting me and defending this kingdom. Time and again he has proven that he values the lives of others ahead of his own.</p><p> </p><p>“Lord Agravaine attempted to deceive us. He maligned Merlin’s character and made him out to be a criminal. But I ask you to judge Merlin based on what your own eyes have seen here this day. He could have destroyed this city to escape from the fire, but he has shown that he would rather die than see an innocent person hurt in his stead. It is clear to me that Merlin is not evil, and therefore magic cannot be evil after all. What say you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Here, here!” the people chorused.</p><p> </p><p>“It is for this reason that I have decided to lift the ban on magic. From this day forth, those who seek to use magic to help, to heal and to protect our great nation will be welcomed in Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>The people cheered and tears sprang to Merlin’s eyes. “Arthur…”</p><p> </p><p>But he wasn’t finished. “In addition, I am announcing a new position in the court. The person appointed to this post will be responsible for the regulation and monitoring of magic. They will oversee the integration of sorcerers into our kingdom and ensure that their powers are only ever harnessed for good. They will act in the capacity of advisor to the king and they will stand as the authority on all major decisions regarding magic. They will be called upon as a healer, as a protector and as a champion of the people.</p><p> </p><p>“In my capacity as King of Camelot, I decree that Merlin, son of Balinor, the last Dragonlord and the one spoken of in prophecy as the Great Warlock Emrys, is hereby awarded the title of ‘Court Sorcerer’.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin gaped at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Trying to catch flies, Merlin?” Arthur quipped fondly.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin’s mouth closed with a snap but he still stared at Arthur in complete bewilderment.</p><p> </p><p>“Well honestly, who else was I going to choose for the position?”</p><p> </p><p>“But-”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you accept the title?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well – yes – I guess,” he stammered uncertainly.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur clapped him on the back. “Then it is official. People of Camelot, I present to you: Court Sorcerer Merlin.”</p><p> </p><p>The crowd began to cheer. Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan, Guinevere and Gaius were the loudest among them – they all wore broad grins and clapped harder than anyone.</p><p> </p><p>“Long live the King!” Leon cried. Gwaine chimed in, “And long live Merlin!”</p><p> </p><p>“Long live the king!” the people echoed. “Long live Merlin!”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was wide-eyed with stunned amazement at his reception. “I don’t – I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Arthur. You have no idea how much this means to me.”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur remembered the servant who had kneeled at his feet, asking for death if acceptance would not be offered to him. Many years ago, a young peasant boy with a big secret had come to Camelot in hopes of finding a place where he could fit in. Now, at long last, that dream had been realised. “You’re welcome.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin grinned at him and Arthur decided that, after everything they had been through, he could permit a small display of sentimentality.</p><p> </p><p>He pulled his best friend into a rough hug. “Equals,” he declared.</p><p> </p><p>“Does that mean you’re going to do your own chores from now on?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur wrinkled his nose. “I’m still the king of Camelot.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to hire a new manservant, then?”</p><p> </p><p>Arthur frowned. “I like the one I have.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin shook his head with a laugh. “Picky, picky. I’ve spoiled you rotten, King Arthur.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well your magic can take care of things now, can’t it? But if you think the workload will be too much for you-”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin waved a dismissive hand. “It’s no more than I’ve already been doing – now I just get some recognition for all my hard work.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is well-deserved,” Arthur said seriously. “I mean it. If I haven’t said it yet… thank you, Merlin. For everything.”</p><p> </p><p>Merlin gave him a long, searching look as though judging his sincerity. Then he nodded, and his trademark beam spread across his face.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh don’t look so pleased. I’m convinced that you’re still an idiot at least fifty percent of the time.”</p><p> </p><p>But Merlin didn’t stop smiling, and Arthur hoped he never would.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The End</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Epilogue to follow</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the next few months the kingdom of Camelot underwent a dramatic transformation.</p><p> </p><p>Lord Baldor was forced to resign for his actions against the king. The other councillors and the young knights who had listened to Agravaine were strongly chastised, but given a second chance to prove their loyalty. Not another word was spoken out against Merlin or against magic.</p><p> </p><p>The changes to the laws on magic occurred smoothly. Messengers were sent out across the land and prejudices were swiftly abandoned when Arthur made it clear that any discrimination against magic-users would not be tolerated. When the people learned how magic could be used to improve their lives, they became far more welcoming of it.</p><p> </p><p>Gaius was the first to sign up to the Sorcerers’ Registry. He began to supplement his medicinal practice with magical potions and spells that accelerated healing. Many diseases and injuries that would have meant certain death were now easily treatable. Long-term conditions were cured once and for all. The deaf regained their hearing, the blind regained their sight and the crippled could walk again. People travelled from far and wide to seek Gaius’s remedies and the overall health of Camelot’s citizens was greatly improved.</p><p> </p><p>A young sorcerer named Gilli was the next to join. He was nervous at first, but prior transgressions were pardoned and he was permitted to present his unique fighting skills before the Knights of the Round Table. They were impressed not only by his swordsmanship but by his creativity and resourcefulness in battle. He became the first sorcerer to join the army in an official capacity.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly and cautiously, the Druids ventured into the city. Arthur formally recognised their people as citizens of Camelot and offered reparations for the persecution they had suffered. They began to trade their wares in the marketplace and shared their knowledge of the healing arts with Gaius. He gained three apprentices who taught him as much as he taught them and with their help his increased workload eased to more manageable levels.</p><p> </p><p>Gradually, more and more people with a variety of magical abilities emerged from the shadows. Many had been hiding their gifts for years, not wishing to live in conflict with Camelot’s rulers, but they delighted in their newfound freedom. Playful and beautiful magic danced through the streets, making the world just that little bit brighter.</p><p> </p><p>The very land itself seemed to flourish from the magic flowing freely through the kingdom; crops grew taller and more bountiful, producing more jobs and allowing increased exports to outlying villages. Camelot’s prosperity blossomed and hunger was eradicated. Even the poorest citizens lived comfortably.</p><p> </p><p>As the stressors of life eased, the arts and other forms of entertainment began to receive more attention. Bards, singers and storytellers travelled across the land telling bold tales of a courageous king, a wise sorcerer and a band of loyal knights. The stories became more and more exaggerated and for some reason Merlin came across as a wise old man instead of a cheeky insubordinate manservant, but they were good for a laugh.</p><p> </p><p>Arthur finally got around to proposing to Guinevere. The wedding was a wondrous affair, not the least because Merlin added little touches of magic wherever he could. Little white flowers bloomed in Gwen’s wake as she walked down the aisle, a chorus of birds sang perfect accompaniment to the hired band, wine goblets at the celebration feast never ran empty and, when darkness fell, bright colourful explosions decorated the night sky.</p><p> </p><p>In time, Arthur was able to send peace envoys to the surrounding kingdoms. Friends welcomed him and all he had to offer gladly, especially when Camelot’s protection was extended to their lands. Enemies knew to fear and respect the powerful sorcerer at Arthur’s right hand; they agreed to cessation of hostilities and grudgingly allowed trade across their borders. As Camelot’s prosperity spread, uneasy truces became profitable alliances.</p><p> </p><p>Camelot and her King gained trust and respect from their neighbours. The five kingdoms entered into an era of unprecedented peace, united under Arthur.</p><p> </p><p>Albion had been reborn.</p><p> </p><p>As for Merlin, he had never been happier. People knew who he was, who he really was, and they had accepted him with open arms.</p><p> </p><p>He was a respected member of the Round Table and his counsel was sought in all matters of state. Arthur trusted his judgement and relied on his wisdom, but still teased him mercilessly and engaged in the banter that had always been the trademark of their friendship.</p><p> </p><p>He was no longer known as the worst servant in the five kingdoms, but as the most powerful warlock in the world. Enemies feared him and allies welcomed his protection. Peace meant that he no longer had to use his magic for violent purposes, which eased the part of him that had never wanted to do harm to anyone. His reputation was enough to keep Arthur safe; no one dared to threaten him or make an attempt on his life with the knowledge that Merlin was ever-vigilant in his defence.</p><p> </p><p>Merlin was able to study and practice magic freely. Others were eager to learn from him and he enjoyed having the opportunity to share his knowledge with others. Over time he noticed that he was becoming more and more attune with his magic; he barely had to use verbal spells anymore because the magic responded obediently to his slightest whim. It operated on instinct, but he never again experienced a loss of control. The magic trusted him and trusted the people around him. He no longer had to live in fear.</p><p> </p><p>But what Merlin loved the most was the way that his relationship with Arthur had changed. They had been friends before, but Merlin had always been holding back for fear of discovery. Now that Arthur knew the truth Merlin was able to share everything with him. They had a lot of catching up to do and by the end of it Merlin felt that Arthur knew him far better than he had before. Past conflicts were resolved and old wounds were healed. They were able to talk openly with each other about anything and everything.</p><p> </p><p>With no more lies hanging between them, Merlin and Arthur were truly friends at last.</p><p> </p><p>The Once and Future King, and the Warlock Emrys. Brought together by destiny and bonded by love. Of course, neither of them would admit to such a girly sentiment, but it was there in their smiles, the silent conversations that passed between them in a single look, the private jokes they shared, their easy banter, their comradery and their boundless devotion to each other.</p><p> </p><p>The Golden Age of Camelot had arrived, and they joyfully entered into it together.</p><p> </p><p>ooOOoo</p>
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